What do you say to your friend who just found out her boyfriend is STILL married?!!?

Question

my friend just called me five minutes ago crying telling me that her boyfriend of about 6 months was lying to her all along. he says he was divorced with 2 kids. she called his cellphone earlier and his wife picks up the phone!!!! both of them talk and she learns that the guy is still married and living with the wife.. what should i tell her to make her feel better? HELP

Answer 1

That is just wrong. First of all, we were just friends. I do not know where she got it into her head that we were boyfriend-girlfriend. I should have known something was up, when I would go to check out a movie, and she would "coincendentally" show up at the same movie, at the same time, make me pay for her ticket, and then ask me if I could buy her dinner becuase she was starving. Then there were all of those times that she would look at me like she was lacking air and I would have to give her mouth to mouth for hours at a time. I am sure I made clear to her that I was happily married, but of course that was that time I twisted my ankle and she was helping me walk. She must have thought I said "happily carried." I guess I need to speak up when I talk.

Answer 2

after six months it is strange wife answers cell, for first time.. and what is boyfriend saying? apparantly boyfriend has no intention of leaving home... so you can only advise your friend..to make herself scarce. a wife and two children.. makes for a crowded relationship. your friend has to be told to do.. the smart, healthy. right thing and let boyfriend..go. it has been six months..but i am sure the wife has invested more time than that. nothing will make her feel better.. only time or a new guy can do that. however, remind her, that she deserves better... that there are more fish in the sea, that the children are top priority over her needs..as well as the wife ..and the good news is, that she now knows that he is not worth her time.. even if they got together eventually, he would end up cheating on her as well.

Answer 3

That's a tough situation. He's a rat and she's better
off without him. It'll hurt for a while, but the ****** isn't
worth a tear. I feel bad for his wife.

Be careful about getting in relationships with people
you don't know well. She's not the first person to get
fooled. I was the wife with the two kids until I divorced
the cheater. It hurts everybody involved, except the guy!

Since becoming single, I have been "hit on" by numerous
married men. Ouch! I know better and deserve better
than that! So does your friend.

I guess you can let her read the answers to help her to feel
better. :)

Answer 4

To be honest there is not alot you can say to her to make her feel better right about now. It is something she will have to work through. The best thing you can do for here right now is be there for her when she needs you. This might just be to talk, go to a movie, maybe shopping or even just a little sympathetic man bashing (no offense to the good guys out there). Encourage her to stop seeing him if she hasn't already and step aside after that so she can go with her emotions... she will be hurting for a while and there will be day's when she will need you more than anything... so play it by ear for now. Best wishes.

Answer 5

Tell her to dump the guy. After six months of lying, it's obvious that he is not serious with her and is just playing along. That's what he deserves for hurting your friend.

Better yet, disguise and tell the wife. So that guy will not only receive your friend's anger, but also his wife's wrath.

Only then will she feel better.

Answer 6

Good, if its been 4 years, why have not they divorced but? And he fairly will have to have informed you, instead of waiting a year. If its rather that harmless, then it shouldn't have been a trouble in the first location. Hiding it from you just appears unhealthy. Do not depart him just seeing that of that, but just take it to coronary heart. Make it identified that he wants to finish the wedding correct now, considering its improper to still be concerned like that. Also, she will rip him off for any cash that he has considering they've stayed married goodbye, so i hope you are prepared for that.

Answer 7

ALL you can do is to be there for her and to listen to her.Her heart is broken and she needs your friendship,more than ever.NEVER say I told you so or I knew it.Being there is the best thing you can do.Also,when she asks,and she will,let her know that she will find someone better,with time.And that a married man is NOT worth her breathe.Especially,a married man,who started the relationship(that he shouldn't have)off with a lie.I sure hope his wife divorces his sorry a$$ !!!A so called "man"doesn't deserve any woman.Good luck and she is lucky to have a friend like you who cares like you do.

Answer 8

At least she and the wife got to talk. Thank goodness the bastard got caught. Maybe the wife will straighten him out.

All you can really do is be there for moral support and maybe try to distract her. Rent a movie maybe. Not much else you can really do right now other than just a good listener.

Answer 9

Your friend's situation sound similar to what my friend might eventually go through,lol. Anyway, there really isn't anything you can tell your friend other than move on. Of course she deserves ALOT better. Other than that this was a learning experience.

Answer 10

Time will heal and lessen the pain. Just make sure you are there with a welcome shoulder because your friend will need it. Tell her to get rid of that equal oppertunities man $lut. And then get her to tell the wife. That will get him where it hurts. What a horrible thing for this guy to do to your mate