Does a child make or break a relationship ?
2006-08-09 22:04:51 · 28 answers · asked by primamaria04 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This is a complex question for a variety of reasons. I will break it down as to when it makes a relationship and when it breaks a relationship.
MAKES
1) Both members of the couple feel that they are ready to bring a child into the world (or adopt a child) and they are both completely comfortable with the decision.
2) Both members of the couple have a desire to have a family.
BREAKS
1) One of the parties, most frequently the father, never felt comfortable with the idea of being a parent.
2) After the baby is born, frequently the mother becomes “cold” sexually because she is too exhausted taking care of the child and the father sometimes feels neglected. As long as the mother still finds time to share affection and love for the husband, this should not be an issue.
3) When the child is conceived to try to hold a relationship together. If the relationship is not going very well, a child will rarely save the relationship. Usually, it complicates the relationship because there is child support and visitation issues if the relationship fails.
4) When the couple cannot afford to raise a child. When money is tight and they are living paycheck to paycheck, the added financial burden of feeding, clothing and buying needed supplies for the baby will raise tensions, increase arguments and possible lead to separations or divorce (Because it is easier than being a responsible parent and partner)
I hope that this helps to answer your question.
All the best to you!
2006-08-09 22:20:15 · answer #1 · answered by mgctouch 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
With a child the attention of the wife is not on the husband as before but on the child. The husband definitely feels this. Sex takes a back seat and disappears unless the couple takes action to schedule it in and makes decisions to respect the needs of each other in the context of the child. Having a child is a great moment because it is the culmination of nine months of eternally waiting. Finally he is here. Then reality hits. It is just the beginning. You go through all the stages and in the end you will dearly love your children. However, it is my judgment, and I think that most would agree, though there will be few that adamantly oppose this, that marriages are better without children. The couple is happier and focused on each other. I know lots of guys who tell me they have no sex life with their wives, so they hunt for it elsewhere, or at least think about it. They all tell me they love their kids, but if you want a happy marriage, they say, don't have kids. I ask them if the kids were hard to raise. Oh no. They are good kids. They are talking about the quality of their marriage. Definitely went down after having kids. You will find happy exceptions here and there, but on the whole, what I report is the reality. It is common that after the kids are gone that the marriage cannot get back together again. Too much bitterness and hurt. With kids gone, the couple has to focus on each other. They didn't have to do that for twenty years or so, but now it is just the two of them. This is where many divorces occur. They hung on for the sake of the kids. Yet if there were no kids they feel their marriages would have survived. I have heard many a person tell me to marry but don't have kids. There is a reason for that.
2006-08-10 05:36:06 · answer #2 · answered by pshdsa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
to be honest having a child can do both. because maybe one person wanted the child and maybe the other didnt. it is sad to say that a child can even come in between a relationship, cause that child didnt ask to be born into this world. But when someone has a child it should be the most special thing in the world having a baby is god's gift a true blessing and both parents should enjoy it, if you didnt want a child then either keep your pants on or wear something
2006-08-10 09:31:51 · answer #3 · answered by Jon and Nichole 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's special. Children are special!! It is a sad thing if a couple decides to break up over a child. No child should be blamed for it when they didn't ask to enter the world!
2006-08-10 05:10:32 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it all depends on the couple and there relationship before they have the baby and while the women is pregnant. i think that child does make a relationship better because you are tied to your partner by that child. but i also know that some couples have a child to save there relationship
2006-08-10 05:33:35 · answer #5 · answered by june 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a child is the purpose of marriage..it makes a home complete..gives the couple a learning experience in rearing the child to become a good person..it should make a relationship and not break it.
2006-08-10 05:10:50 · answer #6 · answered by love_miel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depends on the couple and the relationship. If the relationship is already on the rocks, a child isn't going to help it, it's only going to make it worse.
2006-08-10 05:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
the birth of a child is supposed to be a special time for both partners but if either partner has feelings of jealousy for the child or resent then it will probably break the relationship as long as you both love your child though dont worry about it and have fun and enjoy your new bundle of joy
2006-08-10 05:51:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Neither. I feel if the relationship is strong a child will make it stronger but if the relationship is in trouble then a child may finish it off.
2006-08-10 07:14:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
a baby will make you want to be together for the childs sake but the stress of it will pull you apart if you're not in a good relationship in the first place, as for bringing a bad relationship back together NO WAY
2006-08-10 05:10:44 · answer #10 · answered by klm 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋