So many time I find out poeple don't reciprocate good will, can there be a way keeping distance with such ?

Question

I WANT TO KNOW HOW TO AVOID PEOPLE MAKING ME FEEL AM BEEN USED TO ACHIEVE THEIR PURPOSE.

Answer 1

No way. Unless you want to isolate yourself from the outside world.
What's your purpose in lending them a helping hand? Though many a times, we are not expecting any returns but nonetheless, we don't want to feel "betrayed"
You have to learn to say "No". Eg. I'm afraid I'm not the best person who can assist you.
Most of the time, I'll say, "Can I get back to you again, I'm busy now." This gives me some time to think through the matter before giving any committment.
Normally, when I don't response, they won't bother me. If they do, I'll just tell them my decision in a nice way. Don't say things like "Why should I help you?"
It may seems very hypocrite, at least you are not making enemies.
Those whom you've help and you know that they are making use of you, keep a distance.

Answer 2

Don't feel so bad. I feel the same way everyday. There is a techinque I use and that's to compartamentalize your feelings from your thoughts, your personal life from your professional life. I don't go anywhere near people whom I know will only use me to achieve their purpose on a personal level. But since my work is in serving the needs of my community, I am in a way, being used to achieve some sort of purpose. If friends need my help, I will help because it is our nature to help. But if they can't even have the decency to say thanks, thats not our loss, its theirs. Because after that, we're not helping them anymore. Don't feel bad that you offer good wil with no thanks - its on the better side than being the ungrateful one, right?

Answer 3

That is a frustrating situation. Especially when goodwill is rejected.

Unfortunately, there will always be people who will abuse you. I just pray for them and learn from that person and avoid them in the future. Unfortunately, I don't know how to spot them in advance either.

Answer 4

Are you expecting a return in your favours? I will only hurt you when your expectations didn't materialise. Perhaps, you should do things because you don't mind doing it or you just feel good doing it.