My husband says things to me that a very mean when he is angry..?

Question

When me and my husband get into an argument he using profanity and says very mean things towards me. I very rarely raise my voice to him. Things have never ever taken a physical turn and I never see that happening, but sometimes words can hurt more than fists. After we are done he apolagizes for what he said and says he doesn't know why he reacts that wa and he wants to stop, but after three years I don't see a change. How much is to much and should I do something about it?

Answer 1

Take it from a man who has just lost his everything because of this same reason. I would get fustrated because we were fighting over stupid stuff (mostly her trust and insecurites issues.) I never realized the words that I was saying hurt so much, now she is gone and I now realized that I was completely wrong. Has I had known the distruction, I would have attend anger management classes sooner. NO ONE deserves to be treated like that NO ONE. REMEMBER THAT. so get him the help he needs, find out the reasons why he is acting like that (there could be outside forces effecting him, work stress, ect) and get him to couseling. If that doesn't work. You will have no choice but to leave him. I wish I learn my lesson sooner, I could save my relationship.

Answer 2

At this stage, it is a form of abuse. Mental abuse can be worse than physical. It's up to you as to how far you will let it go. I have to say, we're in the same boat. He always says the things that hurts the most right? Take a stand and stand up fpr yourself. I was cowering down to him, last night we got into it pretty bad and I stood up for myself. Sometimes, it does make it worse, but the next few times your argument will be different. He will realize that you're taking a stand and you won't put up with it. Don't let him know that you're hurt by anything he says. He probably only says half those things just to upset you so that he has the upper hand. Remember that you don't deserve this.

Answer 3

Why do you make him so mad? First of all, speaking from someone who does the same thing. I normally don't say things until I get really mad. Then I blow up and i say things to hurtthe person back just to either shut er up or get her to leave me the hell alone. Then when I finally have calmed down, I can talk to her or not deal with her problem. You women don't get it. Sometimes you just need to leave us alone. Give us some freedom. Maybe then you will see a difference. In the meantime, he is probably just building up more animosity towards you.

Answer 4

Try stopping in the middle of the argument and telling him he really hurt your feelings with that and ask him if he really meant it. If you say this in anger he will tell you yes, he meant it, but if you show your hurt and vulnerability it tends to lessen a man's anger toward you.

Answer 5

It sounds like he needs to go to anger management classes. He needs to learn to control himself. You are correct, words can hurt worse than fists. It is called verbal abuse. Ask him to seek help. There is no shame in asking for help.

Answer 6

You should do something about it. From mean words to fist is just one step. Be careful.

Answer 7

yes, you should find courage and move out. this relationship is not going to last. he is being abusive towards you and it seems that he is doing nothing to control it while yu say you do not say anything to him back. this will only ruin your self esteem.

Answer 8

As a domestic violence/sexual assault counselor/advocate, I can say that this sounds like domestic violence, even if he hasnt hit you yet. He needs help, and if he refuses to get it, you need to be with someone who deserves you.

Answer 9

ou are very correct.
Words can cause more hurt than physical violence.
Ask your husband to read this-
http://www.yourromanceguide.com/articles/relationships/how-words-can-hurt-most-in-a-relationship.php