This is a 5 year long relationship, we started as friends and feelings became stronger and stronger...i have never ever dont this before nor will I ever again. I just need help in breaking it off. I dont think I have the strength to do it and it's killing me inside. I love him to death and I cant picture life without him, he says the same thing, yet he also cant see life without his kids, which he thinks his wife will keep away and make things difficult for. I cant do this alone, I desperately want help in getting out....
2006-08-09 08:20:06 · 26 answers · asked by needtogetout 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
First I want to say I'm proud of you for taking the first step towards doing the right thing... Probably not what you expected to hear right? But admiting a mistake takes bravery and strength. So I'm glad to see you do it.
Part of the reason this realationship happened is because there was a hole in your life. When you leave him that hole will be vacant again. You need to work on filling that space with good things so you don't fall back into the same bad habbits.
One of the big reasons people find themselves in trouble is because they have turned their backs on God. He misses you, I know you are going to be lonely during this difficult time. Focusing on Him could really help take the sting out.
A lot of people feel that they can't turn to God because they are in the middle of a mess. Like they need to have a good "sunday dress" on before he will listen. That is the exact opocite of what God is about. He takes you just the way you are. At your lowest point, he is the only one who will not forsake you. You don't need to have a "formal" prayer all thought out. Just talk to him like you are calling an old friend on the phone and tell him what is on your heart. Ask him for what you need. He will not deny you.
In your every day life you need to fill your days with good habbits. Make sure to get enough sleep. Eat right, take up some light exercise. Try avoid becomming depressed. If you lost friends because of your affair, contact them. Tell them you are trying to get straightened out and need their support. Fess up to your family. Tell them you want to make a clean break.
Tell the man you want to be an honest woman again. If he loves you like he says he does, he will want that for you. Otherwise he is just being selfish. He has his family. He should want you to have those joys too. Right now you are being cheated of that. You are a secret, like you aren't a real person. You deserve to be someone's WHOLE life, not a few stolen moments "here and there". It is about respect.
If he doesn't want to let you be free, threaten to tell his wife next time he calls you. He won't call again that should make it clear who he really values.
Good luck, May God bless you and keep you.
I pray for your broken heart.
2006-08-09 08:39:53 · answer #1 · answered by Crystal Violet 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Well............. tell him you no longer want to do this and walk away, quickly. Don't look back, don't call him, don't answer the phone if he calls you, get rid of anything that reminds you of him, any gifts, pictures or things like that. Once you do this, think to yourself what a good person you are for getting out of his life and NOT destroying a marriage with kids. Your going to have to suck up the pain. It's going to hurt, but in the long run, your doing the right thing.
2006-08-09 10:27:41 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know whats funny? Is for the past yr and a half i have been in the same exact situation. Only difference is I I realize a little sooner then you that I want out. Its hard I know because you love him. I dont really know what to tell you or how you should leave him because I dont know how to leave my bf and we love each other. We started out the same way so the only advice I have for you and I have yet to try it but you know how its easier to give advice then do it yourself, is tell him that even tho you love him and despertly want to be with him its time to move on since he can not be entirely devoted to just you. And that you would love to be friends but your not sure if that will work out so just take it one day at a time. GOOD LUCK to you sweetie!!!!!! if you get any good advice please pass it on my way.
2006-08-09 08:28:55 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its not the kids keeping him there. It is her, He dont want to leave her. The best thing you can do is just tell him and dont let him talk you out of it. You dont want a man like this anyway. Its good that you saw were this was going and decided to stop it. 5 years is along time. You just have to do it. Get it over with. Good luck hun
2006-08-09 08:24:18 · answer #4 · answered by bigdog_0032 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It breaks my heart to hear this. Why? Because as despicable as this jerk is, there will always be naive, insecure, and (I'll be frank) stupid young women like yourself to perpetuate the problem. Yes, it's a shame that married men would have affairs with women...but it does'nt help that so many women like yourself have no backbone to just walk away. You are worth so much!! Why settle for your existence this way? For this life...the secrecy and shame? You are beautiful...the sad thing is that you would allow your beauty to be veiled by this rancid adulturous affair. Leave him. Never look back. Absolutely nothing to do with him. Trust me...you'll be a million times happier when you finally do.
2006-08-09 08:31:31 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Cut the ties asap. And don't look back. As difficult as it seems at this very moment, you'll be happier in the longrun. It will give you a chance to find true love with a single man and begin your own life.
2006-08-09 08:24:43 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
in basic terms think of the state of affairs wherein your spouse and her husband is making plans the comparable element and that supplies you with your answer. Stand back and take a seem at your life. Why the shortcoming of interest on your modern-day spouse? what's it approximately this different female that makes you think of you adore her? Is it in basic terms the buzz of the "forbidden fruit"? Why did you marry your spouse interior the 1st place? i'm useful you enjoyed her, or concept you probably did. you purely could confirm which it substitute into. in case you certainly enjoyed her, then deep down interior someplace you nonetheless do. in the adventure that your motives for marrying her have been something different than love, than think of roughly what they have been and if the circumstances are distinctive now, you are able to verify them. This married female which you "love", do you forsee that changing interior the destiny as properly? in case you do, or think of there is even the opportunity of it, then you probable shouldn't pursue something along with her. You the two have plenty to lose, and no count if it extremely is on of challenge, is it extremely properly worth it? i think of you have plenty to think of roughly.
2016-11-04 05:30:58 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Joint custody. His wife can't steal his kids. He's lying and he's a cheat.. you deserve better and his wife deserves better from both of you. Stay out of other peoples' marriages. If you can't tell him directly, leave him an email - he doesn't deserve better. I would never see him again.
I would feel very hurt and disrespected if I found out my husband was cheating, and the woman knew he was married all along. Husbands are easier to forgive than mistresses.
2006-08-09 08:36:30 · answer #8 · answered by Spiked Coffee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can still be apart of this man's life and his kids but since he is married you guys can only be friends you have to cut it off some time why not now. You can be a family friend.
2006-08-09 08:26:00 · answer #9 · answered by Alexia S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are an *** for believing him. He has his cake and gets to eat it too. Do you know how many people use that "I can't leave because of my kids excuse"? The truth of the matter is they are too chicken to leave, and not enough of a man to stay and be a good husband.
Ever wonder why he has such a crappy marriage? It COULDN'T be because he spends all his time cheating on her, could it???? If he does leave her and joins you - then I say you deserve him, and all the misery waiting for him to cheat on you!
2006-08-09 08:24:23 · answer #10 · answered by Christopher B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋