This is similar to a question I asked a while ago, but this situation is a little more sensitive.
If you were happily married but had a coworker who was very flirtatious how would you handle it? I'm not talking about a little innocent flirting, but consistently forwardly hitting on you.
I dont want to hurt her feelings but it has gotten to the point where I sometimes don't even want to go to work, and even worse - it's causing fights with my wife because she wants me to be down right mean to this girl.
2006-08-09 15:45:26 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
It's not as easy as just telling her to stop. I have told her countless times.
I really don't want to report her either - we are in the military and it would have more serious repercussions than in the civilian world.
Which essentialy means that I have to be mean to her. But I have the hardest time doing that to girls/women. I cannot stand to see females in any kind of pain. It melts my heart...
So I'm kind of stuck
2006-08-10 10:48:12 · update #1
I'm afraid your wife is right. You may just have to be rude and tell the girl outright that you're not interested and that she's starting to cause problems in your home life.
Sometimes the truth hurts.
2006-08-09 15:52:36 · answer #1 · answered by Lighthawk Demon 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your wife is right. Why don't you want to hurt this woman's feelings? Are you encouraging this? If it's causing fights at home, it's time to get down and dirty with the girl. It's way past time to call a halt. If she still persists, let her know that you are filing on her for sexual harassment and tell your boss. Letting your wife handle it would definitely work, but this is something you should handle yourself, if for no other reason than to prove to your wife that she means more to you than anything or anyone else. If she has to take care of the problem, which she would, swiftly and brutally, there would always be that question in her mind as to why you didn't.
2006-08-09 16:05:46 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I disagree that this is something your wife should do.
If you are serious, you can stop the flirtatious behaviour in a heartbeat. Just go tell her you don't want her to do that, that is is offensive to you and is disrespectful to your marraige. Tell her you are happily married and that you want her to respect that. Then tell her that if she continues then you will have no choice but to report her behaviour as harrassment.
How hard is it to tell her that?
I think some guys secretly enjoy the flirtatious behaviour -- and while they say they want it to stop, they don't do anything to stop it.
I am of the opinion that you may be like that. You say you can't be mean to this girl (by doing what you wife wants). I don't know what your wife wants you to do -- but if you continue to do nothing....then you are being down right mean to your wife -- through your passiveness about something that is truly offensive and serious.
You can stop this tomorrow.
Are you going to?????
2006-08-09 15:58:08 · answer #3 · answered by BShakey 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you have tried telling her before nicely, then it seems to me its not helping to be nice to her. You just have to tell yourself that if Im not getting through to her the nice way I cant be nice anymore. Just plain out tell her I do not like you. I am happily married, and I do not want you doing what your doing anymore and then tell her that if she doesnt stop that you will talk to your boss about her continuous sexual harrassment. And then you also tell her that your not only hurting yourself by doing this but that she is hurting your marriage as well. and then if she doesnt stop after that. Maybe you will have to look over your job and think about whether or not your job is more important than your wife. Good Luck.
2006-08-09 16:08:59 · answer #4 · answered by lil_frosty93654 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just tell the girl to cut it out. You're at work to make money not friends. In the end you come home to your wife and it's her that you should worry about and her feelings.
2006-08-09 16:15:32 · answer #5 · answered by miramira 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think if you are married, be different and dont give in to the temptation. Stay married and remember why you married the women you did and how much you love her. Tell the co worker that its inappropriate( dont worry about not being cool to her, who cares what she thinks...)if she doesn't let up go to management. BE STRONG.
2006-08-09 15:53:33 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that happened to me and being a guy its kinda weird ... but i finally reported her to management as sexually harrassing me. i asked her politely to stop several times over a period of a couple of months and she would still come out of nowhere and hug me or try to hang around and talk to me ... being nice didnt work so i reported her .... people kinda looked down on it but i just explained hey, ya know, people see this girl hanging all over me and assume we have somthing going on and its having an unwanted affect on my image with coworkers and the threat of it getting to my girlfriend of the time. . . ask her to please stop and ur serious ... if it dont work then report it as sexual harrassment.
2006-08-09 15:56:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do not talk to that girl at all. If she says hi reply but if she says how u doing, do not reply.
Ignore her, do not even look at her at all.
U do not have to hurt her feelings but I think you really have to ignore her totally.
And Allah knows better.
Thank you.
2006-08-09 15:54:22 · answer #8 · answered by Russian S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunni, let your wife take care of it. trust me, my old man had a few chicks flirting with him, well after i spoke to them they no longer even look his way. the power of a jealous wife works wonders. good luck
2006-08-09 15:51:05 · answer #9 · answered by ROCKER CHICK 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just laugh at her and walk away
2006-08-12 22:33:28 · answer #10 · answered by watcher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋