Who is overreacting in this situation?

Question

I recently mailed home a letter to my upcoming students. I added in there that "I am your Special Education Teacher" this year. It was a very informal letter with just some information saying that I created a website/homepage for them...etc....

I got an e-mail from a parent saying that it was harsh that it had "special education teacher" in there. Her son ripped it up. He feels already bad being special ed. and kids can make him feel bad...and so on...

I mailed it home specifically so I wouldn't have to do it in the beginning of the school year, which is a directive from our school. My students are in sixth grade (ages 11-13) and kids can be harsh. Am I overreacting in this case or is it just an overprotective parent voicing her opinion?

The kids have 5 "regular education teachers" and several teachers for their special subjects (gym, health, music, computers, art, foreign language). That's why I added the "special ed." part.

Answer 1

Assuming that they will also have other teachers, you really had no choice but to add the extra "special education" to the letter. If you are indeed the one and only teacher they will have, I can somewhat see how they would take it personally, though you were simply stating a fact. Just remember that only one family responded negatively to your letter. Chin up and realize that you are doing a good job helping these children. And try not to hold it against this child for his parents reaction. My mom is also a Special Ed teacher and she catches grief a lot from parents. It is a hard job and I commend you for what you do.

Answer 2

I don't think it was insensitive of you. Your letter would be misleading if you didn't specify your role in your student's education. For those who call you anal and tell you that you should know better- how silly. The kid obviously knows he's labeled. If this is the first time he's had you, then it's necessary to specifiy. However, next time if you plan to address the students themselves and not their parents in the letter, I would just drop the "special" and say "teacher." It'll be a lot easier to handle a parent who's mad that you didn't say you were the special ed teacher in the letter than the other way around. If I were you, I'd email/call the parent with a sincere apology to both her and her son so as to get back on the right track with them. I'd also ask if there was a term she'd prefer be used and ask her in a way that makes her feel like you genuinly want her input. Would Exceptionalities teacher work? What about just EC?

Answer 3

It's sad but I think it's all in how it's been presented to the child since the beginning of his identification of special ed status. He obviously has some self image issues that maybe you can help him with if you get a chance. I mean, even "gifted" students have special education teachers. It's all relative. I don't think it's a case of anyone over reacting. I think it's a case of the parent will always want to protect the child. The teacher didn't do anything technically wrong. The student just interpreted an innocent letter in a way that hurt because he is hypersensitive to it. If the energy is now expended toward helping the student not have an attitude about it, everyone will be well-served. Try to work with the parent on this if you are able. And then with the student. Maybe since you have a web page for them, one of the first topics you could address on there is the fact that everyone just learns differently -- and that doesn't make anybody better than anybody else or make any one method right or wrong. But most kids are able to squeak by in the mainstream, one-method learning classes. Not everyone can and they end up in so-called (and possibly poorly named) special ed. I might learn better if you show me. You might learn better if I show you and tell you. Someone else might learn better if he just reads about it. Someone else might need to have the material presented to him over and over again. But, it's all good as long as we learn something in the end.

Answer 4

It's neither.
Both of you are looking out for the best interest of the student/child.
It's hard to be a Teacher of those with Special Needs Academically as well as Physically but you can't sugar coat what it is you do. What you need to remember is that you are there for the education of this student.

As for the other kids making fun of him there really isn't much you can do but to correct them when you witness the event.

One thing we do in our school is have the School Psychologist go to each room when students are gone to the Special Ed. Classroom, Resource Room (whatever you call it) to explain to the other students that some people learn at different rates and that they go to a classroom that helps them those classes that they need help in. She/he will answer questions about what the classes are for (in terms of age appropriate answers). We have had little of the other students being harsh to those who go to Special Ed. rooms. Hope this helps.

Answer 5

Maybe a parent or student overreacted, but maybe if you could use some other way to identify yourself - the room number, or something like that....if you stay with your class all the time like some special ed teachers do, just say "I will be your teacher this year and my name is such-and-such" or something like that. The age group can be a rough one, and those kids are easily offended and maybe the parent can overreact to that, too. Hope this is helpful. You can always send an apology like "I'm sorry if my wording has offended you, and appreciate your opinion and I will change it before sending the letter out again. Thanks for your help!" That would smooth it over, I'd think.

Answer 6

You are reading too much into it. Special ed kids put an incredible strain on parents. The kids don't want to be different than all the others, so the parents watch their children suffer due to the stigma attached to it. Your are the special ed teacher, but to him you are just a teacher

Answer 7

You are a special education teacher. I don't see what else the parents wanted you to put in there. It's not like you have a program for gifted students. I think they're just being too sensitive. The parents gotta blame someone.

Answer 8

It sounds like an over-protective parent to me. If you are a Special
Ed teacher there is nothing wrong with calling yourself that.
Yes,kids can be mean to each other and I'm not discounting it,
but unfortunately it's part of school life. If this kid is going ballistic
over the letter you've described,it sounds like he's over-sensitive
or has a temper problem. It doesn't sound like you were harsh to me.

Answer 9

The way you asked your last question - "Am I overreacting in this case or is it just an overprotective parent voicing her opinion?" - GUARANTEES you the answer you want. IT'S THE SAME ANSWER EITHER WAY.

Now, here's what happened.... The parent is right, you were wrong to use that phrasing in this context and in this way. It was unnecessary for you to do so, and you should have known better if you actually are a special ed teacher.

Answer 10

I got kids and I know they can be very sensitive, but in this case I think the parent is overreacting. The kid will be angry at whatever reminds him of that "situation" and his parents should teach him to manage his anger and accept the actual situation and working toward making it better. If making you the scapegoat is the only thing they can do to help their son they have a lot to learn themselves. But I'm sure your next letter will not mention the "dirty words", and that's ok, sometimes it's just better to avoid needless confrontations. You didn't do anything wrong in my opinion.