I personally do not think so , yes you can grow to love someone for soemthing you want like to start a family ...i see it like a girlfriend if the chemistry is gone would people would leave they wouldn't stay so if there is an arrange marriage no chemistry why would people stay with each other especially those london men who have arrange marriages with chinese, japanese girls ...no offence just curious ...or is it the looks ????
2006-08-09 23:25:56 · 10 answers · asked by chase_fred 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hello,
Think about it, people who have arranage marriages, want to start a family, there aren't looking for an equal partner.
I am from London and i have noticed that lots of white men have chinese,japanese brides, i asked one when did you meet, how did you fall in love, she was like he saw my picture from a marriage ad. She didn't look happy but she said at least her parent will be well looked after.
She says she can try and love him, but not in love with him, she says that is impossible, how can you love someone who wants you for their chiildren.
She also says she gets so bored, he dosent really let her go out.
it depends, nowadays if the man is young he isn't going to have a marriage or try and work it out with his girlfriends, cause the chemistry is gone, but with an arranged marriage he will, cause he put his investment into an arranged investment.
You are right, also think about it from theis point of view --> some people do things because they want something back <------get arranged marriage, quite wife, dosent talk to much, obeys, always there when he wants something like sex 24/7. That might be okay for some people but definately not me.
Another one ...some people even change their religion for their arrange marriages purpposes that is shoking, if you are a beliver you would change that just makes people like that fake...that should give them the message...
The deal with arrange marriages is when the flame is over or whatever alot of people distance themselve from that person or even when their children is oldre, they start wwith the affairs, divorce settlement....
i rather find one true love who loves me and i love him with all our heart and we go through this world together. He dosen't have to be rich as long as he truly deeply passionately loves me and i love him that is all that counts.
and offcourse a religious person....
there are lots of love marriages that work its outweight arrange marriages, just because people has been through alot that doesnt makes love marriages that don't work....
aloso think about it, arrange marriage you do not know what the person is like they could be the devil from hell and you might find out when it's too late
2006-08-09 23:34:58 · answer #1 · answered by kida_w 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm.... let me paste the answer i had given to another question...
I hail from Kerala, India. And arranged marriage is more or less the norm over there. I have to say that most of my friends find it exciting when they hear that their ‘mate has been found for them’. You have to understand that arranged marriages are not done at random or anything. The guy and his family meets the girl, gets to know her (or as close to it as possible. Hey, how much can you know about someone in such a short span of time anyway) and IF they both like each other, then further matters are discussed. I don’t really know how much time all this takes, but it’s not done overnight.
Over here, marriage is seen as a bit more than the union of two people. It’s kinda seen as the union of two families. At least it used to be. Nowadays, with nuclear families being more of the norm, things are changing. In the old days, I am told that having marriages done in that fashion helped maintain a close knit family…
And another thing is that India is a land of diverse culture. The land has a mix of races, religions, languages, customs, etc… So arranged marriages assists in bringing similar people together by reducing the randomness that would characterize the other kinds of marriages. This is rapidly losing its importance in modern society, but still, it’s there.
I’m not supporting the system, but I have nothing against it either. If the people are willing to go that way, let them. But if they are rational enough to make mature decisions on their own, AND they want to find their own partner, then they should do that. Hey, it’s a free country
:)
Bottomline, it's not too bad, and it's not something too good either. Both disciplines have their own advantages and disadvantages.
2006-08-10 07:07:44 · answer #2 · answered by Hammy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey
I dont think so i knw elderly peeps who arrange yes they claim to grow to love but that is also based on looks as well.
Would you arrange a marriage with a girlfriend who was deformed.. ...
would you have an arrange marriage with an ex even though you are still in love with her...
would you have an arrange marriage with an ugly person that would be no , so they has to be some love of the sexual attraction or physical attraction as they say
arrange marriage break down, you do not even know your wife, she knows you will never love her like a man to a woman she is her to bear your children
arrange marriages are like the army --> you follow orders
love marriage --> love deeply listen toy uor heart...
any of you who say arrange marriage work ? have you had one ? do you know someone i do and they tell me it might look perfect on the outside on the insde it isn't they wished they have followed their heart.
man, i know am one,we play around when we are young, when we are so old we'll find a wife ...that is about it.
so an arrange marriage is perfect.
i do think it will hurt if you deeply love someone and you left them for an arrange marriage and you see your true love with another one, it has to hurt very deep...not worth it..
so i'll stick to true love
2006-08-10 06:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is like winning a lottery! Sometimes, whether love or arranged, it works and sometimes not. If there is the compatibility between them it will surely works. Maybe those doing arrange mariages cud have fallen in love with the person they have married if they had met just "au hazard". Well love is love though before mariage of after mariage...
2006-08-10 06:49:03 · answer #4 · answered by samiaa25v 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the thing is... if it didn't work, then there would be no reason as to why most arranged marriages last life-long, whilst most love marriages fall apart.
the keyword here is expectation: in love marriages, you're blinded and expect too much.. when you don't get what you wanted, you exit as quickly as you entered.
in arranged ones, the word compromise is what starts it... and then that becomes understanding.. and hence a successful marriage... IF, of course, it's not forced and it's by free will
2006-08-10 06:33:14 · answer #5 · answered by conspicuous 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some do, some don't. In some cultures, arranged marriage is the only way to go. Makes me appreciate our freedom of choice, that's for sure!
2006-08-10 06:52:50 · answer #6 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it can, I went down to the local watering hole picked me up a women and said "...arrange our marriage, we're gettin' hitch this summer when I saved up enough cash.
2006-08-10 06:49:29 · answer #7 · answered by ndvsne1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, as the architect saying in 'The Matrix' : There are levels of survival.
Similarly, in my view, there are 'levels' of work. In my view they don't work at a good enough level. Perhaps once a choice of a mate is done (possibly you have a say in choosing 1 of n shortlisted) you are forced to make it work.
I could be wrong :)
2006-08-10 13:53:17 · answer #8 · answered by zero 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes ! It works !!!
2006-08-10 06:35:26 · answer #9 · answered by mohanvenu 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no they do not work
2006-08-10 07:48:48 · answer #10 · answered by sashaaspen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋