My divorce is getting started, my x wants us to keep the house but he wants 20k!!! the house isn't worth it - he lied to me about the valuation, its a lot less than what hes asking!! he's playing lots of mind games with me and he thinks I'm a fool! my son loves the house, but I really can't afford it... what do you think I should do?
2006-08-09 10:52:03 · 34 answers · asked by scorpion queen 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
houses are only bricks and mortor,if you explain it to your son he will eventually understand what is for the best.what matters most of all is your sons love for you and not the house,kids are recillient,make it sound like moving is an exciting adventure and fun,
mike
2006-08-09 11:31:38 · answer #1 · answered by listener06y 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Get your own valuation. Then you will know exactly what the property is worth.
Tell your Solicitor what he is asking you to do.
How old is your son, if he is under sixteen years old,then the law says you can live in the house until your child finishes his education.If he's a cleaver kid and can go to college, you could be lucky and hold our for years.Don't be pushed into a situation you may regret by your husband.Show him your no fool!do your homework.
Always remember, property, whatever the value, always stands for collateral.Once you are rid of him, you could even get in touch with your local college who are always looking for people to house foreign students for a while,the money is good and it will help you pay the mortgage if you have one.Don't forget property is going up all the time.Twenty grand is nothing today property-wise, most people need that as a deposit, some people spend more than that on a wedding.Think very carefully before you give it up your home,don't be bloodgeoned verbally into doing what your husband wants.
Speak to your Solicitor he will be able to advise you of your position, as it's very difficult to tell you what to do without knowing all the circumstances of the breakdown of your marriage.
If push comes to shove, you can always sell the house to the Building Society on the arrangement that you can live there for the rest of your life if necessary,and you could even be given some money as well this you can put away for a rainy day. There are always other options other than selling the house and moving out. If your son is happy there it will be less stressful for him when the divorce is finalised to be in familiar surroundings and with the friends he has made whilst living there.
Don't make the mistake I did once did and let your home go until your ready. Good luck anyway.
2006-08-11 00:36:05 · answer #2 · answered by animalwatch 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford it, then move out. It may be fun. To move, start over new, turn over a new page in your life. Make it into a fun experience... maybe tell him that with the money you will save from moving... he can buy a new video game system or new toys.
I know it is sad to leave but don't burden yourself financially. It sounds like you have already been through so much with the divorce. Finding a cheaper place will be one less thing to worry about.
2006-08-09 10:57:28 · answer #3 · answered by Kitty 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My family and I are fixing to move.I know its not the same situation..We are moving because of my wifes job..EVen though your son likes the house,you cant just stay because of that. Its not easy moving..Its a job,but you have to do whats best for you and your family. If its not worth it and you can find something cheaper,that puts more money in your pocket... If it were I,,and I knew the house wasnt worth what he's asking,then I would move.Find a nice cozy house and neighborhood for you and your son so you will both be happy.
2006-08-09 11:01:05 · answer #4 · answered by JEFF G 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sell the house, split the money and buy another house. Your son will adjust. Best not to start out on your own in debt. You can get a smaller house just for the two of you. Things will work out, don't worry.
2006-08-09 12:11:50 · answer #5 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
get three valuations.
see for yourself what it is being valued at before you make any more decisions.
Then see a financial advisor to find out if you can comfortably afford to buy out your ex.
But think hard about it - yes it would be easier than selling the house, your son loves it, you wouldn't have to find a new one etc but do you want a fresh start?
Good luck,
2006-08-09 21:28:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to court and and have him sign the house over to your son and you. have him pay child support and alimony to you, and also have him pay for 1/2 of the house payments if the house is not paid for. GO BACK TO COURT. they have people there to help you with the paper work. Plus don't sign any papers that he gives you with out having a third party see them first.
2006-08-09 11:09:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are u in UK? Is your son under 18? Your ex has to keep you housed - maybe not that one if its very exoensive but he has to pay for a roof over your heads? Don't you have a solivitor yet? Get one a.s.a.p! Your ex is having a laugh!
2006-08-09 14:44:28 · answer #8 · answered by Jackie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you can't afford it then there is no choice, move! You can't make decisions based on what your son will like or not. Do what you want and need to do for the both of you!! DO NOT BELIEVE ANYTHING YOUR HUSBAND SAYS!
2006-08-09 10:56:24 · answer #9 · answered by wishiwereatthebeach 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
the house costs $20k or he wants you to pay $20k and then take over the payments? i'd move somewhere different where you can start fresh and not be reminded of him.
2006-08-09 10:55:51 · answer #10 · answered by Nova J 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋