He says that we are not ready to have a child for financial and stability reasons. how can i reason with him. To make him just as excited as I am?
2006-08-09 10:23:33 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
just don't have an abortion. my sister's fiancee was the same way and he wanted her to have an abortion. she didn't and slowley but surely he began to get excited. the first ultrasound, the baby's kick, all this will make him excited and attached to his little one. it will take time, don't rush it. please keep your baby. when he holds his baby in his arms for the first time he will never want to be reminded this was the baby he didn't want. he will adore his baby. don't worry about it!
2006-08-09 11:22:57 · answer #1 · answered by 1 Hott Mami 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no way to reason with him. But understand that as time goes by he will give in to the excitement. I don't know how many months you are but once he sees that baby and realizes that that child is a piece of him. It will come rushing in. Just be patient sweetie. As for the financial and stability reasons, children have away of making you figure things out. They make you work harder and eventually life will be easier.
2006-08-09 10:30:55 · answer #2 · answered by L S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I went through this two months ago when we found out i was pregnant. My husband went CLYPTO, he was so freaking pissed off (even though he was the one who decided to stop using condoms and tell me i was pregnant every time we had sex).
Men get scared. thats how they react, is with anger or disapointment. Just take him to your doctor appointments, let him be part of it, and help him to realize that it takes love, not money, to raise a child.
Theyre not free, kids i mean, but i grew up with nothing. Literally. My husband grew up with everything. I was happy and am very close to my family, he was miserable and all he wanted was to be close to his family. They had money and things, i had spam and one pair of pants.
If you saved money your whole life you would never save enough to raise a child. Its true. Money isnt the issue, living for someone other than yourself is.
Men have a hard time with that responcibility. But he'll come around. just dont allow him to have hateful feelings towards the child, for its sake.
Lastly, i have the worst in laws ever, but i called my father in law in tears when my husband was acting like an *** just after finding out i was pregnant (he slept on the sofa and wouldnt touch me, told me he hoped i was happy that i ruined out lives, wouldnt speak to me... it was bad). Anyway, i called his dad crying and told him what his son was doing.
He tracked him down at work and beat some sense into him.
Moms work great too, if he doesnt have a dad.
Its been two months and my husband is so excited about the whole idea of it now... he named the baby already and decided to have its first hand and feet prints tattooed on him so he could keep them forever :). not that i'd let him, but the idea is sweet.
2006-08-09 10:34:06 · answer #3 · answered by amosunknown 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had the same problem with my first don't worry everthing will work out when the baby comes, just think if you have friend or reletives they'll probably throw you a baby shower!!! Or what i did, I would tell my husband to put a certaian amount of money each month for the baby so at the end of my pregnancy we went shopping with plenty of money but you have to start putting money aside very early in your pregnancy. The hospital will help you too.they give you a daiper bag free samples of daipers and all kinds of baby prouducts! you can also go to the W.I.C. AKA-Women-infants and children they can really help you out when you need it!
Good luck and congrads!
P.S you can get medicade for your pregnancy and you won't have to pay a dime for hospital care even your baby gets medicade after he or she is born!
2006-08-09 10:42:34 · answer #4 · answered by Peace 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is probably just scared about becoming a father. Men tend to feel like they have to be the provider for their family and he may feel insecure about having to "provide" for a new baby. Just let him know that you can work it out and find ways to save money and prepare for the arrival of your new baby.
Babies can be expensive but there are ways to save too. You can buy used baby furniture and supplies at resale shops, thrifts shops and garage sales. You can also look into one of you working from home so you won't have to pay for daycare.
Best of luck to you and congratulations.
2006-08-09 10:42:33 · answer #5 · answered by MJL613 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't he will have to come around on his own. Just let him know that you feel he is going to be an excellent father and that you love him very much. Also le thim know that a baby is a gift from god and it may be unplanned by you but not by god........ Something like that. The sad thing is that you cannot make him excited.............
2006-08-09 10:31:21 · answer #6 · answered by Mommy2Be 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
its completly normal for him to act like that....give him time and he will come around.Just as you are excited...for you its all about the nurturing of another life.Men are nervous as they assumethe provider role and worry about how good of a provider they will be,if he percives himself as not being capable of being a good provider,he will be less excited than you,as a man prides himself on his ability to provide for his family.Tell him that he will be a great father and whatever he does he will be a good provider to you and the baby. in time yhe joy you feel will come his way as well.....think of it as akin to weddding day jitters...a little time and re assurance from you and he will be fine
2006-08-09 10:40:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's probably juss nervous and worrying about how he is gunna support everythin.it's alot for him to take in rite now.in a few weeks he should be fine and begin to see the joy in it. juss give him a lil time.
2006-08-09 10:29:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him actions cause concequences and it may not be the right time, but you should be happy for the babys sake....
2006-08-09 10:29:18 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Money can't buy love.
2006-08-09 10:28:53 · answer #10 · answered by BeeFree 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋