iam married 11 months and 20 days ago ,,,my husband was in mexico ( cancun ) in his friend bachelor party for 3 days,,i took all his clothes when he came back to the machine,,i washed them and get them out ,,i found a condom between this clothes,,i asked him while iw as crying ,,,coz we never used condom in our sex,,he said it must be old one was in any pocket in old short before our marriage...i don't beileve him,,,i can't stop crying since last night,,,our universial after 10 days ,,,,our first one,,,what should i do...?
2006-08-09 07:42:09 · 67 answers · asked by sarah_boba 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Good grief, some of you answer automatically that he is cheating. Do you know him? Do you know the story? My guess is you automatically assume the worst from us guys. Hell, I had a condom in my wallet from 4 years ago, I just never got around to throwing it out. If he took clothes with him that he had not worn in a long while it very well could have been in his pocket from that long ago. If it is newer it could be that the party got to be very raunchy indeed but he was faithful. It could also be that someone gave it to him at the party and he did not want to upset you by telling you the party was that raunchy. Plain and simple if you cannot trust him based soley on the discovery of a condom then there is some deeper trust issue. Yes, he may have cheated on you, yes he may not have. The only way you are ever going to know is to talk with him. Do not let these people who do not know you, or are very narrow minded, make you believe that unquestionably he cheated. Not all of us guys cheat. I hope this helps
Just my 2 cents worth
2006-08-09 07:54:43 · answer #1 · answered by capbarrow2 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Believe him! Do you love the man? Do you want your marriage to work? Has he ever done anything to make you think he is cheating on you? If this is the first thing that has ever made you doubt him. I throw the condom in the garage along with my tissues. I would call him, and tell him you got a surprise for him when he came home. I would cook him a romantic dinner, with candles and wines...and I would put on my favorite outfit and show that man exactly how I love him. Honey, things aren't always what they look like. If you don't learn to trust him, your marriage is not going to make it. Put this behind you, and make that man smile tonight. If he's cheated before, and you know this for a fact, then he wouldn't be smiling. A 3 day bachelor party would cause any woman to wonder what all took place. It's your decision, but if he's been a good husband and hasn't given me any reason to wonder before, I would be picking up that phone and making that call. I would be cooking up his favorite meal, and getting dressed up and meeting him at the door with a apology for doubting him. I pray that you are planning dinner right now! Don't forget the candles, and I want to say one last thing....this is from a woman married for 26 years , 7 months, and 2 days, make-up sex is the greatest! God bless us all............
2006-08-09 08:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know what they say about what happens in mexico... stays in mexico. This is a question you may never know the thruth to. If he was human and screwed up as we often do can you forgive him? If not you will resent him and eventually become bitter with him and visa versa then the best bet instead of sticking around and making both of your lives miserable is to leave...If you can forgive you need to put it behind you however not necessarily forget. There is also the chance he's telling the truth. It could have been a joke on the bachelor. If you choose not to believe him or need answers you can pry into his friends head by telling him your husband told you what happened and you can't believe he let your husband do something so stupid. But ultimately it's your decision, let him know how serious this is to you.
2006-08-09 08:04:48 · answer #3 · answered by summera76 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ouch!
Where there's smoke, theres fire!
Proceed with caution and I might suggest having the arson squad investigate that one.
You've been married a short time and only you will be able to really know if he is telling the truth about the condom. Your trust level is being tested early in your marriage. Let him know you need to find out the truth, one way or the other. It might be difficult to take the fact that he might have done something unfaithful, and definitely no consolation that he used a condom, but in the long run, what would he be capable of next.
Get it out in the open and attempt to extinguish the fire!
Don't get burned!
(Here's a tissue...I feel for you!)
2006-08-09 07:57:12 · answer #4 · answered by Jay 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow...unbelievable! You should dump him immediately! You let him go to Cancun for a bachelor party ALONE and he comes back with a condom (a condom over a year old) in his suitcase! I would not even put up with that! You trusted him to go alone and he broke your trust! How can you prove if anything happened when he was in Cancun? I'm so sorry you are going through this! I have been married for almost six years and if I trusted him to let him go to freakin' Cancun alone and he came back with a condom in his luggage I would definitely kick him to the curb! I really feel for you and if I'm coming off as harsh, it's only because I am angry at any married man that would do that to their wife. Good luck!
2006-08-09 07:53:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well if it was a used one would not understand why it would of been with his cloths on a trip to Mexico.Unless he used it. Does he have a history of lying or cheating?IF it was an unopened one. Was there cloths that he had not worn in a long time? Just set back and be calm and walk the steps. He could be lying but then again he could be telling the truth. Chances are 50-50. But if he did cheat he is not going to come out and tell you.
2006-08-09 07:58:27 · answer #6 · answered by freebirdat2002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't believe it either, lets see he was in Cancun for a friends Bachelor party and you found a condom in the clothes he had taken with him hmm....
A better lie would have been that one of the guys gave it to him, or something like that.........lol maybe he never did anything but just had the condom on him, its a possibility.
2006-08-09 07:56:46 · answer #7 · answered by spidermaniii_06 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nothing good could come from a husband going to Cancun for a bachelor party. And what kind of grown men go to Cancun ?? At this point is all teenagers there. I wouldn't believe him either. He cheated. What should you do ? Get a divorce now so you dont waste any more time with him.
2006-08-09 07:49:31 · answer #8 · answered by JustMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My ex cheated on me and this sounds like another lie that I have heard from him. I'm sorry to say but no matter what you say he will never confuss unless you can pin his butt in a corner so hard he has no choice but to tell the turth because you know the story. Now here is a thought. Can you talk to one of the guys he went to cancun with? Maybe you have a gf who's bf or husband went on this trip with him. I'm not sure if they will give information out on rather he did he didn't cheat on you while he was down there ...but hell it's worth a shot. Right???? That is what I would do. Build your case against him lol. But I would suggest you talk about it and just tell him how can it be OURS if we have never used a condom.....that will put him in a spot that's for sure because he already lied to you about it being yours and his from dating. So call his bluff....don't be shy because if has done it once he will or has already done it again. Good luck and i'm sorry it sucks!
2006-08-09 07:52:28 · answer #9 · answered by browneyegirl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Calm down first. He may be telling the truth. If he doesn't wear those short very often and packed them they could have had the condom in them.
There is really no way for you to know what happened in Cancun, and you can either punish him over something you don't know for sure and never will or you can trust your new husband and move on.
Very sorry, but that is the only choice you have. Trust him, or divorce him.
2006-08-09 07:47:55 · answer #10 · answered by magerious 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋