for young married women only??

Question

heres the scoop. me and my wife have been married going on 4 yrs now in dec. we both are 22yrs old. yeah kinda young to be married that long, right. but i wanna know if it is natural for a young womans sex drive to drop drastically. i mean i know after 4 yrs i kinda gets old. i agree to that. but our sex life is pretty much non-existing now. no joke, we're lucky to do it twice in a week. actually twice is pushing it. its got to the point where im thinking maybe its ME that just wants it too much. but hell naw. its not like i ask for it every nite, im pretty resonable. i have got to the point where i wont even make any attempts just to see how long we will go without it. i remember there were times i couldnt come home for a lunch break without us getting it on. i know for a fact that she's not getting it somewhere else. i wouldnt get on here and ask if that was a possiblity. so that's out the window. but is it normal for a 22yr old woman to not want sex or is it me????

she did have my son but that was 2 yrs ago. and yeah she gained a lil' weight from that. everyone does though.

Answer 1

I got married when I was 18 and now I'm 31 and still married to the same man. I think at your age sex = acceptance. I remember going through the same thing. Just remember life happens. Sex in a marriage can't be your #1 priority. Children, bills and just everyday life tend to ware a person down. She is not doing this to hurt you she is trying to find her place in the life you both have created. Being a mother\wife is a lot to handle at such a young age. Give her time everything will come together.

Answer 2

Do you know you are precious? Congratulations on the 4 years, I hope you have many more happy years. You do know you are going to get some real ugly answers to your question. Brave enough to hear from some perverts who think they are cute? I am going to seriously answer you. After awhile, married couples forget to make their love life a priopety in their lives. They are too busy, too tried, too whatever....Some couples lose the thrill of being together...it's not exciting as it once was....Sex to some couples is once a day-some once a month....But both the man and woman should be happy with numbers. Have you tried talking to her about it? I am so glad you didn't jump to the conclusion that she is having an affair, everyone does, and that's not always the case. She might have something going on at work or a family problem that has her distracted or worried. So, try talking to her. If you feel you can't talk to her, perk things up...do you know foreplay begins way before the bedroom. Most women that have been married a long time, this is going to sound crazy, but it's true, find very sexy when they come home from work that their husband has done the laundry or the dishes. It shows he cares! That he would do some of the chores around the house for her, so she could be spending chore with him instead of behind a broom or mop. It's a big turn on. So, it can't hurt to try, go clean the bathroom, and put out some romantic candles, and pamper her when she gets home. She just might need some tender loving care, and not feel like she's a stepford wife. Cook dinner(buy take-out and throw the boxs away) make a pretty table for her. You can do little things, and honey, it's a turn on. I got married at 18 too, been married for a little over 26 years, and I love to come home and have a glass of ice tea waiting on me instead of dirty dishes! So, don't you think I thank him for! Spice up things, instead of always the bedroom...how about the living room...how about a night in a hotel...but some thought to it. I pray she knows what she has and appreciates it. Now, show her how you appreciate her...take out the garabage, pick up your dirty underwar and wash them too.don't forget the fabric softner....Ok! God bless us all..................

Answer 3

No, it's not you. It's normal for a married couple's sex life to drop some after a while. How much depends on the couple. In the beginning there is a lot of passion and the sex was not only great, it was more often. Now you're both probably falling into some kind of routine and taking each other for granted. Perhaps what you both should do is spice up your sex life. Do something different. Maybe plan a romantic getaway somewhere and rekindle that passion.

Answer 4

From the info you put out, it is possible that she has just gotten in a different routine, it may not necessarily be you. Take a step back, if you will, to look at the rest of your relationship. Does she seem happy overall? Does she hang out with her friends a lot? Is she working a lot of overtime and too tired for the bedroom later?

My hubby and I went throug a spell like that, we have a new marital motto that we try to uphold as much as possible, "have more sex". No matter how things are going, it really can help your relationship.

Here are some things that have sparked special love-making in our marriage that might work for you: new bed, sheets, etc., new romantic music, enjoying time spent together, one partner working hard and needing a good "break" calls for something special....we also like a variety. If you have a tall bed, off the edge of it is good. Or go to a hotel. Maybe watch a good chick flick with her.

Answer 5

Did she change her PC bills? That could do it, or any other kinds of meds. I am not on any meds but I am rarely in the mood to. I go through phases. I am only 24 also. But what you could do is help her out more than you normally would around the house, help with the baby etc.. I swear every time my husband starts to help me out more I am all over him. I don't know what it is about it. Maybe because I get a break from it all or something. Is she a stay at home mom? Maybe you need to let her get a babysiter once or twice a week so that she can have time alone to do girlly things and feel good about herself again. I love when my husband buys me manicures or pedi's out of the blue. It is so nice. Start bringing home some small boquets of flowers and romancing her again. I am sure with time she will start to respond again like she use to. Sounds like the romance is gone and girls need that to feel like doing it. Even if it only is helping clean the house and stuff. Take your time with her and be patient after you do all this stuff. Don't expect her to drop her pants once you walk through the door with flowers. But later that night...

Sorry I need to add more after reading the other ones. Don't talk to her about it first. Some women will get more self consious about doing it if you bring up the fact that you aren't doing it. Just try what I wrote first for a few weeks. If that doesn't seem to do anything then talk to her. I would freak out if my husband said something to me about it. I would just take it the opposite way and never want to do it.

Answer 6

What is normal anymore, you know? It doesn't seem likely that a 22 year old woman would, but then again you have been married for 4 years which is not as common/normal. I can't tell you what is going on in her head because we all have different ideas about this. Some people say you should be together 3-4 times a week,
other people not even once a week. It depends on your schedules, stress levels, responsibilities, children. You should talk to her about it. I cannot stress that part enough.You shouldn't try to tell her what you want to say by avoiding it, no one is a mind reader. She may not know you are feeling like this, hope that helps.

Answer 7

Okay, I don't consider myself young, but I've got the marriage routine down pat, so here goes.

A week is actually very good for a long-term, "comfortable" relationship. Who can you be more comfy with than your precious spouse? I've been with mine 15 years, and twice weekly is where we're at too. No complaints from either.

Does your wife use Depo Provera for birth control, by any chance? That stuff trashed me while I was on it; we're talking twice monthly being too much to handle. No urges whatsoever. Once I stopped the DP injections, it took a few months, but the nasty side effects stopped too.

Stress and lack of sleep can also mess a woman up. So can excessive alcohol or casual drug usage.

If none of these seem to apply, she may want to talk to her OB-GYN about it. A friend of mine started anti-depressants, and she saw a huge change in her "urge" level within a week.

On the bright side, when your wife reaches 30-35, you'll be so hard-pressed to keep up, you'll wish you could clone yourself! Little consolation now, but something to look forward to.

Answer 8

ok this is scary, I had to double read this question because I thought my husband was asking it. I am 22 years old have been married for 3 years and the sex with my husband has gone down alot to. I know for me is that I want to be acknowledged for things I do and accomplish rather than just having sex. I know when I am unhappy about things or a situation I with hold sex because I know that is what my husband wants the most ( i know its wrong but hey I'm sorry it is the only way I know how to get my point accross.) For most women sex is so much more than "intercourse" It is how are minds are at that time, what is going on in our lives, are we tired are we grouchy, was the child a pain all day. All these things effect us wanting or not wanting to have sex.
Sit down with her and really ask her what things are bothering her, what things you could do differently and what she would like to change. If her mind is happy then her body is happy and then her body wants to make your body happy :)

Answer 9

Sure. Maybe you should ask for smaller 'favours' than full sex. Ask her to go down on you more - or let you go down on her 'no strings attached' (she'll soon start reciprocating), or mutually masturbate. Full sex is quite a commitment, but maybe the smaller things will get her going more often. Maybe you should be asking her if there's anything you can do to get her interested - why she's not as interested. It's also quite possible she works too hard, feels too tired, or just has a lower sex drive than when you first got together. All libidos drop off in time.

Answer 10

Women think alot differently than guys do! Men react more on the physcial like a naked woman! Women think more and react more with their emotions! We need to feel special-loved- and like the most beautiful woman in the world in your eyes! You would be amazed what a few little things you can do that will open her eyes and having her JUMP u before nightfall!!!! GO TO THE STORE NOW and buy a wicker basket and in it put bubble bath, scented lotion, a scented candle. a bottle of champagne and one glass, along with a nice little satin robe. Then you go home- run her a hot bubble bath with the words I LOVE you written on the showere tile. Light the candles and let her soak in her own little peice of heaven! That way when she is enjoying this great bath she will be thinking of the person who made it possible- YOU! Later use the lotion to start a massage while watching tv. Start with her feet and move up. SKIP the good stuff and go to her shoulders and neck! SLOW!!!!! A few nibbles to the back pf the neck....a couple little growls...and BAM you will be walking funny by morning!!!!! Show her she is loved!!! You will be amazed!