I am 23 and my spouse is 26.We're both recovering addicts,but he suffered an overdose before getting clean.Currently he can't walk;however his doctors expect a full recovery within a year.He is also on emotion-altering medications,to help him physically function.We've had our ups and downs before,as most married couples do,but I still love him with all my heart.Before this overdose we were spouses,lovers,and I consider most importantly,best friends.Now he is emotionally aloof and relying on others for the support for which he ought reach to out to his wife. With out my permission,a few of his family members moved in with us.My husbands words are nolonger his, they sound rehearsed like he's repeating something he's heard.When I questioned him on his drastic personaliy change, he responded with,"I don't love you more than I love anyone else in my family.The old me is gone, get over it."I don't know if it's the med's or family influence talking,or if he really has become this aloof?
2006-08-09
21:41:18
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11 answers
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asked by
Cutelilthing831
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in
Family & Relationships
➔ Marriage & Divorce
You both need to speak with a professional who can help you to work it out, it sounds as though you still really want this man and you have spent a lot of time and energy on this relationship, ask him to help you out and see somebody, maybe his answer will surprise you. If not then you will know for sure that you have tried everything you can and start afresh with someone else who needs you and that you need.
2006-08-09 21:53:41
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answer #1
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answered by debra 2
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I think that this is much more complex and challenging than anyone on the Internet could help you with. You don't have just psychological issues at work here there are legal issues too.
You should see a lawyer about the family moving in without your permission. This doesn't sound right at all and, perhaps, you could force them to leave. Being alone with your husband could possibly be the best way to find out if the two of you have a chance.
You need to see a counselor of some kind to figure out how you feel about your husband now. You also need someone to talk to about all these issues that are swirling around you.
This is absolutely not going to be an easy problem to work with and you need the best advice you can get before you make any decisions.
I'll be praying for you and I hope that this works out in the best way possible for you.
2006-08-09 21:54:15
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answer #2
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answered by Ellen J 7
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As a person well versed in living with someone on brain altering medication, I can tell you he isn't the same person you knew before. I would suggest he's numb, and will not be the same until he's off the meds. Addicts of any chemical lose their joy in things such as day to day life, sunsets, smelling roses, etc. It takes a while to get that back. If he's never truly left brain altering medication, then he's not the same person! My advice? Separate yourself from the situation. Until he realizes what's up, nothing you do or say will matter to him, he won't feel or know it. It's time for you to take care of yourself!
2006-08-09 21:55:28
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answer #3
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answered by Anonymous
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Your husband has changed and he sounds as if he is afraid of losing the bond y'all once shared. As a recovering addict you should know the first step to recovery is admitting. your husband has to accept and admit that he has changed.
He questions whether you willl get tired of his ups and downs or wil you abandon him.
Medication hasn't kept him from making decisions. Why in the hell is people living there creating an uncomfortability for you?
You stated yourself that the medication that he taking is one that alters the emotions so you should expect this changes and outbursts.
I commend you on being dedicated. Sounds like your house is a zoo. No disrespect. Don't let them people jeopardize your recovery.
Self preservation without hesitation.
2006-08-09 21:58:51
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answer #4
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answered by nubianbx 2
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Dear, you have a rough road ahead of you. First, tell the other family members to move out. This is yours and hubby's, not theirs. They can't just move in without your permission. If they won't, evict them or contact your landlord about it. Also, tell his doctor what is happening. The drugs might be responsible for his behavior change. Second, get into counseling, marriage and personal. You might want to contact a lawyer about this whole situation. It's possible that his family may blame you for his condition. You may also want to consider joining Narcotic Anonymous. They're a great support group for recovering addicts. Good luck, dear, you're going to need it.
2006-08-09 22:26:26
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answer #5
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answered by sacredmud 4
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I know its awfully bad to be in a position of yours. I am from india, i would like to suggest something 4 u 2 try out. I dont know from your question to which country u belong to. But as an indian i know the importance of a family hence am trying to reply ur question. I would like u to try a website caleed as www.sahajayoga.org . Its a place where we learn to be our ownself. A place where we learn to enjoy our own company. A place where we can help others toenjoy themselves and in the process enjo each others company. I am practicing it myself for the last 5 years and would like you to try it once. Its basically a 3 step meditation technique which u can practice at ur place. The first and foremost benefitthat you will receive out of it is that during the first experience will find peace inside you. Rest is all 4 u to try. May god grant you the wish that you desire so deeply now.
Regards,
Vishal
2006-08-09 22:20:45
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answer #6
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answered by Vishal S 1
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Who was your husband before you were addicts. If you were both addicts before and when you were married you are going to see a different person when he is completely recovered. If you married him before drugs etc... You will be getting back the one you married. Which one do you want? Addict wont be coming back.
2006-08-09 21:50:24
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answer #7
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answered by Mit 4
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sound to me he still loves you and doesn't think he deserves you, or wants to know you love him still.....he is going thru an emotinal roller coaster in his mind of self pity, depression and uselessness.....be patient when he walks again he'll not forget you were there for him
2006-08-09 21:52:19
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answer #8
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answered by imhogwilde 2
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Get out now and live your life.
2006-08-09 22:25:00
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answer #9
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answered by acid tongue 7
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wow i hope yall both stay clean
2006-08-11 18:33:39
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answer #10
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answered by Anonymous
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