Should i leave for good?

Question

I HAD JUST GRADUATED COLLEGE AND ENTERED MED SCHOOL WHEN WE MET, I was single for a while when i took a chance with him... i put my career on hold when he asked that we start a family, i have a two yr old with him and a 3 month old and now.. he wants to reflect on all the things he could have done when he was young and expects me to understand, am i being selfish or should he own up to responsibility and take care of the family he asked for? by the way he is 30 years old now! and we've been together almost 5 years.

Answer 1

After he's already started a family with you, and five years down the line, it's a little late for him to be seriously thinking about pursuing what might have been. He needs to be thinking about what IS and not punish the children for his failure to sow his wild oats while he had the chance. You are not being selfish at all- HE is. He should have thought a little harder about what it was he really wanted before he passed the point of no return. Yes- sadly, I think you should go ahead and get out of the relationship before he starts "reflecting" with someone new and you end up getting hurt more than you already have by this new revelation. It sounds like he's already made his mind up. I'm really sorry this has happened to you, and I hope you move on and find someone who knows what they want out of life. Good luck!

Answer 2

It's time to grow up BabyGirl! Like YOU said, you took a "chance" on him. So you gambled your medical career on a dick and now you're stuck with his kids! I know you love your babies, as you should, but while he's being an idiot thinking about all the things HE could have done. Just remind him what a life YOU could have had as a doctor and how wonderfully your children would benefit from it today!

Leave this idiot and get ur butt back to school. You owe those kids, they didn't ask to be born. You want to give them the best? Show them how important an education is, by example.

Thank me later.
Raylene♥
P.S. What's the dilly-O, your profile says you have THREE kids, Are you just full of it, or is this one from another idiot?

Answer 3

no you are not being selfish for demanding that he takes care of the family he asked for. you should be the one reflecting back on your past and see if you made a mistake or should have done something differntly. dont get me wrong but children are a blessing but u put or life on hold for this man so my advice would be to to tell him top man up and u leave those kids with a sitter and have some fun girl!

Answer 4

He needs to step up and take responsibility, you are not being selfish in expecting an adult to act like an adult. But you--don't give up your dreams. When the kids get just a little older get back to school. It will be painful, and hard but can be done.

It won't be more painful than being 50 and looking back, peeking out from a tiny apartment, listening to the neighbors fight and saying, what if, or I should have done that or anything like that.

Go get it!!

Answer 5

You are not selfish whatsoever. Now that he has a family, he needs to GROW UP AND TAKE CARE OF HIS RESPONSIBILITIES. His children and wife should be his FIRST PRIORITY. You say, "He wants to reflect on all the things he could have done when he was young," but in my opinion that's IMMATURE. He needs to STAY HOME AND TAKE CARE OF THE FAMILY. Tell him to look into his childs' eyes and imagine what life would be like without them. You need to SET CLEAR BOUNDARIES with him. If he steps over those boundaries, leave him. Be condident in yourself! ALWAYS THINK ABOUT WHAT'S BEST FOR YOUR CHILDREN... WHAT KIND OF FATHER DO THEY DESERVE?

Answer 6

I think you should do everything you can to try to work it out with him! do it for your kids because a father is super important in a childs life and a divorce or separation affects them more than we think. If he wants to go on adventures or travel you could probrally leave the kids with the grandparents for a weekend and go with him. but he has to understand also that now he has more responsibilties than when he did 5 years and that he can't be selfish about trying to fulfilling things that he could of done when he was younger.. He still isint dead so he has the rest of his life to do all those things that he always wanted to do. Work it out the most you can. Go finish your career also that is very important. In a marriage you have to be willing to sacrfice and compromise

Answer 7

I'm confused. How did he not live up to his responsibility? Is he unemployed? What do you mean by "reflect on all the things he could have done when he was young?" Is he going to strip clubs or something? I'd really need more information. To answer your question, stay with him if you love him.

Answer 8

I'm sure there are more dynamics to the relationship but I wouldn't leave because of him reflecting on what "could have been". Having been there before, marrying young etc...I would suggest seeing a family counsilor to talk about these issues and to help him get passed this. Make sure you know you've tried everything you can before you walk away.

Answer 9

You never said if you were married or not. Shame on you for sacrificing youself for someone who is so selfish. Who cares what that he reflects on things he could have done.....what about you? You both made your bed......now you have to pay the piper. Be responsible to your decisions and look ahead........even God can't change the past!

Answer 10

I would leave no infact i would show him the door tell him that noone tied him to the bed for the last 5 years and he participated in making your two children he needs to stick around but if it were me i would rather not be with him i would rather he take to do with his children before me hard at first but you will find someone that wants to be there for YOU x x