Why does it my boyfriend see it as a pressure on him when....?
I tell him that I am afraid of loosing him if he goes to work abroad? He said he hasn't got the job yet and I already see it as a problem. He got upset with me because he thinks I want to influence his decision but that's not the case. I just worry about loosing him? Why do men see it so differently? He said that he regrets he told me all about it. I feel bad now. I never meant to come across as a selfish girlfriend but I wanted to find out if he actually considers me? He said I pressure him about it? I am 28. He is 26. We are both living in Europe in 2 different countries already. He would like to go to New York City just to work for a while to see how it is there like. I live alone in my country, he lives in his.. we visit each other once a month.Nothing is for sure but I have noticed that he talks about it a lot. He got angry with me last night for telling him that I worry about loosing him. What should I do now?
2006-08-09 19:12:09 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
If you love something, let it go. If it returns, it is yours. If it does not return, it was never yours.
2006-08-09 19:16:39 · answer #1 · answered by frazzled over halloween 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is normal for you to have this feeling. He should understand. However you should drop verbalizing it and let come what may. You have no choice. Be strong! If he truly love you and sincerely cares things will turn out for the best.
On the other hand you cannot devote yourself entirely to him. Love should be fun and fulfilling. The fact that it doesn't bother him to go moving all around may have a message within it self. And for him to become angry at you for expressing your fears is also disturbing.
Make it your business to have a life without him. After all he's hardly around and now will be around even less.
There is something about him seemingly satisfied in seeing you only once a month that don't seem quite right as well.
2006-08-09 19:28:31 · answer #2 · answered by Robere 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Either way it's a no win situation for you. If you hold him back, he will forever resent you...if you let him go, you may or may not lose him. But what I think you should be asking yourself is this. Is this the kind of man I want to end up with? Someone who might always be moving around and who just expects me to pick up and follow him everywhere he goes?
Some women are very happy to live thier lives following thier husbands around like that....some might hate it...but you are putting pressure on him at this point and that isn't good either as he has to pursue what he thinks is right for himself too.
I think if you stick with him, you need accept all these factors that go along with who he is. You need to focus on making a life for yourself as it seems you have a lot of spare time in between the times you see him now. At least you will have something to fall back on if you end up separating. Good luck.
2006-08-09 19:23:31 · answer #3 · answered by Sue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, you can't live your life around another person. If he loves you, he'll be true to you. If he cares, he'll come back or arrange some way for you two to be together. But just keep this in mind. He is just a man. Life will go on, with or without him. And if he goes and he doesn't come back to you, then maybe he just wasn't in your life's plan. Some people are in our lives for a reason, some for a season and some for a lifetime. But they all touch you in a way and you are never the same again. Peace and Blessings!!
2006-08-09 19:27:23 · answer #4 · answered by taraleighsg 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The quote goes: "if you love someone, set them free, if they come back, it was meant to be"
I think you may need to consider this in your relationship. It is unfortunate that you are feeling so insecure, but if you two are the real thing, distance will not change anything, it will just mean you will have to work a little harder. Trust me when i say, freaking out before a decision is even made is one of the worst things you can do. He will view this a s sign of things to come and start looking for the exit sign!!
Good Luck!!
2006-08-09 19:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by O Jam 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
actual he seems to like to play video games and those every physique isn't your acquaintances as acquaintances does not do this to you and for him to apply those human beings words purposely isn't marvelous the two. each little thing happens for a reason-in line with risk issues are no longer meant to artwork out. If he cared he does not be bothered besides. appears like he needs to push you away no matter what you do.
2016-12-14 03:39:23 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well most men do not want a girlfriend that is going to act like there mother.. just let him fly and do what he wants it is not like he is yours.. he is not yours until the day you are married.. and besides one time a month seeing each other it is not going to work out forever that way.
2006-08-09 19:20:45 · answer #7 · answered by ~Mrs.C 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if he is not a seriouse commitment let him go but if your seriouse yo have rights and if he can not respect your feelings then ask your self is this some one i whant to be with but it sounds like he is just as confused as you give him a chance to think and give your self the same it sounds like you have a few desisions to make mabe you can go with him what ever steps you take be at peace and listen to your inner self
2006-08-09 19:19:02 · answer #8 · answered by sailor 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that you're sorry that he's leaving but you know it's for the best (it is after all, isn't it?) ...if he loves you the way he should, he won't let you go because of seperation. you have to let him go, he needs to do what's best for him, it could be the job of a lifetime! so let him go the places he belongs, and you won't loose him if it's right and if he loves you the way he should
2006-08-09 19:17:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
if you really love him, you should be happy for him
he thinks you are being selffish, did you ever think about what he wants?
who says you will lose him? writing, email, phone, and you visit each other, jsu t everytime you visit, take the relationship one step further until it is where you want it to be
2006-08-09 19:17:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him live his life. You are acting needy. Most men do not like that.
2006-08-09 19:16:49 · answer #11 · answered by John D 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋