I often find that my husband is lying to me, I found out by checking his mobile phone, emails etc...things like he went out with his friends to some club, he met some girl he knew from the internet, etc. The proofs are SMS, call history, Emails.......But when I confronted him,,he never want to confess!!!! It's making me nuts!!! I mean its okay really if he wants to go out with his friends or making new friends with anybody...I just dont want him to lie to me
2006-08-09 20:58:59 · 18 answers · asked by Fed_up_by_u 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
SMS is text msgs
2006-08-09 21:09:26 · update #1
Have him followed,and take pictures to prove it !
2006-08-09 21:03:19 · answer #1 · answered by bluebyou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are beautiful, and believe me you are not the only one going thru deception right now. He'll never confess cos HE'S A MAN. He probably did it to get the excitement back in his life. I know exactly how you feel. Have you had a heart to heart talk with him. I did what you did, go through his mobile, emails but I also called some of his friends, and the guys would like confront him and ask him if he had problems with his marriage and the best part was I called the person he was secretive about. and yes, all hell broke lose. But it was a sense of relief for me cos by then you knew he was lying to you all this while. But do be prepared for the worst. AND BE STRONG.
2006-08-10 04:41:01 · answer #2 · answered by Shari E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why do you think he's lying? Is it because he's cheating or wanting to cheat? Is he going through a change of life? Could he be unhappy? There are so many factors in a mans mind that simply do not make sense to a female.
Lies are the biggest and most effective way to end a relationship because from now on no matter what he tells you you won't believe him. Trust is not in play anymore and you can see where this is leading. Ask him straight out, what, do you want out or what is going on? I don't trust you and I don't believe you and it will take a long long time to regain both. Now you will need to prove everything to me.....he obviously doesn't want you to know everything..beats me...
Good luck, you have a long road ahead of you I'm afraid.
2006-08-10 04:05:42 · answer #3 · answered by teddybearloverus 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Meeting a girl he knew from the internet? Hell, you already have the proof. Of course he will lie, a lot of men are not man enough to admit the truth when confronted. Tell him not to play you for a fool. You have the right to ask him to be open with you, afterall you're his wife for goodness sakes. I don't understand some of the comments above who said to give him space. Give him space for what? To fool around and lie some more? If you ignore this issue, it will only send him a message that it's okay for him to continue what he's doing and what he's doing is lying to you. If it's okay with you for him to meet other people, tell him so...in that way he doesn't feel threatened into BS'ing his way into it. You sound like a nice girl. Don't put up with this immature behavior of his.
2006-08-10 04:49:45 · answer #4 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds from your narrative that it his behavior has already crossed the line of acceptable behavior for a spouse. The on-line meeting, coupled with consistent deception, is a pretty serious matter in a marriage. Making it worse, if not putting it irreversibly on a course of marriage destruction, is the fact that he knows he's caught, he knows you are aware of his deception, he he still does it. He chooses on his own to put everything with you in jeopardy. I think that you're at a point where the survival of your marriage may need 'third party intervention' - a marriage counselor or some sort of professional help to work with you and him both. But he would have to be a willing participant and not stone wall that too. It's getting to the point that his confession isn't important anymore, because what you already know is sufficient and overwhemingly convincing about what's going on.
2006-08-10 04:15:33 · answer #5 · answered by nothing 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi - I have recently had a similiar problem with my boyfriend. It had been going on for months and I got all my evidence together and then just came out with it. He continued to lie to me and became so serious that I did end it and he was distraught. We managed to sit down and have a serious conversation about our relationship with how much he'd lied or not told me about in the past and my meaning to say its over did make him see what he'd been doing by not telling me things and lying was wrong. We are trying to get our relationship back on track but due to the lying, it will take a long time before I trust him again
2006-08-10 04:13:29 · answer #6 · answered by blushing_bird 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people just need privacy and space to do his own thing. Self preservation thing. He just want to do things he used to enjoy. He wants to be himself again indirectly he will find his ways on how he used to love u. Many a times, man can differentiate love and sex. To out source, he might just looking for some excitement, but the most important is he will come back..,. if you keep it cool and give some space. By trying to make him admit, it will only turn him off and frustrated. It will only lead to one thing which is divorce with a reason you do not understand him anymore but want him to be what you want him to be. WHICH IS ANOTHER U! If you want another you so much then why did you marry him?
2006-08-10 04:22:09 · answer #7 · answered by Chelle_michie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
“I am ashamed of confessing that I have nothing to confess.”
If you have the evidence why do you need the confession? Stop confronting him and loose interest that will take away his importance for secrecy. Its a power struggle. If you take away his ability to lie to you ...you take away his power. Then talk on equal ground (not confrontational) about the issues between you. Not what he is doing but the real issues between you.
2006-08-10 04:15:48 · answer #8 · answered by JReb_67 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Practice and learn not to be too bossy and demanding , avoid nagging and asking lots of questions for your own benefit and happy life , these things will leads to a man to be more arrogant and in the end you will be a big looser , there will be no charm & happiness in your life if you will continue bothering him , specially while he is having his meal or resting near you . Allow him to live like a normal human , rest choice is yours , wheather you want to lead a happy , full of fun and charmig life or want to live in depression . Better live and let him live a happy & joyful life .
2006-08-10 04:09:06 · answer #9 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok someone who is reading this...tell me what SMS is...I'm slow. But I would just tell him excactly what you told us. Tell him that you won't be mad, you don't want to pry in his business but he is making you because he's being untruthful. Catch him in a lie. I couldn't tell you how. Maybe other folks have better ideas. Now what's SMS???
2006-08-10 04:05:24 · answer #10 · answered by heatherlynnmorrow 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
why don't you just get a divorce, you are a very beautiful woman I am quite sure you would have no problem finding yourself a really nice man that would be honest to you, I know I would if I had the chance, don't waste your time on trying to get him to say something that you already know, what's the point? just walk away, the sooner you do that the happier you will be
2006-08-10 04:04:42 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋