I don't know what it is. Maybe it is because my father yelled at me so much as a kid. Maybe it is because I grew up in a bad neighborhood and had so many bad experiences. Maybe it is because in school I was constantly teased and ridiculed by other students because of my shyness. But whatever the reson I just have a hard time talking to people. I am even afraid to be around because I am afraid they will say things to me. And I never know what to say when someone asks me if I want to do something and I do not want to do it. I do not want to say know because I know it hurt their feelings, so I usually just make something up and end up making a fool of myself. This happens a lot since I am attending a small historically black institution and the presence of so few students means it is more likely that someone will ask me something like that. And it does happen all the time, and I keep embarassing myself. It is making me hate my college and ruining my self esteem. What is wrong with me?
2006-08-09 14:46:24 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Other - Society & Culture
Remember that while you're not better than anybody, nobody is better than you. That's important. While speaking to people, imagine that they are thinking well of you. Think of all of the good things about yourself.
Your uneasiness comes from your self-consciousness, so sometimes maybe you should stop thinking of yourself, and think about the other person.
2006-08-09 14:52:16 · answer #1 · answered by LaCosaMasBella 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand where you're coming from. It sucks being shy sometimes (at least as a girl, it's a little easier for you. For me as a guy, I'm expected to approach the girls, but it hasn't worked well for me lately).
I'd suggest trying to find alternate ways to express your feelings. It's a little cliche and stereotypical, but writing is often a good way for a shy person to express themselves. I'm sure you writing about this wasn't too easy, but you probably feel a little better now, and know that you're not alone in this. There are many "shy" people around the world.
Also, don't worry too much about what others think of you. If you're the "nerdy type" for example, be proud of your intellect. And just remember, Bill Gates was a nerd too, and look where he is (usually, the geeks and nerds are the ones who make the big bucks later on, while all those "popular" kids usually end up doing menial jobs).
To be more assertive, I'd say find out what your interests are, and try to find people around your area that have similiar interests, and hang out with them. If you can't (don't worry, you're not alone again on this), then look on the internet. There are many different kinds of people, some good, some bad. But you will probably meet some who may very well become a best friend to you.
While college is a good place to start meeting new people, don't worry too much if you don't find many people who seem to share common interests with you there. You can probably find them on the internet again (but again, be careful, cause there are a lot of "bad" people out there too).
It will take a while, but you can overcome your shyness with patience, perserverance, and a willingness to overcome it (which isn't easy, and I've still got a long way to go myself, but I'm more confident and assertive now than I was a few years ago).
If you need any other help, then you may want to talk to a professional psychiatrist. They may be able to help you overcome it if you don't feel you can do it yourself.
Good luck :)
2006-08-09 14:58:02 · answer #2 · answered by komodo_gold 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It used to be then i just started being direct because I realized people will not give you an honest answer most of the time if your not direct. It's like when you ask " how r u? " Most of the time you get an auto response when you wanted a meaningful one. You can blend what your used to with more directness by saying to them " Can I ask what's wrong? " If they don't want to discuss it then you left them an out but if they need an ear they will use it. I don't think it's unusual at all. Quite considerate actually. Hope this helps.
2016-03-27 05:57:56 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing id wrong with u
i hope not cuz im kinna like that too
i try and talk to guys in person
but i cant look at them or ill get wierd
esp if hes hot
anyways
no nothings wrong with u
i think its just cause of the people you hang out with
i know thats why im like that
i go to an all girls school
and i get all wierd around guys
dont worry u will get married
just try and get over it
and talk to them
just kinna pretend ur not like that
i do that and it works
2006-08-09 14:52:38 · answer #4 · answered by Amanda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why worry?
You won't be able to get a word in edgewise after you get married either!
Sorry, I just had to get that one out...
Don't worry about your shyness. Lots of guys like it.
Someday you'll meet the right guy. Just quit worrying about it.
2006-08-09 14:49:40 · answer #5 · answered by J.D. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Erica, you are too sensitive and the only way to fix any kind of sensitivity is to become desensitized. Good Luck!
2006-08-09 14:51:06 · answer #6 · answered by The Prince 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try forming a thought before you speak.
2006-08-09 14:50:07 · answer #7 · answered by normobrian 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am really really shy and see nothing wrong with you. Wanna just get married?
2006-08-09 14:52:28 · answer #8 · answered by Ronnie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to build up your self-confidence, and self-esteem...
2006-08-09 14:50:54 · answer #9 · answered by duck_kreeves 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋