I tell him that I am afraid of loosing him if he goes to work abroad? He said he hasn't got the job yet and I already see it as a problem. He got upset with me because he thinks I want to influence his decision but that's not the case. I just worry about loosing him? Why do men see it so differently? He said that he regrets he told me all about it. I feel bad now. I never meant to come across as a selfish girlfriend but I wanted to find out if he actually considers me? He said I pressure him about it?
2006-08-09 10:04:22 · 4 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I am 28. He is 26. We are both living in Europe in 2 different countries already. He would like to go to New York City just to work for a while to see how it is there like. I live alone in my country, he lives in his.. we visit each other once a month.. It's hard already and that's why this is going to be even harder I think? Nothing is for sure but I have noticed that he talks about N.Y. a lot and he mentioned that someone called him already offering him a position. That's all, but I started to panick last night..
2006-08-09 10:21:19 · update #1
You are right, men and women do see things differently.
You are a female and a nurturer and nester. You and women, have to think of the future, about where you will live, how many babies etc.
Men, live in the here and now, this moment in time.That's our genetic make up.
It may well be, that you will lose him, when he goes abroad. It depends on how long he will be gone.
So rather than challenge him on his trip, try to be confident that he will return to you. It will all depend, on how you two can stay in touch, and for how long.
Also, you may meet someone new, while he is away, it happens, even if you aren't looking for a new relationship.
You will be on your own, just as he will be. and will be meeting other people, every day.
So as hard as it may be, just take it one day at a time, and try to think positive thoughts.
2006-08-09 10:15:26 · answer #1 · answered by johnb693 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have this problem too since I want to study abroad.
I've been with my boyfriend for two years and I love him to death and I'm afraid that if I went we would grow apart but then I worry about regretting studying in Europe like I've always wanted.
We talked about it and weighed what it would mean for us...he was also very worried about me going away. In the end I decided he was worth more to me than any trip abroad and I don't want to lose that time with him.
So I moved in with him and we're engaged, I couldn't be happier. You have to talk (maturely) and weigh what going away means to him and you and what your relationship means to the both of you.
2006-08-09 17:09:09 · answer #2 · answered by misswolfish 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are real young I suspect like around 22 or less? It sounds
to me like he has big plans because hes looking at life and seeing the big picture. You obviously want him to stay because he your have feelings for him; if he feels the same for you maybe you should bring up the idea of moving together. If hes in the military thats probably a problem if not then maybe hes got plans for you to. Like saying bye-bye.
2006-08-09 17:15:45 · answer #3 · answered by Kris 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're thinking emotionally. He's thinking analytically. If he gets the job he's thinking how far he can get ahead. If he goes, you're figuring he'll forget you (of course that is not necessarily the truth). I guarantee you one thing if you dwell on it. . . he's gone whether or not he gets the job. You don't own him. He knows it. You don't. You are putting pressure on him whether you realize it or not. If you are a smart girl, you will not discuss it with him again until he gets the job (or doesn't).
2006-08-09 17:15:39 · answer #4 · answered by snddupree 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋