Married couples, how your marriage as sweet as it was the first few years both of you met?

Question

how do you keep flame burning? i heard after a few years of marriage couples have fewer sex? does the spark fade off after marriage? any success stories or tragic?

from what i see usually newly wed couples would hold hand be so close together after they had kids no more holding hands its like that just another person in the house no more lover like the lover u use to be the holding hands so inlove kind of lover.

everyone here is answering how much they love what i need to know is....

how you keep the flame burning?

Answer 1

Well I can tell you for certain that true loves does exist and that at least one couple I know still has the same in love feeling.

My parents have been married for 51 years, and they still hold hands, make love, my dad opens doors for my mom and they both have a sparkle in their eyes when they look at each other.
And they have gone through hell in their marriage. Meaning they have lost two of their children. One to a drunk driver and one to suicide by hanging and they clung to each other through it and depended on each other to make it through both situations.

And then last year for their 50th anniversary we had a huge celebration of their love with all their family and friends.
They also renewed their vows before God and family.
And this time I got to be my mothers maid on honor.

Answer 2

Hi, am married for the last 8 yrs. You are right, after a few years ur relationship with ur spouse become a little routine kind. But u can try this.
1. Talk to ur partner abt this and take her suggestions
2. Go out on a holiday atleast 2-3 times a year
3. respect her/him and appericiate small things which we generally ignore
4. Give break between sex (dont do it daily, unless both of u really feels like doing it daily)
5. Try to be like friends then husnband and wife
6. Spend time with her/him by going on long walks in the evening, after dinner

Cheers

Answer 3

Well, I'm still a newly wed (1 and a half years) but I say marriage is great. I cannot promise you that there are never rough times, but when you marry your best friend you can get through them. In order to keep passion in your marriage...it's something you just have to work on. Things do change. Especially after children, it's so easy to live for your children and sort of give the leftovers to your mate...but this only builds resentment and anger. Yes, sex does change after children...you have to make time for it some days. But if you love your husband and if the relationship is strong...the sex is great! The spark only fades if you allow it to.

Answer 4

I have been married for 6 years and together for 11. We are still totally in love. We still have that burning passion for on another. We have 2 kids, so we try to get away at least once a month, even if it is just dinner. It helps keep the fire. I think we have more sex now than we did 2 years ago when my first son was still little. I think our passion has grown since the first day we met I do not ever think it will ever be put out. If you find your one true love it will last forever.

Answer 5

My wife & I have been married for 41 (42 in dec.) years. WE love eachother more now then when we first wed.We learned different thing about each other each day, We learned to over look the bad faults and only look for the good in our marriage. The sex becomes less important as the years go by. We still have sex but it means more to us then mere pleasure. It is a way to show our lasting love We are down to 2 times a week because of our ages, I am 63 ,she is 61. so we slowed down a little.

Answer 6

To be honest. I love my husband dearly I am 26 been married now for 9 years we have had our ups and downs and always came out in the end. In every marriage there are gonna be hard times and you may always love that person and care about them but I don't think it is ever like when you first met, to me that is the most important part of your marriage in the beginning everything is always great and wonderful and then it sometimes dies down. Of course like i said the love is always there but the feelings of first meeting and first being husband and wife is something that will always be the best time of your life. I well for me the sex has died but then again I am a mother of 4 and don't see how he would want to look at me or touch me, but I love him very much and wouldnt trade the world for him

Answer 7

Yellow rose and the last entry has the right idea.

Treat each other like you did before you got married. Go out on dates once a week. (picnic in the back yard, walk in a park feeding ducks--they don't have to be expensive dates)...even just walking for exercise when you are the two alone-able to talk, laugh etc. Writing email messages to each other, or leaving each other love notes on the bathroom mirror or tucked in a purse or wallet...'court' each other.

Sex diminishes depending on circumstances, but you can still find time and ways to make each others 'toes curl'.. Been married now 36 yrs. Our anniversary is Sunday.....Have we been happy? Not every day of the year, but we work at it and we love each other and feel blessed to have each other. We are each others 'cheer-leader' YAY !!!

Answer 8

This Q is going to give you varied answers because I think each
of us bring to a marriage different viewpoints of what we believe
is pertinent to a union. So, for as many people who answer is
how many diverse answers you'll get.
My marriage was sweet in it's own way. We've evolved & I
don't want that type of luvvy-duvvy stuff at this point in my life. It's
not needed. I still love my mate today as I did when I 1st met him
20yrs. ago. The tenure has changed, the intensity has improved
the depth has increased, the big picture has colored.
All of this has to do with my loyalty,sincerity,devotedness,&
a host of complexities.
If you don't invest into your marriage it will fizzle out like anything
that needs constant watering & attention. If you're dedicated to
the union all things will fall in place. But you both must do this.
1 person can't love enough for the both of you,
You should'nt try to live in the past. Or try to re-capture the
past. The past is what it is:The Past. It served it's purpose for
when it was needed. Move on, & address the needs of your mate
today. Don't compare today with the past,you'll get into trouble.
I'm happy today. I miss somethings,but I realize why they're not
available today.And I've agreed to this new status & moved on.

Answer 9

i am a firm believer that the same thing you did to get'em is what u gotta do to keep'em. i'm 36 and he's 40, we've been married for 16 yrs. and we are still up to 4-5 times a week. just keep it fresh change with the times and be each others fantasy. if he wants to go see a stripper SHOW HIM A STRIPPER and vice versa. body massages,all tied up, in the shower, act like teenagers experimenting. dont be shy if you love this person. show them how much and what lenths your willing to go through to prove it.when we first met we use to have sex outdoors all the time,after the kids i though that would stop and i didn't want it to. we found time to sneak out at 3am to empty playgrounds and such. keeping the flame burning is a job for 2 but its not hard and well worth it

Answer 10

If you are in marriage for the sex then it is for the wrong reason. Sure sex plays a role but it is the companionship that keeps the spark. Think of it this way, suppose your spouse ends up with an ailment that prevents them from having sex. Do you seperate or divorce them? What about age? Your relationship should start with a real friendship and companionship, then the spark lasts a lifetime.