I don't know what to anymore. I have tried everything i can think of. I want more affection, he says come and get it. The other night I had a very bad flu (when I stood up, I felt like I was going to pass out and then I would puke). Right now i am on mat leave, so I was with the kids all day while I was sick and made him supper and then he goes off to his mom and dads for a visit. So I had to put the kids to bed. I left him a romantic and raunch burned cd and some "pictures" for him for are anniversary in his truck all I got was a txt saying nice ****. I got a babysitter for the saturday so we could go out and celebrate If I want anything romantic I have to plan it or do it myself. Does he want to be here anymore. I am running out of ideas. Plz help.
2006-08-09 08:19:59 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
And to think - you probably haven't done the one idea which could have the greatest effect, which is take everything you just told us anonymous people, and share it with this person you promised to spend your life with. As much as women think we have a crystal ball, or magic insight into the needs of a women - we have never been a women, so chances are we don't even realize what's going on. You would be surprised how effective something like this is - "I am unhappy. I am not getting the attention, and loving that I need. I need this and this..." Remember to use those "I" statements. Anything that starts out with "You" automatically puts the other person on the defensive, while "I" triggers the desire to help.
2006-08-09 08:34:33 · answer #1 · answered by Christopher B 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Was he always this way? Or has he changed? If he has changed, then maybe something is going on with him. Could be an affair, could be he no longer loves you, could be he thinks I'm married to her now, so I don't have to do romantic things anymore. Could be so many things. Best to open up to him and let him know how you feel about him being insensitive and see what he says. For some reason, the romance in a marriage is most of the time left up to the wife. Needless to say there are some very romantic husbands out there. Your complaint is the same as many many other wives. Hope you find your answer.
2006-08-09 17:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by older&wiserforit 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to him and tell him how you feel. I think every marriage goes through something similar. You need to find out why he is being so distant. If you can't get a direct answer from him or some willingness to make things better then you need to maybe talk about going to marriage counseling. I am a true believer that you have to exhaust every effort possible before you just walk away, especially when you have kids involved. I think if you truly wanted to leave him then you wouldn't be looking for an answer on yahoo questions. Although I do love this site, you can't really rely on it to make or break your marriage. I wish you all the luck in the world and hope that you and your hubby will find a way to make it work.
2006-08-09 15:28:38 · answer #3 · answered by n2dp4me2003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It has pretty much been said, you need to talk to him, tell him how you feel. I went through something similar when I was pregnant. You have to think of your husband (unfortunately) as your child also sometimes. It's like they just don't get it! Next time you have some time to yourself, make a list (an physical list, not a mental one). You don't have to show him the list, but this way you will remember everything that is bothering you. Let him know your true feelings, but also ask him how he feels. Let him know you'd appreciate some extra TLC, after all you are pregnant!! I don't think anyone who heas never been pregnant (men) can really understand what it can be like.
Hopefully you can work this out, good luck on the new baby, and don't stress yourself out. Stress can be bad for the baby!!
2006-08-09 15:56:38 · answer #4 · answered by Diamonds_4Ever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For one thing, guys don't remember what it's like to be sick until they're sick. It does seem like he's not really caring much about the family; I'd do something that makes him worry a little, like take the kids and go someplace like your parents' or friend's and stay for a little while. Tell him you don't want to live like that, get some counseling if you can, and read "Boundaries for Marriage". But make sure you stand as tall as ever; they don't like a weak weepy saran wrap girl (been there, done that). If you can work it out it's better for the kids, but he has to want to try.
2006-08-09 15:33:52 · answer #5 · answered by agatehunt 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some men are just plain stupid when it comes to romancing a wife! They think telling us to " roll over woman" is ummm romance! NOT!!!!! My hubby is a wonderful man BUT let me tell you- there is NO romance in his body at all!!!! The most romantic thing he has ever done was write I love you oin the bathroom mirror! Its ME who has to plan it all and make it work out! As long as he is there for you- holds u at night- and is your companion in life- he may not be romantic but he does love you. Just remember- HE IS A MAN! HE KNOWS NO BETTER!!!! lol Hang in there- your not doing anything wrong- you are NOT alone in this!!!! He loves u just doesnt quite get the idea of romance!
2006-08-09 15:59:44 · answer #6 · answered by cstinkerbell6969 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First tell him how you feel. Make sure he knows its serious and it hurts you very much. Then if he doesn't change or at least attempt to change, leave him. You only have 1 life, and your happiness is important and you must think of yourself and what's good for you. Or else, you won't be happy, and then the relationship will suffer and he wont be happy and your kids wont be happy. Nobody wins if there is unhappiness in the relationship. Good luck.
2006-08-09 15:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Alex S 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well do what u got to do for u
2006-08-09 15:23:06 · answer #8 · answered by devil_queen_biatch14 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋