What is your favorite Windows Joke?

Question

Posted it again

see previous answers

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AoLUfRpHZhpdpGJB5DXfCUEgBgx.?qid=20060809154356AAC5CmI

Yo's is the best so far - made me laugh

Can you do better?????

Answer 1

Is Windows a Virus?

No, Windows is not a virus. Here's what viruses do:

* They replicate quickly - okay, Windows does that.

* Viruses use up valuable system resources, slowing down the system as they do so - okay, Windows does that.

* Viruses will, from time to time, trash your hard disk - okay, Windows does that too.

* Viruses are usually carried, unknown to the user, along with valuable programs and systems. Sigh... Windows does that, too.

* Viruses will occasionally make the user suspect their system is too slow (see 2) and the user will buy new hardware. Yup, that's with Windows, too.

Until now it seems Windows is a virus but there are fundamental differences:Viruses are well supported by their authors, are running on most systems, their program code is fast, compact and efficient and they tend to become more sophisticated as they mature.

So Windows is not a virus.

It's a bug.

Here's a Bill Gates joke:

Bill Gates - World's Smartest Man
One night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, Bill Gates, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the compartment.

"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the door and jumped from the plane.

Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.

Bill Gates rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am the world's smartest man. The world needs smart men. I think the world's smartest man should have a parachute, too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.

The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a parachute, and I will go down with the plane."

The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry, pop. The world's smartest man just jumped out wearing my backpack."

Answer 2

Windows 95 - Plug 'n' Pray...
Windows - a solitaire game that requires 16 MB and HD
Windows - The best $89 solitaire game you can buy
"Fer sail cheep, Windows spel chekcer, wurks grate"
The word "Windows" is a word out of an old dialect of the Apaches. It means: "White man staring through glass-screen onto an hourglass..."
Alt-F4. Just do it.
This virus requires Microsoft Windows 3.x

Answer 3

Three Apple engineers and three Microsoft employees are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, The three Microsoft employees each buy tickets and watch as the three Apple engineers buy only a single ticket.

"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a Microsoft employee.

"Watch and you'll see," answers the Apple engineer.

They all board the train. The Microsoft employees take their respective seats but all three Apple engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.

Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket, please."

The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on. The Microsoft employees saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea.

So after the conference, the Microsoft employees decide to copy the Apple engineers (as they always do) on the return trip and save some money (being clever with money, and all that). When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the Apple engineers don't buy a ticket at all.

"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" asks one perplexed Microsoft employee.

"Watch and you'll see," answers an Apple engineer.

When they board the train the three Microsoft employees cram into a restroom and the three Apple engineers cram into another one nearby.

An Apple engineer then goes to the Microsoft restroom knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please..."

Answer 4

wats 1+ 1? a window

Answer 5

There are 10 types of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't.

Answer 6

my linux(god) didnt like the windows(adam) way of life, so he created unix(eve).

Answer 7

i'm not retarded......i just like licking windows

Answer 8

your a pane !