Does any other younger wife/mother have this problem?

Question

I am 28 and married to a 41 year old man for 5 years now. We have a son who is 2 1/2 and I am a stay-at-home mom with a good sized house to take care of. I know I am a little overboard on keeping the house clean and organized but nothing like Bree on Desperate Housewives. I would love to hire a cleaning service but it's not in the budget.

So my problem, I am so wrapped up in taking care of my son, the house and our family that I have no sex drive. I am also on the pill and a type 1 diabetic. My husband could have sex practically everyday (some days he is just too worn out from work or exercise). He loves having oral sex performed on him a couple or few times a week and if he has peformed it on me I am always willing. But I honestly don't want it that often with everything going on in my life. I have gotten to a point where it's a chore unless I am in the mood (which is rare). Does anyone else have this issue and can anyone offer some advice? I love him and want us to be happy.

Answer 1

I think everyone experiences this, actually--generally speaking, women don't always need sex the way men do. That's a very broad statement, but for many people it's true.

Particularly when you are wrapped up in being a mother, your hormones are all directed in a different place. But your sex drive is connected to other areas of your life, too---do you have a hobby or outlet that keeps you feeling energized? Are you isolated by being with your son all day, and bored of cleaning the house?

I'm a stay at home mom as well, and we just moved to a new area where I haven't developed the friendships and activities I might have had before, and our sex life started to decline--I didn't notice the connection until we visited back home, and being around people close to me all the time was so renewing and energizing, that the sex came back, too.

Make sure you have something in your life that is fulfilling you, besides your family and home. Take some lessons or get a part time job, or get back in touch with friends you may have lost contact with. Join a playgroup with your son, or read more. Whatever makes you feel better about yourself will make you feel better about sex.

Answer 2

I am also 28, been married for 5 years, have a a 3 year old and a nearly 4 year old. (i had my kids 10 months apart) i work 3 days a week, keep my house clean and look after my kids and understand the pressure you are under. Trying to co-ordinate all these aspects of your life and then still feel "in the mood" is hard work and can take a long time to get this routine to run smoothly. but it will. In the last year i have finally learnt how to cope with all the stress and demands. I have finally moved on from feeling swamped and this has led to the return of my sex drive. Let your husband know that things will get better in bed... but also remind him that his pressuring will only delay it. good luck.. xx

Answer 3

There are probably a few things going on. First, you are tired and when you are tired you don't have the time for sex. Second, your child is taking a lot of energy from you everyday and probably requiring a lot of your emotional energy meaning you don't have the need or desire for the emotional or touch from your husband.

A cleaning person is probably a good idea. Maybe you can find someone to help 1 or 2 times per month and explain to your husband that it will help your relationship too.

Do you have family around? If yes, use them to give you a break from your son. Boys in particular have a lot of energy so it will be a nice break for you.

Finally, set up special date nights for you and your hubby. He'll appreciate it and you will also.

Answer 4

You need to talk with your husband and then perhaps see a counselor. A young child can be exhausting and so can running around all day cleaning and taking care of the child. You two need to resolve this and come to some kind of understanding. Like I said, you may need professional counseling if this cannot be resolved to the satisfaction of BOTH of you! By the way, some of the other answers are JUST PLAIN ditzy, and I suspect given by children or nut cases. YOU NEED TO TALK WITH YOUR HUSBAND and come to an understanding. Sex is a two-way street like everything else. And to the person who told you to have your husband get it elsewhere, pay no attention to that idiot!

Answer 5

Just about every married woman with children and a full time job to boot! Tell him how you are feeling and why and tell him you would enjoy it a lot more if he could settle for certain days of the week...then you could prepare and plan for those "dates" and perhaps he would just settle for a little hand stimulation in between which is not that much of a problem as you drift off into slumberland.

Answer 6

seems such as you need to get a number of of Dr Phil books, you have 3 years to learn them. life recommendations may well be a solid one at the beginning. Your inlaws and your spouse are enjoying you like a puppet on a string. overlook approximately any advise comments your spouse made earlier she left, they're basically anger and frustration and have not have been given any touching on you in any respect. Your parents decide on you to leave her? hahahah... its problematic sufficient getting one spouse, what are you meant to circulate with the aid of all that **** returned? See in case you may restoration the domicile up so there are separate residing factors for all of you, spend it sluggish at Ikea no count number if it is not conceivable to locate yet another domicile right this moment away. If she does not come again, in case you do the artwork on your self (like contained in the dr phil e book) you will no longer care and could be chuffed besides! solid success

Answer 7

Yes it happens a lot. You can talk to your gynecologist about it, maybe your hormones are out of whack, thats the first thing to try. After that its about being put in the mood and that gets harder for a lot of women after a while. Check with the dr first, especially since you are diabetic.

Answer 8

Petunia! YOU need a REALLLY big break!! FOR GET the Blow-Jobs!! keep your house CLEAN!!!! and take care of the kid`` or GET him in a day care...... Tell the Hubby to GET OVER IT!! The B.J;s are VERY SPECIAL Occasions!! IF he loves you! He will help with the kid.... and Just make DO!! That is how it is!

Answer 9

decreases in sexual interest particularly in women is quite common and it's about how you're feeling and what's going on. try getting into each other emotionally and pleasure each other in a none sexual way. that will get the juices flowing. good luck

Answer 10

Allow him to get it somewhere else. Just sex no feelings involved.