Falling out of Love?

Question

I'm not attracted to my wife anymore and we are always disagreeing. I have four beutiful children and have the most respect for her while she stays home and raises them. Seems like what ever I do for her or say to her, it's never enough. I don't care if she goes out with her girlfriends to dinner and a movie while I say home with the kids. It seem like I'm bustng my a** trying to make her happy.

Answer 1

What are you disagreeing about? Sounds like she is unhappy too...If you are still in the military that is very rough on a marriage. You need to get the lines of communication going...you got married for a reason and all marriages go through there rough times. Some worse than others, "Remember for better or for worse?", but you two have 4 kids together and you need to work it out. Seek counseling to get at the root of the issues you are having...Sounds like there are some issues that aren't being resolved therefore you all are fighting all the time. It's not healthy especially for the kids and because of the kids you both need to work harder at being a married couple.

Maybe you all need to get out together, like have a date night...to get those romantic feelings back. When was the last time you two did that together? Quality time together is very important, otherwise you lose that connection you once had together. Exhaust all your options before you throw that towel in...all relationships take work, the grass is not greener on the other side...because that relationship will take work too!

Answer 2

If you really want your family together I would get marriage counseling. Otherwise you won't make it somewhere along the line there has been a disconnect and resentment is building up. Four kids is a lot of work, the family needs to be organized and share the work load. Have schedules written down. Make special dates with your wife. It's hard to say though because I have heard of so many women that once they have children they shut the man out like he is supposed to fend for himself. They forget that they are supposed to be IN Love with the husband and love the children. Good luck!

Answer 3

Communication is key here at this stage. I can't stress that enough. It sounds like she's resentful of something. Does she feel like she's being held back from something she wants to accomplish in life? Is she just stressed out and tired from being home all day, raising the kids. Is she bored with her routine? Are you always gone, leaving her to handle everything? At any rate, you need to find out what it is before giving up completely. Remember, there are kids involved here should you decide to divorce. You shouldn't have to feel like you're busting your *** just trying to make her happy because her definition of "happiness" may not be the same as yours. Again, communication is so important here. I wish you luck.

Answer 4

She needs to get a job and get out of the house. Sadly, boredom has set in. Talk to her and see if you can put some spark back into your marriage.

But, she definitely needs to have some interest outside of the house and kids. She is bored and you don't want her hitting on the UPS guy when he comes knocking.

Spend some time "dating" her and wooing her. You will be surprised to see what a little positive attention can do for your marriage.

Answer 5

Maybe she needs to get out and get a job herself. Staying home with kids is really tough. Don't think about it as falling out of love, times are just really tough right now for both of you and some changes would do you both good. She may not be feeling so good about herself which will come out as unhappiness towards you. Been there, done that. See if she wants to get a job, go to school, something just for her.

Answer 6

Try to spend more time with her otherwise your marriage will be over or you'll be unhappy for the rest of your life ...