i am 37 yrs old i just found out i am pregant but i am scared and confused am i too old i have 4 older kids?

Question

my kids are 16 yrs old 15yrs old 13 yrs old and 7yrs old i am scared to have an abortion and scared to have the baby i was going to have surgery not to have anymore kids a week before my appointment i found out that i was 5 weeks pregant i cant sleep i cry a lot and my husband feels i am too old what if he does not want it he tells me is up too me but he wont talk to me about the pregancy he says he will be there what ever i decide i dont want to do the wrong thing it hurts to think of an abortion but what if is born and is sick because of my age i will be 38 when is born please help i need advise not critism
thank you

Answer 1

God gave you this baby for a reason and only he know's why its a gift and you will be fine 38 is not old these days! congrats and give your husband time!

Answer 2

You're the same age as my mom was when she had me. I have six older sibling. When I was born they were 14, 13, 11, 11, 9, and 8. My dad was obviously shocked. Then again, so was my mom. So many emotions come into play when you're expecting a baby, no matter how old you are. If it hurts to think about abortion, then perhaps it's the wrong idea, and God's trying to tell you something. You aren't too old. If you were, then my mom would have been too, and I wouldn't be here; neither would my four year old son, and the daughter I'm expecting in November. There's a reason for every child conceived, even though we may not see that in the beginning. You'll have you're ultrasounds, and your amniocentesis (I had one, and I'm 22, so it's not just about age) and you'll be okay. And in the end, hopefully, you and your family will have this precious new life to celebrate with each other.

Answer 3

First of all - don't take any notice of people who say this baby is a gift from God..... That surely depends on what you believe! Second - Ignore the 'killing your own child' brigade.... that's hardly helpful advice for some one in need of support not damnation.

Here's my take on it.... I have a 9 year old son and we have been trying for another baby for 5 years but I have health complications. I think I will get there but it is taking time. I am over 30 but as a lot of the other answers have said, and medical literature agrees, 40 is now the threshold for 'old mums'. My son would love a sibling and I am sure your kids would too (after they get over the shock of knowing that you still have sex! Teenagers!). I have a good friend who has 5 children (as who is to say how many is 'too many'?) aged 16, 14, 11, 2 and 7 months. They are from two different marriages and the older kids love the little ones. They are old enough to help too. So maybe it would be easier.......

Perhaps you could put all your hopes and fears down on paper, asking your husband to do the same? Both of you have to be totally honest. Swap the papers and discuss what each has put.

Be true to your heart and you will make the right decision. Lots of love.

Answer 4

You are not too old to be having a baby. My dad was 39, my mom was 35 when she got pregnant with me. My brothers were 7, 10 and 12 when I was born.

Whatever you do don't abort, if you don't feel you can handle having a baby at this point in time, give the baby for adoption.

Sure it will be a new experience having a newborn after your other children are a bit older, but I'm sure the older kids will love the baby and even pitch in to help.

Answer 5

YOU ARE NOT TOO OLD! I had my first at 39 and second at 40! At times I would stress thinking about being older when they are in their 30's and such. But they are the best! I feel as though Ive been sooooooooooo blessed and I couldnt imagine them not being here! When you and your husband see the face of that beautiful child all your qualms willl go away! TONS of women are having kids at your age...........its not too late! Get an amnio and then you can know if your age is a factor. Please don't worry. Im sure you and your baby will be fine! Your husband will just need to get used to the idea ...again! I say go for it. Your kids will LOVE having a little one around. When my first was born.......my step daughter was 18 and my step son was 17. Now my step daughter has a baby of her own...(she is now 20) and we just had our grand-daughter to stay for the weekend. All the little girlies had sooooooooo much fun together and the older siblings ADORE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I wish I could give you a hug! Have peace in your heart and enjoy this time! Sending lots of good energy your way!
p.s. now you cant rent baby doplers and listen to your babies heart beat the whole time!

Answer 6

You are not too old..nowadays some woman are having babies into their 40's. There is a whole series of different tests-however that a woman over 35 has to go for when she has conceived. Talk to your doctor-she/he can put you at ease

Due to the fact you have already 4 children-it might be hard finincially... I am now 37 -I was going to have my tubes done after previous pregnancy- Which I did- only to discover- 2yrs later what a shock it was that i had concieved- It was the hardest choice i ever had to face-we hadn't planned on anymore children- but in your heart-you will know what you want to do

I would shoot my husband if he said that we were too old-
yes he said we are shorter on patience & finicially we could not afford another child- but if he supports you- bring him along to the doctor (it might reassure you & him both that your not too old)

Your body was made to concieve right up until menapause.

I wish you luck

Answer 7

Take a deep breath and relax.

37/38 is not too old to have a baby. Yes, it's a big responsibility as you already know, but I know a lot of families that have children into their 40s. One of my classmates had her next youngest sibling born about 12 years after her, and she was and is not sick because of it.

Remember that you have been given a gift. A potential to bring a beautiful life into this world. You can choose to throw away that gift, or choose to work together with your medical team, doula/midwife, and family to make this work.

It seems that you are doubting your husbands words. Why don't you open up and communicate your feelings to him? Isn't that what marriage is all about, communication? Maybe that is one of the things this baby is here for...to help you communicate better with your husband...

Good luck!

Answer 8

I have a friend who found out she was pregnant at 40 she has another child that at the time was 21yrs. old she cried everyday but she went through with it and that little boy was the best thing that has happened to her so she is now 44 with a 24 yr. old and a 3 yr, old and everything is ok. so it can be done and they have tests they can do to check things out and find out if they are any abnormalites if you are against abortion don't let a little thing like age stop you from having this baby there are people out there alot older than you having them and all is fine

Answer 9

You're not too old. Yes there are more risks for defects and complications, you just need to take more care of yourself. You will know fairly early on if there are any major defects, and if there are, then you can reasses if you still want the baby. Look at all the celebrities having kids late in life and they all came out fine! Have faith and your husband will come around in time when he realizes that everything is ok with the baby.

Answer 10

I am going to be honest with you I personally don't believe in abortions and if the only reason you are considering this is because of your age than i say no don't have the abortion ...have you talk to your doctor about your concerns because of your age?I think if you are in good health and have been taking care of yourself and take it easy during this pregnancy you should be fine but like i said you should talk to your doctor find out if he /she is concern ,,,the stress your putting yourself through right now is not good and i am sad to hear that your husband is indifferent in to what you decide to do you should really talk to him and your kids you don't need any stress right now I pray you keep the baby and everything turns out right for you and your family good luck and please speak to your doctor even get a second opinion.

Answer 11

Go ahead and have this baby!! Ask your doc and if you are healthy enough, then what is the problem? If your husband's indecisiveness is your concern, then sit down and have a talk with him before your pregnancy hormones kick in.
Oh, if your doctor approves, then you are never too old to have a child. My aunt had a child when she was 42 and the her son is fine. Hope all your confusion gets solved and you have a lovely pregnancy!!