I am struggling emotionally with this issue and would love some advice from outsiders. When I got pregnant my boyfriend and I were not getting along well at all, we were broken up, yet still living together. Long story short, I ended up sleeping with his best friend close to the time I got pregnant. I am not a very promiscuous girl, I haven't been with anymore then 6 people, but I was so hurt by the way he was treating me, and his best friend was of course feeding into it all with stories. Bad excuse. So, basically I am not 100% sure who is the father of my son. My boyfriend knows that, and of course everyone who sees my son says that he is definitely his. But, since the thought is in my head I think he favors the other guy. What happens when my son gets older if I am still having a hard time getting over all this? He's one now. Do I tell him even though my boyfriend and his family has been the one in his life? Or is it not even worth it? I am so ashamed and I can't let it go
2006-08-10 01:14:45 · 15 answers · asked by Momin2005 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
MY BOYFRIEND'S BEST FRIEND DOES KNOW, BUT HE HASN'T BOTHERED TO TRY TO CONTACT US. AND GET THIS, HE LIVES LESS THEN A MILE AWAY!! I MIGHT BE ADDING FLAME TO THE FIRE HERE???
2006-08-10 01:33:08 · update #1
Believe me I know it bothers you. You know..just because they'll be people out there that will judge you on this don't let it bother you. I know it's hard. You're being honest though..I'm in a similiar situation right now...Doesn't the boyfriends friend suspect that the child is his...He knows he slept with you during the right time. Do you think this guy would be a great father..or do you think it will just cause too much heartbreak on yourside. It's hard to say hun...only you would know best. If it's eating away at you..you need to get it out in the open...find out who the real father is and tell him. If my son had a child out there I would want to know. Good Luck!
2006-08-10 01:26:35 · answer #1 · answered by justwonderingwhatever 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You may want to have a paternity test done just for your own peace of mind. You don't need to be ashamed, but at some point you will want to be sure.
As far as your son goes, regardless of who the father is, the only family your son knows is your bf's family. "Family" is not always biological - it's the people that love and accept you no matter what. A paternity test in favor of the best friend would not change that in your sons eyes.
2006-08-10 08:23:45 · answer #2 · answered by Avid 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok the best thing that you can do is just tell him he's going to get mad at you no doubt but you have to think about your son right now he is number 1 in all of this and you don't want him to grow up not knowing his father I have a 3 year old and he is the love of my life and I put him first in everything that I do because
that chid is going to be there when noone else is. It's going to hurt but you need to sit both of them down
and tell them what is going on you need to do this for your son.I really hope that this helps you.
2006-08-10 08:22:15 · answer #3 · answered by lasondraperry-graham 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i guess your boyfriend is the right father of your son. you were pregnant before you had sex with his best friend so he is the father of your son. let sleeping dogs lie cos bring up this will cos a lot of pain to you and your man and it will even affect the baby try and put the past behind you and move on and never repeat it cos it is so bad. all the best
2006-08-10 08:22:09 · answer #4 · answered by Prisca 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey Shannon.....
First of all, quit beating yourself up over it..... what happened has happened.... if you really want to know..... get a blood test done...
Then the truth will be there for you to decide on.......
Your son is way too young to understand now anyway..... I was adopted when i was a baby,,,,,,, and my parents didnt tell me until i was like 6 to 8 yrs old....... by then,,, it didnt matter..... I just knew that they loved me......
good luck
2006-08-10 08:20:36 · answer #5 · answered by eejonesaux 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for one you was wrong for being with his best friend.its seems that you was trying to get back at b/f.now you have a kid and not sure whos the father.to save you the **** tell them both and get a dna test done and find out.when it is time for your kid to grow up and he/she will find out and when they do find out he is not the father they will hate you.one thing about women thats does this crap it only hurts your young.so what i would say drop them both and move but be sure to get dna
2006-08-10 08:52:39 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to his best friend and tell him how you feel tell him you both did enough damage to this man and you dont want to hurt him that way would he be willing to go for a dna test with out your husband if it turns out he is not the friends then you spared you husband alot of heartache not to mention the struggles your relationship will have try that.
2006-08-10 08:26:55 · answer #7 · answered by nicole l 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just get the paternity test/ or DNA testing done. That way you wont wonder for the rest of his life who it may be..
2006-08-10 08:31:39 · answer #8 · answered by yournotalone 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a paternity test and put your mind to rest.
2006-08-10 08:19:16 · answer #9 · answered by 'Barn 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't you just get a paternity test and put your mind at ease?
2006-08-10 08:17:51 · answer #10 · answered by LTD 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋