Funny nursery rhymes?

Question

Have you ever heard of any funny nursery rhymes, like adult versions? I have heard a few but wondering how many you guys can come up with.... let me hear one!!!

I do not need links to refer to, only would like to know if there is any that you have heard of and if so, post them here please and thank you!

Answer 1

HEY DIDDLE, DIDDLE the cat took a piddle,
All over the bedside clock.
The little dog laughed to see such fun.
Then died of electric shock.

GEORGIE PORGY Pudding and Pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
And when the boys came out to play,
He kissed them too 'cause he was gay


JACK AND JILL Went up the hill
To have a little fun.
Stupid Jill forgot the pill
And now they have a son


MARY HAD A LITTLE LAMB
Her father shot it dead.
Now it goes to school with her,
Between two hunks of bread


Mary had a little pig,
She kept it fat and plastered;
And when the price of pork went up,
She shot the little bastard

Answer 2

Funny Nursery Rhymes

Answer 3

This Site Might Help You.

RE:
Funny nursery rhymes?
Have you ever heard of any funny nursery rhymes, like adult versions? I have heard a few but wondering how many you guys can come up with.... let me hear one!!!

Answer 4

Yun Hi Sada Haste Raho Yun Hi Sada Muskrate Raho Yun Hi Sada Chehkte Raho Yun Hi Sada Gungunate Raho ...... ...... ...... ...... Mera Kya Hai Log Tumhe HI Pagal Kahenge

Answer 5

Look up Andrew Dice Clay on Google--he's the king of the dirty nursery rhyme.

***YOU ASKED FOR IT!!!***

Little Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
A lightbulb was stuck up her ***
It woke up the spider who lived deep inside her
He said "hey, free electric and gas!"

Jack and Jill went up the hill
And Jack would try to hump her
Jill said "no", Jack said "so, I'll ram it in your
dumper!"

Twinkle Twinkle little star
Will she blow me in the car
Because I bought her dinner, she had fun
Now my balls are boiling and I'd like to ***

Old mother hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her old dog a snack
The cupboard was bare
She didn't despair
She let Rover munch on her crack

Peter Peter pumkin eater
Whacked off in the movie theater
Sprayed his load across the screen
And ruined Titanic's final scene

Hickory Dickory Dock
My balls fell out of my jock
I laid them to rest
On some hooker's chest
And paddled her face with my cock


Betty and Jack, up a tree
F-U-C-K-I-N-G
First cums Betty, then cums Jack
Then cums the goo out of Betty's crack

Little Boy Blue
He needed the money

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie
Jerked off in his girl friends eye
When her eye was dry and shut
Georgie ****** that one-eyed slut

Old King Cole was a merry old soul
A merry old soul was he
He chewed off his tit, ate his own ****
Washed it down with some tea

Roll, roll, roll your ****
Gently down my prick
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Then you'll suck my dick

Hickory dickory dock
Some chick was sucking my cock
The clock struck two, I dropped my goo
I dumped the ***** on the next block.

Jack and Jill went up the hill
Both with a buck and a quarter
Jill came down with two-fifty
That ******' Huar.

Mary, Mary, quite contrary,
Trim that pussy it's so damn hairy

Littly Miss Muffet
Sat on a tuffet
Eating her curds and whey
Along came a spider,
Sat down beside her, And said, "Hey, what's in the bowl, *****?"

Old Mother Hubbard
Went to the cupboard
To get her dog a bone
She bent over,
Rover took over
And she got a bone of her own

Jack Sprat could eat no fat
His wife could eat no lean
So Jack ignored those flabby ****
And licked her asshole clean

Rock-a-bye baby, on the tree top
Your mother's a whore
I ain't your pop

Little Bo Peep ****** her sheep
Blew a horse, licked his feet
She ate his *** so very nice
Tongued his balls not once but twice

Peter Peter Pumpkin Eater
Had a wife, loved to beat her
Smacked her twice across the head
****** her *** and went to bed

Little jack Horner sat in a corner
Eating a pizza pie
He **** pepperoni, blew his friend Tony
And wiped his mouth on his tie

Twinkle, twinkle little star
How I wonder what you are
Shine upn the parking lot
As I eat my girl friends ****

Three blind mice, see how they run
Where the **** are they going?

Eenie, Meenie, Miney, Moe
Suck my dick and swallow slow

Jack be nimble, Jack be quick
Jack burnt off his ******' dick
GWEEBUCKADEE!!!

There was an old lady
Lived in a shoe
She had so many kids
Her uterus fell out

Patty cake, patty cake
Baker's man
If your chick's on her period
**** her in the can

Mary had a little lamb
She kept in her backyard
When she took her panties off
His wooley dick got hard

Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle
The cow jumped over the moon
That's more than my lazy wife does
That fat, ******' smelly babboon

Doe, a deer, a female deer
Ray,
The guy that ****** her ***

Rub a Dub Dub
Three men in a tub
******* have threesomes, too
So ******' what

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I ****** your mother's ***
And she had you

Answer 6

hickory dickory dock, some b**** was sucking my c***. the clock struck two, i dropped my goo. hickory dickory dock.