Whats The Point Of getting Married????

Question

It seems to me that today, the original nuclear family doesnt exist anymore!!! I feel like Im the only one out of my large group of firends whos parents are still together. Id sure love to get married, but if I get married, I want to STAY married, no matter what, but what the hell is the point of putting your trust in someone, giving them your heart and soul and vowing to spend the rest of your life with them thru thick and thin, rich or poor, sick or healthy when 2 years down the road you find out you have "differences" in which you cannot get passed. Or you're married for 14 years, you have 3 beautiful children, and you find out your spouse has been cheatin on you with a younger person for the better part of your marriage? Or you "grew apart" You split up, and your kids see you with another man/woman and your spouse with someone else. My dream looks like it can be crushed waaaaaaaaaaaaaay before it even gets a chance to begin?? What do ya'll think about marriage?

Answer 1

Marriage is a commitment and an investment, I have been married for 14 years now an still faith full, I'm not a religious freak or near that, but I did pay attention on the kind of person I wanted to invest my time and life with.I did date a lot and had very honest relationships before committing to one person, I did like the looks of my wife, but also look for other things I wanted in a partner, for example cleaniness,no overspending etc. you can't be happy with a filty good looking person or with someone who spends all savings etc. I wanted to find someone who appreciated similar things, is not all perfect but I have a better life than most of my friends and family that rush into marriage, to be happy you have to reach your goals in life and be with someone who is happy and has reach their goals etc. or at least are working on it.communication is the key to succces for a marriage ask and talk about things before marriage, for example who will do laundry, do you like doing laundry, who will cook, who will take care of children, how many children, do you want to work, who will work, do you snore, how loud, all thi little things many people say are not important, but yet when they separate talk about them and make them a key reason for the break up.

Answer 2

One thing about marriage is you cannot start it with a pessimistic attitude. In other words, if you beleive it is doomed to fail right from the start, it probably will fail.

Another good thing is compromise. You are 2 different people, and will always remain so, with different likes and dislikes. Trying to change each other will only cause problems.

I think the 2 Best pieces of advice I was ever given were these.....forgive each other, no matter what. And......never go to bed angry at each other.

The beginning of a marriage is all the 'honeymoon' stage, and it may seem that things seem to slide downhill after that, but really, the two of you are growing in other ways as well. Marriages are full of ups and downs, but definitely worth the effort.

It is definitely something to consider, though, that you not set yourself up for heartbreak. If a guy you know is cheating around on all his girls and then wants to get with you, i'm sure he'll promise he'd never cheat around on you. He will.

Also, I would look for a guy with a fairly strong work ethic. If he lays around watching tv all day, it's a sure bet that you'll be the one supporting your family.

Marriage is absolutely wonderful! You just need to keep your eyes open first. The right guy for you is out there, just have Faith!

Answer 3

Me too! I share your thinking. If a couple decided to get married. They should stick with each other thru thick or thin. Every problems will have their solutions. Just that, both must sit down and clamly discuss their problems openly and be truthful to each other. But easier said than done. Some are born to lie, no matter what, they like to lie! The advice is, get married is ok, but don't have kids too early..At least once, you stay with him for a few years, found out his true inner self, then decide whether can you two last and then think about having children. If not, getting a divorce, it's just between you and him and won't involve and hurt the little innocent ones...

Answer 4

Sometimes, letting go seems like the easiest thing to do. But think about this: you've invested so much of your time and energy into another person; you've made a solemn promise; and you still know there's love, even if it's hiding underneath the surface. This website will show you how to save a marriage and avoid divorce, even if you're the only one trying https://tr.im/Hh72O

Answer 5

For me the point was that I saw that my boyfriend and I could either negotiate most of our problems out or just agree to disagree. After being together for 3 years I saw the way we made our relationship more important than our issues. For us, it's OK to go to bed mad. We don't have to work out everything. How can we. We are to different people.
We made a rule, The NO wins. If we can't agree on something then we don't do it. No one should be forced into anything. If he wants a motorcycle and I say NO then he needs to find something else that will make him happy. If I want to have a baby and he does not then NOPE. He should not be forced into fatherhood if he does not want to. And so on. With this rule, a lot of battles are avoided.
You need to make the relationship more important than the motorcycle or the baby.
Also, you need to decied that there are going to be things that you absolutely would not put up with BUT you will because you gotta take a little bad to get that great man or woman.
My hubby does no chores. Just won't. My hairdresser asked me how I can put up with that. I fought it for a long time and then I realized that he is such a responsible and reliable man, that there are many things about him that are wonderful and chores are just not going to be one of them. My choice. I'll take it becasue HE LOVES ME. That's what I want most. To be loved, and he loves me to the ends of the earth. Yehaw!
By the way, we just celebrated our 25th anniversary.

Answer 6

I think it's alot like loving someone...it's a chance you take and if it pans out...you win the big prize. If it doesn't, well, you have to decide if you're willing to try again..now armed with (hopefully) better decision making skills...or say "no thanks..been there, done that".

Marriage is what you put into it. You do your homework, up front, you have all the discussions about the important things BEFORE you get married..and make sure you're on the same page...THEN you get married. If you're both committed and you both put effort into it...then you've got a pretty good shot at it.

Answer 7

It's just a matter of being very careful and selective in your partner. Even though you can't always predict what will happen down the road, it doesn't make sense for you to be so cynical at this point in your life. Every marriage has their ups and downs, and no marriage is perfect. In choosing a spouse, look for someone you can't live without, and never expect them to be any more (or less) than who they are. Good luck.

Answer 8

I think you hit the nail on the head. That's exactly what's happening, society is breaking down. It's not like it used to be in the 50's, when everyone stayed married, women got to stay home with their children and didn't have to go out into the workforce. Men back then actually supported their families. Times were simpler. We need to go back to that mindset.
Back then they just made the adjustments they had to, to make that marriage work. Kids weren't bounced back and forth between families.

Answer 9

Point taken.
Which explains why people fall out of love sometimes. Sad but true. Time goes by... people change.
Probably reason also why most people choose to live together not get married. I do think it's every individual's prerogative whether they choose to walk down the matrimonial path or otherwise.
Although that does not mean you should get all bitter about this & shut yourself out from the possibility of fallin' in love though... it's possible to have a love that lasts but you need to be realistic 'bout it too.

Answer 10

Well, I am in a common-law relationship now. We have been together for four years and are in our late 30's and have no plans to have kids.

Personally, I feel no great need to get married, but it's not out of fear of getting divorced, it's because for all intents and purposes we are legally married anyway.

Neither of us have ever been married before (but have both had previous serious long-term relationships, and he has kids from his, I have none).

I think that getting married is a personal decision between a couple. You can't do it or not do it out of fear. Fear of judgment from others, or fear that it will fail somewhere down the line. Anything could happen. Follow your heart today. Don't live with regrets.