my husband's ex-wife moved in across the road from us?

Question

here's the problem... i'd love to move BUT, i have a fantastic house with everything i could possibly ever want in a home! we could sell and move... but i KNOW we would be getting a LOT less house than what we have for the amount we pay on this every month... i want to be the bigger person... but the kids make this hard- CONSTANTLY running back and forth, and the ex-wife ALWAYS on her porch looking directly at my house. i don't even use the front door any more. i try to live in my back yard... i hate to give up my luxury and move into something i wouldn't be completely satisfied with... WHAT WOULD YOU DO?

she and my husband have been divorced for 7 years. she remarried the same year i married my husband, 3 years ago. we do NOT get along in ANY WAY. my husband and i are raising THEIR children ages 17 & 14. i think she moved here to drive me crazy but SHE says she's always loved the house she bought across from us...

Answer 1

What you should do is the total opposite of what you're doing now. She's the ex-wife not you! There is no reason you should be running scared!
Don't give moving another minutes' thought. I can tell you love your home. You do not have to hide in your backyard. If she wants to waste her life sitting on her porch watching you. Let her and you might as well show her how it's done.
You straighten your shoulders and go back to living your life exactly the way you did before the witch moved in next door. When she annoys you, kill her with kindness. Make it clear to your kids the differences between her house and your home. Life is too short to let a person who you don't even like manipulate your decisions.
Do what makes you feel comfortable. Once Ms. X sees that she can't intimidate you. She'll back down. This not about being the bigger person. Though you clearly are. This about control. YOU ARE IN CONTROL. And she knows it. Do you?
That's why she moved in across the street. So she can keep a eye on you. So use you front door. Don't become unglued. That's what she wants. Don't fall into step with her plan. Make plans of your own.
Wave to her as you come and go. Be happy. That'll stick in her craw. Act oblivious to all the little things she does to annoy you. It will drive her crazy! Let her come around if you can somach it. Find out what her techniques are and flip the script.
Still as good as I think this advice is, you're in for a long haul. If you need to vent look up my email address. Don't distress it gets easier dealing with ex's the longer you know them.
It might help if you make up some kind of mantra you can repeat yourself to keep you from going postal on her a**. Like "No worries. Creme always rises to the top." ( I do this with my in-laws. I won't tell you what my mantra is, but It really works.) Well, most of the time. A good blow up once or twice a year is normal even healthy. Good luck and God bless.

Answer 2

Why on earth! This woman is sick in the head! Seriously now, she did this on purpose. Of all the places she could've move, she moved there right across from your house. If you love your current luxury and moving is not an option then live your life like you normally did before she ever stepped foot in your neighborhood. Do you actually want this woman to have control of your life? From what you described it's starting to look like that. That is exactly what she wants. Just go about your business like you normally did. It's probably going to feel a little uncomfortable at first but you have to get used to it.
P.S. What does your hubby think of the situation?
Bottom line, do not show this woman that it affects you. If she actually causes trouble for you, you can always call the police on her.

Answer 3

Grow up! You knew your husband had an ex before you married him, what did you expect, she and his children would just vanish. When you married him you took on the responsibility to raise his children too. If you wanted a "Leave it to Beaver" type family you shouldn't have married a divorced man with kids. I think it should be mandatory that every divorce couple live within walking distance of each other so the kids can see their bio mom and dad when ever they want.

Answer 4

Hmmm... I think you have heard the saying that having "More friends than have any enemies to alway good"? Hmmm you can always talk to her, and bake cookies together. Get to know her. Of course if you too are already enemies. Then i suggest just try to meants the hold. Cause if you going to live there for the next 3 months or more, is always good to leave a good impression.

Cheers!

Answer 5

Haha that sounds like my parents neighbors. They got divorced he built a house for his ex-wife across the street and then got married again and then built a house right next to the house that him and his ex-wife used to live. So now he owns 3 houses that are all across the street from one another it's too funny!!

Answer 6

I would proudly use my front door at all times. If she wants a show I would give her one. Make sure you and hubby are all romantic every time you go in and out of the house. Let her see the good bye kisses! Let her see you arm in arm leaving together and coming home all lovey. He probably never acted like that with her!

Answer 7

I can understand your frustration, quick question how long have her and your hubby been divorced also is she married? Do you and her get along? You should not move, but I guess I am wondering why she moved so closea and what does your hubby think? Do not keep hiding in your backyard, pretend she isn't there keep living your life as normal, try not to let her know it's getting to you.

Answer 8

Sadly, this IS a real problem, but unless you are willing to hire a hit man, an arsonist, or move yourself; there really is no solution. I suggest that you try your best to forget she's there(Certainly it ain't gonna work)or at least to ignore her. Don't speak to her, and don't allow the kids to go to her home She's there to bother you, and her ex. The more it bothers you, the better she'll feel. Do your best to NOT show she's bothering you. Good luck.

Answer 9

Texting lets you control the tone and establish what kind of conversation you want to have. Learn here https://tr.im/WQ7MW
This is probably the most important part. With texting, you can stop and think about what you want to say to your ex at each step of the way. Instead of reacting emotionally, you can take your time, figure out the right thing to say (I’ll give you most of it), and be strategic with your ex without saying something that you’ll regret.

Answer 10

Dont let that B*tch win!! You stay in your house and you don't even think about moving!! she did it to P*ss you off, and if you move she knows she has one!! use your front door pretend it dosn't bover you!! don't loose this battle.............if worst comes to worst you could always burn her house down...but then she might rebuild it there again....or run her down when she crosses the road...maybe thats a bit harsh, but she started it!!