I am tired of the situation, yet the idea of moving out gives me a headache. How do I let go?
2006-08-09 17:07:15 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Either one gives you a headache, which one gives you the migraine? Go to an Al-Anon meeting (for family of alchoholics) and get some support from others in the same boat you're in. It might help your situation.
2006-08-09 17:14:35 · answer #1 · answered by Geez Louise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take two aspirin and pack! Come on it gives you a headache? Thats the worst excuse I ever heard and you know better! Seriously though physically walking out the door is the hardest part but it just gets better from there, I've done it twice and I know how hard it is but I can honestly say that now I don't even remember that moment, just how much better it was to be gone! You can do this, you are probably depressed over the situation and thats one reason its hard to get going but that will lift as soon as you aren't dealing with this crap anymore. Imagine vividly and in detail what you want your life to be, all the headches he causes you and focus on that keep that picture in your head the whole way out the door, give yourself something to be excited about and go get it! Good luck!
2006-08-09 18:51:13 · answer #2 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should be responsible for this situation , still there is a time you can correct him ,by love and affection , do not fight , no hot arguments , cook good food , feed him by becoming an good host , no complaints while eating , allow him to sit in the house for proper drinking , one peg should take minimum 30 minutes , give him some thing to munch , sit with him talk to him , ask about his past life , encourage him to talk , be a good listner , in time you will surprise he will certainly start looking towards you without any hesitation , then there will be no lying also , rest is upto you .
2006-08-09 17:21:57 · answer #3 · answered by your noon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh boy. It didn't take long for the AlAnon agenda to surface here. I went to several AlAnon meetings. What I saw there was a bunch of enablers who had adopted their mate's alcoholism as "their problem" instead of finding some way to motivate the alky into quitting.
Don't screw aroound with this. Tell him that he quits drinking today or you are going and then stick to it. Stay gone as long as he continues to be a drunk. If, at the end of 6 months, he's still a drunk, divorce him and take 50% of his net worth.
Or, you can spend several years going to AlAnon meetings, listening to the others boo-hoo over how crappy life is. In the end, he will still be a drunk and you will have spent all that time and energy going to meetings.
In the end, it's their problem. They've got to fix it. If they choose not to, you should bail.
2006-08-09 19:29:37 · answer #4 · answered by homelessharold 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hello I am a recovering alcoholic, sober for five years , was a horrible wife to a wonderful man , messed around ,drank all the time , but I did work everyday. It took me years to get it together and i have ,with dry-out ,2 and a half years of intensive therapy lost my licenses , so I had to have a someone to drive me . but anyways my husband put up with alot and finally one day I moved out and continued to drink for a year. the next thing I know my husband had filed for a divorce, I freaked i didnt know what to do by this timei had been sober for one month, I did every thing i could to keep my husband and yes we are still married 11 yrs, and have been together for 18yrs. I guess what I am trying to say dear is you need to show him your serious and leave but don't forget about him if he is sober then talk , and if he has had even a couple of sips then stay away from him , and now for the big one (HE HAS TO WANT TO QUIT AND GET HELP FOR HIMSELF YOU CAN,T DO IT FOR HIM HE HAS TO MAKE HIS OWN APPOINTMENTS.) and you need to find a ALA -NON MEETING AND USE IT WORK THE PROGRAM FOR YOUR OWN SANITY AND WELL BEING. and go on with your life you need to leave and take care of #1 you.
2006-08-09 18:48:40 · answer #5 · answered by bonnie j 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave! Headaches are temporary, and you might save the alcoholic by letting go. Otherwise, you remain part of the problem. Good luck!
2006-08-09 18:56:40 · answer #6 · answered by Cub6265 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does someone need to hit you up side the head? How much punishment do you need ? Take a deep breath, stand up straight and get the hell out.
2006-08-09 17:27:10 · answer #7 · answered by yooper guy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to an alanon meeting it will change your life!!!! You will find people who understand what you are going through. Cuz they have walked a mile in your shoes!!!!- 1-888-4alanon. they have meetings on the computer ,too !
2006-08-09 17:17:05 · answer #8 · answered by hillbilly wife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can only leave. I have never heard of any other options working.
2006-08-09 17:14:01 · answer #9 · answered by 3 Card 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
there are two ways
1. leave him
2. try to understand his problem and help him get out of it
2006-08-09 18:30:06 · answer #10 · answered by HOT M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋