what is the best way to persuade a "father" to waive his parental rights?

Question

he has not seen his (MY!!) daughter in 2 years, left the state (w/o notifying the court), then appeared last week, claiming his undying love for my daughter. she is almost 8 years old and did not even recognize him. he has (say's not anymore....don't believe him) a bad drug/alcohol problem. he is homeless and in financial dire straights. he's also in back arrerages......but i don't want his money. i do not want to treat my daughter like chattel, but he is not appropriate to be around her. i am offering him money to waive his parental rights, but he won't hear of it. we have exhausted the court system. it is not in her best interested to be with him unsupervised....i fear for her safety. any ideas how i can persuade him to sign and take the money? i am being very nice to him and have told him he can still see her, but she cannot be alone with him. i live in USA. thanks all. i am just a mother trying to protect my child.

i know this! i have fought for almost 5 years for supervised visitations! i am a CASA/GAL myself, and it does not help in my case.....i need help persuading him...i am famaliar with the court system.

excuse me idiot alfred.....we were in our mid 30's when she was born....italian goons? i'm 100% italian....WTF are you talking about?

SANDRA...it's SOLE custody....i am sole /residential custodian....all he has is standard visitations.

i did tell him he will no longer be responsible for future child support....arrerages cannot be waived....hell, i'd pay them myself just to get him to sign....

just because i have sole custody does not mean i can deny a court order....i refused to send her 4 years ago and was sentenced to 90 days in jail! he is still entitled to his unsupervised visitation via the COURT.

Answer 1

Wow....your situation sounds so similar to mine, it's incredible. I think the biggest problem you face is that your ex likes to be in control. Offering him money to sign off....I tried it too..and all it did was make him dig his heels in further. The trick is to make him think it is his idea. Think back to when you used to be together...you are going to have to grit your teeth, and do a little butt kissing. But, as long as you know that your daughter is the real reason, you should be able to get through it without throwing up. :)
And...as far as I know, no contact with the child for two years or more is considered abandonment, and you can have his rights terminated...which means you don't need his permission. Have you tried that?
Or maybe, reporting him to the court for his arreages....a couple of nights in jail might persuade him. Good luck...I know it can be really difficult. Especially on the kids...funny, isn't that who the court is supposed to protect? If only people knew what really goes on...

Answer 2

All you can do is what you are doing, don't let him see her alone and write down every visit and what happens. I would also report him for non payment of support because that would put him in jail and he would be away for a while. Substance abusers are so selfish that he will never relinquish his rights, he even may be doing it because he knows it bothers you. Grin bear it and don't let on anymore and he will be gone in a couple of months. Believe me I understand my son's have the a substance abuse father. I wouldn't allow unsupervised visits and had him and his girlfriend over for Sunday dinners and did all family functions on his side of the family with them. I was lucky though we weren't married so I have sole custody so I didn't go after any support so he has no rights.
Good luck and stay strong. I am sure if you are civil to him when he comes and don't let it show that he is under your skin he will be gone. Also as she gets older if he does stick around make sure she knows she isn't responsible for him. I have a friend who's father is like that and he guilt's him into money and a place to stay and always causes problems.

Also because i had sole custody I could leave the state without asking him which I did. I know it is hard and I will keep you in my prayers.

Answer 3

if you have sole custody of your child you don't have to leave your daughter alone with him. also, if it becomes a major issue: check with the courts but i think your daughter is old enough to say yea or nay as to whether or not she sees him. he seems to be controlling. DO NOT by any means give that man money. once he sees that you're not going to back down he'll back off. stand firm and keep up with the legal end of it. keep going back until the courts do something.

Answer 4

Since he appeared last week it is impossible for you to have exhausted all legal avenues. The court system just doesn't work that fast. Let the girl go with him. Then call social services.

Answer 5

go file first at the courts and file for SOUL custody if he asks for visitations say you want supervised visits since your daughter doesn't know him and when they grant you all that for the rest of her life they will have to be supervised and in order for him to have any unsupervised visits he will have to go and file and pay to get the decision reversed and if he doesn't show up to court you will win Soul custody of her and he will NOT have rights to her.

Answer 6

I agree with you but the courts feel that a lousy father is better than no father
he needs to pay back support or go to jail
you need to go to court to get him supervised by someone You know visitation


I've been there.. done it.. nothing you can do to stop his seeing her ..LEGALLY

Answer 7

Tell him if he waives parental rights, he doesn't pay child support. You should not have to pay him, that's what he wants.

Answer 8

sucks to be stupid when you're young. My recommendation would be goons; preferably italian ones.

Answer 9

Buy him a six pack . Worked for my ex.

Answer 10

i can believe he didn't take the money and run. i like hippies idea the best