how can i prevent myself from being malled by lions?

Question

i am just freaked out!! help me

Answer 1

Pretty simple - don't go into the lion's den

Answer 2

Afraid of being mauled by lions? Try my simple 3 step program!

Step 1: Do NOT wrap yourself in pieces of meat.
Step 2: Stay away from the lion's den.
Step 3: Call your therapist and set up an appointment.

Answer 3

Paddy was at the Circus when he was approached by the Ringmaster. 'The liontamer has gone sick. I'll give you £100 if you do it instead'. 'And what happens if they attack me' Paddy asked. 'You will have a big whip' he was told. 'And what happens if I drop the whip' Paddy again asked. 'You will have a chair to protect yourself' he was told. 'And what happens if the chair falls out of my hand' Paddy asked. 'In that case' the Ringmaster said 'pick up a few handfulls of sh*it and throw it at the lions' he was told. 'And what happens if there is no sh*it' Paddy again asked. 'If you drop the whip and chair, there is one guarantee I can give you Paddy - there will be tons of sh*it' he was told....................