or should I say why is mine? I just want to feel important to him, we fight about it all the time, and tonight he told me that his friends are "important to him". He said that because I never go with him to see his friends. Well I'm sorry if I am not one to sit around and drink til I'm drunk. I'm a responsible adult. It's time he stepped up and grew up all he wants to do is party and he is 30 something. What are you're comments people? NO STUPID KID COMMENTS EITHER
2006-08-09 15:18:34 · 13 answers · asked by lk 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Well it seems as though he is having a difficult time letting go of his adolescence. This could be brought on by his way of defying the fact that he is growing older. Most males are through with this in their twenties. So apparently he is still battling this issue. However, this doesn't mean that your not important to him. Its more along the lines of him still wanting to fill young and dumb.
If you care for him then you need to discuss this issue with him. If he is not willing to compromise or give any indication that he cares enough for you to miss out on hanging out with his friends from time to time, then you need to move on. You shouldn't waste your precious time with someone who doesn't appreciate you or attempt to make you happy. We all deserve happiness and if he wants to be happy with his friends, then let him. You need to be concerned with your future and if you don't see him in it, now is the time for action.
When it comes down to it either looking at it religiously or evolutionary, you are supposed to be his partner in life. Not his friends. If he doesn't seem to grasp this notion, then he is seriously mistaken. Don't settle for less. You only live once and you might as well make it worthwhile.
2006-08-09 15:38:00 · answer #1 · answered by mstang 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's a time warp thing...one or the other seems to grow up, or just naturally takes more responsibility than the other.
Sometimes I wonder if that's what attracts us to them in the first place..those little boy (or girl) qualities. We think..how cute..how refreshing. Then, time goes by, and suddenly it's not that cute anymore.
If you're married to a child, then you need to ask yourself if you want to stay married to a child. Chances are, if he's over 30 and hasn't grown up...the odds are not in favor of him suddenly becoming responsible and grown up.
You can't ask him to chose between you and his friends. It shouldn't be even an issue...if we're talking once a week, hanging with his buddies...and otherwise, he's a great guy, a good husband, works steady and (if you have kids) is a fabulous dad...then you need to step back and take a deep breath. You may need to set a boundary that if he's drinking, he doesn't drive..because his getting in a wreck while drunk would impact you.
However, if he's drinking with his buddies several nights a week, misses work or doesn't work, isn't a good husband and father, and is a real twit....you really need to question why you're still there.
2006-08-09 15:34:07 · answer #2 · answered by Kaia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stick with why is yours..lol.Seriously though,it seems like your both growing into different directions.He hasn't grown up yet and you have realized that your an adult and have to live like one,at least some of the times.Your ready to settle down and start a life together,while he is having more fun being a kid and living like he has no responsibilities.Maybe this is your wake up call,to get out BEFORE things get further along.And just maybe if he realizes that he might lose you,for real,he will wake up himself and make a commitment and realize how short life is and that he needs to love you and GROW UP!!Good luck and I truly hope things work out the way that you really want it too.
2006-08-09 15:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. If that isn't inconsiderate or disrespectful, then I don't know what is. Obviously, he doesn't care about you the way you would. Over his friends too huh? That's a drag. If I were you, I wouldn't be sitting around any longer just waiting for his drunk **** to start caring about me; however, if you can, first just try and talk it out with him if you haven't done so already. If that doesn't work, then ditch him. Besides, maybe after you leave him he'll start shaping up cause some men don't know what they've got until it's gone.
2006-08-09 15:32:14 · answer #4 · answered by sweetzmk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay, first of all men live by the 'bros before hoes' motto. Trying to split him up from his friends will end up with you being a very responsible single adult! You should be happy that he wants you to know his friends better, most guys try to keep their girlfriends far away from guy night. If his friends like you then they'll stand behind you if things get really serious and you want your man to start making decisions about his future. Hang out with your guy and his buds sometimes and get him out of you hair to chill with your friends the rest of the time. You can't change a man. You either love him and his many flaws or you don't. Thirty is young, go out and have fun!
2006-08-09 15:30:15 · answer #5 · answered by Gal on a Jet Plane 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-01 21:13:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
men are jerks sometimes and if he's 30 and not ready to grow up maybe you should look for someone else. There really are some mature guys out there, you just might have to wait until he finds you. If his friends are more important to him than you then you probably deserve better anyway. not all guys are jerks like that trust me.
2006-08-09 15:25:55 · answer #7 · answered by rlsangel18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is way too old to be acting this way. You should be his number 1 priority. Do you have children together? If you try to talk to him and he won't listen then what are your options really? He isn't respecting you. He isn't caring about how you feel. Maybe it is time to move on. I hope this helps.
2006-08-09 15:26:05 · answer #8 · answered by Jules 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like the two of you don't have the same interests. If you can't find something that you both enjoy and can share, it may be time to consider going your separate ways.
2006-08-09 15:24:18 · answer #9 · answered by ♥dream_angel♥ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has made it clear what he wants to do: he wants to party with his friends. He is actually refreshingly honest about it. You are under no obligation to accompany him and he is under no obligation to spend time with you instead of them. Complaining about it will do you no good whatsoever. If you don't like how he is, move on.
2006-08-09 15:31:21 · answer #10 · answered by Bethany 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋