this only happens when he has been drinking alot and i know he loves me very much . i need your help, he doesn't know that i know.
2006-08-10 04:23:48 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First of all, don't listen to hear say when it comes to your marriage. Get proof of what's being said on your own, then go to your husband to speak to him about your findings if they are hurtful to your marriage relationship. If he tries to deny it, then you can tell him that you have proof and it can affect your marriage if it doesn't stop. Maybe the drinking habit needs to be addressed to stop the other issue, but stick with a plan that will be the better for your happiness.
2006-08-10 04:38:28 · answer #1 · answered by msthinkpositive 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A person does not do something while drinking that he hasn't thought about sober. It just that the inhibition's gone. I'll bet he's pretty successful at it too as drunk proposals are SOOOO sexy.
You need to discuss this with him. You should point out that his behavior has been called to question when he's drinking so maybe he should stop. Find out what he has to say. It could just be some very boorish party behavior. That does not make it any more appealing but is not so sinister. Maybe alcohol turns him into a bigger jerk than normal. As for your informant, Its really not their business. What was their motivation for going to you instead of correcting him.
2006-08-10 11:39:49 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, why aren't you with him when he is drinking. Second, who are these people who are telling you? You need to confront him and have the people who told you with you so you have them there as proof. If they are going to tell you what he is doing, then they shouldn't be afraid of losing his friendship over trying to help save your marriage. He's drunk too, so he may just be kidding...but, being drunk is bad behavior on top of supposedly proposing to other women, makes it even worse,
I would want to know why he is doing it. I've heard that when your drunk the truth really comes out and I've heard that you can't believe anything a drunk says....So, if it is really bothering you ,,,then ask him.
2006-08-10 11:38:19 · answer #3 · answered by honeybee4u2c 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, tell him what you are hearing but not from who you are hearing it. Tell him you know he loves you and believe he would never do such a thing while sober, but it doesn't make it hurt any less. Maybe the two of you can come up with a solution through conversation. I can't help but wonder why is is out drinking without you though? Maybe if that stopped so would your worries. Good luck!
2006-08-10 11:32:55 · answer #4 · answered by Badkitty 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nobody should have to put up with that. He is drinking enough to lose his self-control, thereby putting himself and you at risk. Since most people would not run out and do that to someone they love, it sounds like he might have a drinking problem. There is nothing you can do to change that.
You need to take care of yourself and get help sorting yourself out to figure out what to do. Look in your phone book for Alcoholics Anonymous and ask them where you can find an Al-anon meeting. They might have someone call you back to tell you different locations/times.
Bless you, and keep yourself safe.
2006-08-10 11:34:51 · answer #5 · answered by peeple 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Denying the truth doesn't mean it doesn't exist. Stop making excuses and stand up for yourself. He may love you but that is probably because you are the one stable thing in his life. These people would not be telling you this for no reason. At least they are telling you. Most women get cheated on and no one tells them. Take action with him and be firm. Tell him to get help if he "loves you so much" or you are out the door. But in reality he is probably cheating on you. Why not investigate on your own or get someone else to do it. I suspect you already know the truth though and are just in denial. Stand up for yourself! No one will do it for you but you! You deserve better.
2006-08-10 11:41:51 · answer #6 · answered by shortnsweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that you have been told about these incidents. If it only happens when he is drinking, he may need to get into a 12 step program. This behavior can only lead to trouble. Communicate this to him. Good luck.
2006-08-10 11:45:24 · answer #7 · answered by jimel71898 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look madam this is not so serious I think but a man always speak truth when he got drunk.
I think your husband is a sincere man but he lose his control when he drunk.
If you wanna escape this problem first of all get your husband out of the habit of drinking .
All problems will be solved themselves.
2006-08-10 11:32:22 · answer #8 · answered by kellen_de 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is openly propositioning women when he is drinking, he is probably just more discreet when he is sober. It is probably time to sit down with him and discuss division of property and child support.
2006-08-10 11:30:55 · answer #9 · answered by Jamie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to him, ask him about it. Sure he is a grown up man, but if
he can not control himself being drunk, he has to quit going to bars, or better take you with him, so he proposes to you rather than extrangers.
2006-08-10 11:44:21 · answer #10 · answered by Carlos 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋