I don't know what to do. My wife gets so pissed at me all the time.?

Question

I am stubborn, lazy, forgetfull and often incosiderate. She is prideful, quick tempered (maybe with some anger issues), impatient and kind of bossy.
In reaction to her reactions to me, I will get sarcastic and defensive- very passive aggressive kind of stuff.
This ultimately results in her getting super pissed, swearing and screaming and occaisionaly throwing stuff at me.
Now, it might be easy to say "why don't you try to change." Easier said than done. These peronality flaws I have are so apart of me that I never even realize what I am doing until after the fact, and be then its too late. Oh and she holds a grudge so my profuse apologizes typically fall upon deaf ears. I rarely get mad at her- only frustrated that she won't stop being mad at me.
I love her very much and it seems to me that we get along very well about 70% of the time. Divorce is not an option to me. We also have a 2 yr old boy who I could not live without. he has ruled out counseling- thinks its stupid.

Answer 1

You two sound like a wonderful couple. I'm sure your kid is impressed too.

Answer 2

Obviously marriage counseling would be best. The biggest thing you have to remember is you are teaching your 2 year old how to act in a relationship and you are setting him up for a lifetime of unhappiness because he will have no idea how to have a successful relationship. If your wife won't go to counseling, go without her. You say you're lazy but if you care about your son like you say you do, you will at least get into counseling yourself.

Answer 3

Your giving up on yourself and or passing the blame to say I wont change, this is who I am. So you expect her to? And when she says she wont change, then what?

You both need counceling to open up the lines of communication.

Futhermore, she seems fustrated at you as her "partner". She probably feels alone and the only person in the marriage who puts forth any effort. You know the issues already, why are you pushing yourself back to better yourself and the marriage? Afraid she will take advantage? Scared you will become vunerable? You are married, those thoughts.feelings should have left you long ago when you took your vows. Nothing will change unless you do. She needs you as her back bone and support system. I wish you the best of luck.

Answer 4

You need to stop being so childish. Once you are married, you are not a child anymore. You decided to have someone share your life. She is not your mother so stop having her act like one. She is your partner, which means you have to step up your game and become a partner. Stop acting like a slob and take care of your wife. If you help out more than you used to, you would see the yelling, screaming and throwing of things come to halt. Be there for her, she already have one child stop having her think she have two. She wants a husband not a child. Stop and think about the consequences before you act upon it. Be strong and let your wife stop thinking that marrying you was a big mistake.

Answer 5

It's a shame she won't agree to counseling. They have a way of making you see that things are really not as bad as you think they are. Plus they also show you how to work on all the problems in the marriage individually. Your best bet is marital counseling. Another recourse would be marital problem books to read. You can't change her, but you can work on yourself. That way, you will feel better about yourself in the end.

Answer 6

First off, your wife really needs to get help controlling her temper; she sounds verbally and physically abusive, which isn't healthy for you, her, and especially your son. This kind of environment is traumatizing and hazardous to everyone who must live in it. For the sake of your son, both of you absolutely need to get counseling to sort out and resolve your issues.

It's understandable how an inconsiderate spouse can set a person off. However, her reactions to your "stubborn, lazy, forgetful, and inconsiderate" behavior sound rather extreme. Both of you should get professional help immediately before this escalates to the point where someone in the family gets seriously hurt!

Answer 7

Well if divorce is not option then you need to develop some other method of voicing your feelings. I don't think your behavior is okay and its not a good environment for your son. I think you should first begin with preyer (if this part of your belief) and go from there. The behavior in the household is not accpetable in front of your son you both could be damaging him for life.

Answer 8

I used to think the smae way you do. "I know there are things wrong with me, but I can't change." I did though. It took her almost leaving to get me to wake up, but I was able. You have to want to. But, she needs to want to work at it too. These situations take 2, not 1. It isn't what can you do? It's what can the 2 of you do? Also, both of you talk to your physician. My wife used to yell like that. It's simple frustration build up. Sometimes medication can help while you learn to adjust.

Answer 9

You sound like a typical couple. Maybe you can try arguing in a more constructive way rather than screaming and being sarcastic. Good luck to you.

Answer 10

who has ruled out counseling? . . it is not stupid, it is what you NEED! whether jointly or separately . . you already recognize YOUR flaws . . work on making yourself the bigger, better person here and I am sure there will be change in her because she will feed off of the change in you . . I would go to see a therapist alone for awhile and work myself . . might be a good idea for you . . it wouldn't hurt to try and if you don't like it, stop going .......

Answer 11

Your wife already know you and you know her If she hasn't been trying to leave now i don't think she will only thing I can say is love is sweet and bitter at times its not perfect and you guys knew that coming into it. I wouldn't worry to much she know your heart and that is all that matters. Marriage is for better or worse you take her crap an she put up with yours isn't love grand!!!