General Sex and marriage question?

Question

Okay, I'm curious about something here.
I've seen a widely varied type of responses about sex on this site.

I've seen people say that you shouldn't depend on a good sex life to make you happy, and then that you shouldn't have sex before marriage, and that sex isn't that important in a relationship.

So going off of that theory.

Why do so many marriages end in divorce because of a spouse cheating on the other. More specifically, having sex with someone other than their spouse.

If sex isn't so important, and isn't one of the defining factors of a good relationship or marriage, then how come so many relationships end because of it?

Answer 1

Honestly, I think it all depends on the couple themselves. Most of us want a great sex life all the time (even if we don't always get it), some don't, and others float some where in between. There is also still a huge stigma when it comes to our sexual relationships and it hinders us from being able to be truly open to talking about and listening to ourselves and our spouses wants, desires, and kinky (or not so kinky) sides when it comes to the bedroom.
However, I also think marriage has become something that is taken too lightly and is too easy to get out of if unhappy. We are always looking for greener pastures- whether it's a job, a partner, a car, whatever.
That make sense?

Answer 2

Whoever said s*x is NOT a very important part of a relship is WRONG! Even people who claim s*x is not important, well guess what, once their spouse cheat on them they are going to get the wake up call. Sadly though, even when someone is getting enough s*x from their own partner, sometimes they still cheat anyways just because they like to have more options or just because the opportunity is there.

You have to remember something, when a couple assume they are in a monogamous relationship, cheating should not be a part of the deal. So when suddenly someone breaks that deal the other person will get this feeling of betrayal or loss of trust. And many relship ends b/c the trust is non-existence. Having sex with somone other than your partner (or so-called cheating) is just one (& the most common) way to lose that trust- but there are also other less common reasons, like stealing.

Let's say you claim that having money or material possesion is really not that important. Would you still be interested in having a relship with someone who all of the sudden steals from you....? Could you still trust him (or her)? If you couldn't then wouldn't it be easier to end the relship and move on to the next, hopefuly a more trustworthy person?

Make sense?

Answer 3

Humans are very sexual creatures. We are one of the few species that have sex for recreation rather than merely for procreation. That being said, no sex is not all a marriage should be built upon; however, without an adequate sex life a marriage will become strained as both partners will find that something is lacking. Now this is not to say that ALL people are this way, there are those that are uninterested in sexual activity.
As for marriages ending in divorce because of infidelity, there are lots of reasons why one partner will cheat. The partner who cheats may be wholly unsatisfied with their spouse both in and out of the bedroom, or they may be to easily tempted, or a thousand other reasons. The result is always the same though, betrayal of trust, from which few marriages can survive.

I hope this helps a little bit.

Just my 2 cents worth

Answer 4

There are alot of factors to your question. First off, I think sex is very important in a relationship, but of course it's not everything. And as for divorce brought on by cheating, sex isn't the only issue there. You also have lying and betrayal. Honesty and trust are two other huge things in a relationship. Cheating breaks that and alot of times it's too hard to repair. Cheating isn't just about sex in terms of it's impact.

Answer 5

Because for one reason or another people lose intimacy. They can get caught up in other things, raising a family, work etc., and put their marriage last. Some are scandrels to start off with but people who cheat on their spouses shouldn't be in a marriage at all. They just want to have thier cake (a woman to cook and clean for them) and eat it too...well I don't have to paint that picture. A young, single woman or a married unhappy one focuses strictly on sex and pleasing the man...

It takes a lot of counselling to see if a marriage is worth saving and it's hard to rebuild trust when it's been shattered. Most people don't want to confide in thier spouse anymore after that.

Answer 6

I agree with you. I believe that sex is a VERY important part of a relationship. Perhaps it shouldn't be defined as how many times you have sex, or how good it is. But, it is very important to be compatible sexually. For instance, if someone with a high sex drive marrys someone who just isn't that interested there are going to be some major problems. The worst thing people can do is deny that sexual chemistry is not important.

Answer 7

Cheating is just used as an excuse for ending a relationship. Not so long ago there was fault blamed in divorces, now there are no fault divorces. Most people look the other way when cheating is going on anyway until the "Divorce" word is introduced.

Answer 8

Anyone who says sex isn't important to the health of a marriage is dead wrong. It is the glue that holds people together during those "Good times and bad", and the reason you are supposed to foresake all others, is that it encourages you to make that bond with only your spouse.
I don't know why people pretend that we are not part of the physical world with biological needs that have to be met. Angels may live on love and spiritual companionship, but humans have hormones and nerve endings and brains that make continuous demands for attention. Ignore them at your peril.

Answer 9

My marriage didn't end because of it, if nothing else, it proved we were strong enough to overcome it.
It happened in the beginning of my marriage that my husband cheated on me twice.
We've been married for 10 years now. Sex isn't the most important part of out marriage. It plays a part, but other things are more important.
He hasn't cheated since, and we are happily married.

Answer 10

It's not the most important thing in a marriage, but at the same token if my husband can't have sex with me, he can't have sex with no one. Infidelity kills a marriage for many reasons, one being the physical component, but also because the person being cheated on feels betrayed.