is it ok to have bi sexual feelings when your with a woman you love?

Question

ok well iv always been bi for as long as i can remember. my fiance also knows this about me. we have been together for 4yrs now but im starting to want to go out and see other men. i dont want to leave her i love her to much. she is against me going off with other men or woman wich is understandable. any suggestions on what i should do?

Answer 1

Well your not married but you have been in a relationship for 4 years together which is a long time so there has to be some kind of commitment there. How does she feel honestly about your bi feelings, and has she ever had the same feelings or desires or even fantasies. Sexual desires and experiences with other people or couples is perfectly normal, allot of people that have been happily married for years fulfill fantasies, be it with another woman with them or another man or even couples. If and only if she has desires and you do things sexually together always being the couple and realize that it is only sex and you don't let your emotions or jealousy get caught up in it, then you might could do this. Otherwise, if you leave her to be with someone else and she is just the third wheel, then you will lose the commitment that you have and you had better get ready for a complete breakup of the relationship that you are both in.

Answer 2

You can't help the way you feel...and by all means you should be able to do what you want. But, you have to be mature enough to distinguish between what you want. If you love a women that tells you that being with someone else will hurt her, then you have to decided....which is more important.

You could hurt her and expect her to stay around, which she may for awhile, but this will only end in heartache. So, can you truly say that this is love? Most likely not the kind of love that she wants/needs from you. So, you could choose to be completely honest and tell her you will be true to your nature and you're not ready to be in a monogamous relationship. Then allow her to make the choice to stay or go. Again, most likely she will choose to leave once she realizes you don't love her enough to be faithful to her and her alone. But, you do say you love her, so at the very least, you owe her the complete honesty up front.

Who knows, maybe with some counseling you two can figure out that your relationship with her is worth maintaining faithfully because you really want to be with her for the long term. I suspect not, though if you're looking for someone here to give you a way to feel better about having sex with someone other than who you love and using being "bi" as an excuse to hurt someone you "love". Love is about so much more than having sex with different partners, dude!

Answer 3

Tell her how your feeling so she can make a decision for own emotional and mental health as what to do. If you love her so much then it should be enough and you'd do anything to keep her which includes NO more men. You may not want to lose her but she may not want to stay with someone that wants to be with men. Respect her enough to make that decision. If you absolutely can't stay away from men then you need to let her go and not hurt her.

Answer 4

Have you considered interesting her in a threesome with another man? I once knew a girl that was left by her husband for a man, because the desire to be with one grew into a desire beyond a mere fantasy. Your bi-sexual desires are not going to decrease over the years to come, in fact, they will tend to increase. What she needs to realize is that [1] she knew you were bi-sexual, but wanted you anyway, [2] that love and sex are not one in the same, and [3] that granting you this freedom will only strenghten your love for her; for who would leave someone that will allow them to have their cake and eat it too?
On the other hand; you need to realize that your desires will only increase over the years, and that you will eventually cheat on her, which could end the relationship. Would you be willing to allow her to have private sex with any man she sexually desires in the present or future? If not, then you can understand why she feels the way she does. People cheat, because they don't want their mate to have the same privalege, nor do they want to lose their mate.
Jealousy is a fear of loss. Some people are jealous about their mate's ex-lovers, because they feel as if that love is something they lost out on. However, what they fail to realize is that the heart has many rooms in which for love to reside, and the love in one does not diminish the love in another, but rather, adds to the love of all. For the more reasons you find to love about one, the more reasons you find to love about all.
It would not be fair to her, or to your relationship, to cheat on her. Thus if she is not willing to allow you your sexual freedoms, freedoms that will grow in intensitiy to become a reality, the relationship will eventually probably end anyway. This is something you must face, and offer her the option of deciding what she wants to do; end the relationship, or grant you your freedom. However, you must be willing to allow her her freedom as well.
Just remember, and remind her, that fantasy is always greater than reality. Chances are, because of your love for her, and thus your primary interest in women, that if she granted you those fantasies, they would diminish in time, because of your primary interest in women/her. You might try renting two movies; one with two gay guys, and another with a bi-sexual man threesome.

Answer 5

If you're starting to want to go out & see other men and you're not even married yet then all I can say is... It's over. Even before it's begun.

I don't think you're ready to get married. Whether you're straight, bi, or completely gay... you shouldn't make a commitment if you can't stick to it or aren't ready.

Simple. You have to decide now. What's more important to you.

Answer 6

as far as your question is concern, it is ok to have bi sexual feelings when you have a girlfrend. being bi, it is normal that you are attracted to both sexes. Now if you really love your gf, stay true to her. If the urge of flirting with guys or girls is really overwhelming, that a sign that you don't really love her or you hasn't find the one.

Answer 7

befor you get married you must resolve this if you want an open marriage she was told your bi and agreed with this and accepted you, didn't she ever think about you and men? i don't think you are to blame you told her you could have lied but right now your lying to yourself .desires are hard to fight please talk to her about the way you feel you never know she may be willing for a three some.i do wish you the best.

Answer 8

Obviously you are not ready to settle down with her. And if you truly loved her you wouldn't want to be with anybody else. I do not believe in men seeing men or visa versa. Life is too short to take a chance on eternity. Where do you want to spend eternity? Nuff said.

Answer 9

If you were really in love with her you would be totally satisfied. You would not need to stray. Do not marry her if you are not sure you can stay faithful. That is so wrong and a huge sin.

Answer 10

Nothing if you do go out with men that is two sins in one. Adultery and homosexuality. Okay maybe it isn't as bad as it looks but hey do what you want to do. But try and think of the aftermath.