Too open and honest?

Question

my hubby and i clash a lot sometimes. I make sense of everything and openly admit when i am wrong without a probelm, I like to move on with things. I care about him very much but i am very honest and open with him as well as most other people i know. my mom says my personality may be too strong. is it worth it to tone things down, or just continue on with what i honestly know and feel?

Answer 1

There's a line between being honest and being tactless. Think if what you're saying has a point beyond you just needing to be honest. What are you trying to achieve? Plus there are ways to put things that sound less abrasive and get the same point across. Example: You've gained weight (unnecessarily harsh) or Honey, I'm thinking of getting more active, why don't you join me? I'd love your company. (same goal, said nicer).

Answer 2

Keep being honest but pick your battles. When something that he does annoys you, THINK for a minute, is it really worth fighting over? If so, be honest. If not, be quiet. But if something is really getting to you, it's best that you say so. Try to avoid accusing language like "You always..." but make it clear that there are certain things you expect.

For instance, my husband and I have a good relationship and a very open communication with each other. But I'm a feminist and also have a very strong personality and a stubborn streak to match. I had to tell him once "I understand that your father was the final word in your household but you need to understand that first off, I wasn't raised that way. If there is something that I feel strongly enough about, what you have to say about it doesn't matter." I told him that I felt there were VERY few things that I wouldn't consult with him on, and as a matter of fact, that I couldn't think of any right then.

Keep the lines of communication open, try not to accuse, and try to be patient and level-headed...after all...someone has to be.

Answer 3

To not be as open and honest would be not actually being true with yourself. Maybe it's the way you say things that could change like being careful with how u say things. I see your concern but didn't your husband know that u were always this way? and why should you hold back? If anything he should like the fact that you like to be honest and open without fear of what he or anyone else thinks. That's something not everyone has. Good luck to you and hope I was some help to you!!!

Answer 4

It is always the right answer to be open and honest. However, you can still be open and honest without offending others. If you tone it down, you will still get to say what you think, but try to phrase it some other way that won't be so shocking to other people. Be polite! Good Luck

Answer 5

It depends on your husband. Is he able to take your honesty? Or does it offend or hurt his feelings sometimes and are you able to take it if he is openly honest with you? If your husband can handle it then it is fine; if he can't then tone it down. You should talk to him and ask him how he feels about it. Feelings can get hurt when we are too honest sometimes. We can be honest but in a tactful way maybe you should try this approach!

Answer 6

Being always right may become irritating and is a lot of work.
Men have to keep a little of dignity to feel manly, since their role in society is to protect, provide and fix things for his family, If you make him feel as if he is always wrong or as if he doesn;t know any better and you do, then he might feel as if you don't need him and you are in danger of tempting him to go where he is accepted and viewed as a hero.

Yes, is time to tone it down dear or you might be earning the trophy of being right but alone.

Good luck

Answer 7

keep who you are. your husband married you for a reason, that is probably one of them. people like others that are honest. they may not like what they say occasionally but at least they know that is how you feel. being honest and being tactful however are two different things. maybe you could tell your husband the truth but not make it as harsh as normal. that way he is still getting what he loves about you, but not getting hurt by it. good luck

blessed be.

Answer 8

tone of voice and body language has alot to do with getting your point across in a more subtle way

Answer 9

As long as you know how to state what you feel with respect, I don't see why you have to change who you are.

Answer 10

I think that you have to be yourself for real. He knew what he was getting before he married you and vice versa. You have to be able to be yourself with your husband if no one else.