ok me and my husband have been married 9 years and together 14 years. we have 4 kids and it seems like we cant stand each other. we avoid eachother at all cost and dont speak unless we are fighting. i want some lovin but dont know if going elsewhere is wrong. i mean i know its wrong but is it understandable.we havent slept together in almost a year and i miss him. i have told him but his attitude is like oh well. am i stupid to think he is cheating? or do i want an excuse for what may be to come for me if things dont change.
2006-08-09 14:09:57 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It's hard to tell what the problem is with you and your husband. I would guess stress from the family situation.
Somehow you have grown apart - maybe due to your responsibilities as parents, maybe due to job, maybe due to money, who knows?
No one should have to live in those conditions. Fighting is not a good way to communicate. Somehow you and your husband need to start actually talking to each other. You may find common ground and work to get the marriage fixed. You may find you don't like each other and separate. Either way, you need to move from the stalemate you are now in.
Is he cheating? He could be. Men who are not happy in their marriage often cheat. Women also cheat when they are unhappy in their marriage. It isn't right to cheat, but some do anyway. Find some way to get communication going. You can ask him what he wants to do about the situation (and if he is cheating) then. Don't be surprised if he wants out.
2006-08-09 14:20:52 · answer #1 · answered by physandchemteach 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
1st of all......don't cheat, if you really feel that it has come to that point, you might as well do things right and get a divorce first.
2nd, try this first.........Be super nice to him, cook his favorite foods, give him a few surprises.......give yourself a make over and start dressing sexy in the evening even though you don't go out.......If you start having an argument, let him when........do this for about 2 weeks. If he doesn't come around by then......then simply tell him that you need some space and time, and move out to your mothers' or a friends place. Maybe he is just taking you for granted. A little time apart may be good for the both of you. He may not know what he is loosing until it's gone.........If after all that, he still doesn't come around.......then start talking to a divorce lawyer.
2006-08-09 14:29:24 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can see why you have not had sex in almost a year Four kids man you are a busy woman. Have you tried date night. or Maybe leaving sexy notes where only he will find them. I know it's hard to go from being mommy to being a wife. It may also be a good idea to try councelling. I don't think cheating is the answer. Try to fix what wrong with your marriage. 14 yrs is a long time to just give up.
2006-08-09 14:22:24 · answer #3 · answered by jagbeeton 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
With many years of marriage,and 4 kids,comes problems.Bill add up,daily siuations,no time together,etc.etc.BUT there is hope..You just have to work together and communicate.But both of you need to want this.Make it work.Marriage is very rewarding and worth everything that you put into it.IF you think he is cheating or or doesn't want to be together,then you need to either make a go of it or let him go.Do NOT drag him into an adultress situation.IF you want to cheat,leave him first.How would you feel if he cheated on you??Not good,huh?You need to communicate with your hubby and rekindle what got you together in the first place.get a sitter,dim the lights,put on some music and candles,and claim your husband and your marriage.It's very important to spend time as a family(you,your hubby,and the kids)and it's just as important to spend time together as a couple.Without a happy marriage/intimate relationship,we suffer as parents to our kids.Don't give up so easy.Rekindle the love and passion!!!Good luck:)
2006-08-09 15:04:33 · answer #4 · answered by missyandgordon 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry to hear your relationship is so distant with your spouse. I understand your frustration, but going outside the marriage is not the solution. It only complicates matters further. Have you looked into marriage counseling? Now is he going outside the marriage?...you need to either ask him or look for signs which indicate he just might be.
2006-08-09 14:34:49 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Before you do anything you might regret FIND out what the problem is from his point of view then go from there with your decision.Make sure he knows what you want/need and make the time right!
2006-08-09 14:19:14 · answer #6 · answered by Daniel H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
then leave --- file for divorce
2006-08-09 14:56:06 · answer #7 · answered by jaimestar64cross 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he maybe cheatting,ask-spy,if he is leave.
2006-08-09 14:20:37 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋