Whether it be negative or positive, what makes a person pre-judge another person, based on looks alone?

Question

I have a friend who is very pretty, intelligent , beutiful personality, bright smile and just an all around great person. She works very hard. Two jobs, while trying to raise 4 children alone. Ages 5, 9,14 and 17. Unfortunatly for her at one point in her life (around 10 yrs ago - she's been 10 years clean) she was using cocaine and it has left her with scars in her face that are a result of the drug abuse (porifirated mucous membranes, permenant rash) In public, people will stare to see if she's tweeking or something. I can tell It makes her very uncomfortable or even insecure at times. She's constantly looking for beuty products to help with her skin. I told her to ignore stares or just stare back, as a result to my advice, it's gotten a little confontational. Why is it that society pre-judges a person based on what they "see" instead of getting to know that person? Could it be that most look for fault in others to justify thier own insecurites? How can I get her to see this?

Answer 1

Boy, we would surely have peace on earth if people judged by what was in one's heart. Unfortunately, science has proven that from the beginning of our species we are hardwired from birth to look for beauty. Not only is it appreciated, it is necessary for survival. Things like health condition or genetic compatability show up in the face and skin- and when looking for a mate, it's only obvious to select the healthiest.
Your friend is going to have to learn to love herself for who she is right now; accepting all her past mistakes and current faults. All you can do is continue to be supportive of her.

Answer 2

i didn't read your novel but i have to go with instincts