(posted here to get a more mature response from men)
My boyfriend & I, of 4 years, are on the verge of breaking up and I feel like I am dying on the inside. Our major problem is that it seems we have become so accustom to eachother that we have lost the "us" in the casual day-to-day activities. We love eachother so much and don't want to give up, but it seems we are never happy... at least at the same time. How do you go about re-establishing a solid foundation in a relationship. Especially with our hectic schedules (both work and are full time college students) We, especially I, am not ready to throw in the towel! Any serious advice would be appreciated! Thanks...
2006-08-09 07:27:17 · 8 answers · asked by Britta 1 in Health ➔ Men's Health
Damn! I was going to tell you to ditch him!
Okay - you want to work at it and we are assuming that he does too.
The way to re-establish a solid foundation in a relationship is COMMUNICATION.
You will need to spend time together so take some time off together. It would probably help to do some things that are different to what you are used to. Have a holiday together. Shake the routine up a little bit - after all, it has contributed to your current situation.
Buy some lingerie.
When you have spent some time re-exploring the reasons why you fell in lust I mean love in the first place, then you must learn to love the silences together.
This is particularly hard for women because they love to communicate and silence can sometimes be seen as a punishment. It's what you do when you hate someone - you don't talk with them ... but the silences between two people who love each other are interspersed with communication: a stroke or touch here, a brief glance and smile there ... It's sort of the comfortable routine that people get into in a neatly coordinated workplace where people go through a little dance around each other - you know what steps come next and you watch and wait and you slip right into the routine.
Take him to dance lessons. Learn to dance together :) Salsa or something sexy!
The trouble is that if you put all your time and effort into your work/study and none into your relationship, your relationship will suffer.
You need to take time away from work/study and fix the relationship. Or decide what is more important.
2006-08-09 07:43:15 · answer #1 · answered by Orinoco 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The four year mark is usually the same for all couples, this is the time that we miss who we used to be before we were in the relationship or when things were new and exciting. What I know from personal experiences is getting in touch with what experts call "The Boyfriend Within". What is the boyfriend whiting? Is simply your inner feelings, wants, dislikes and dreams. The idea is to threat yourself they way you would like your boyfriend to treat you. After you achieve the inner happiness is time to share it with your boyfriend, we all learn how to care, cherish and even love from those around us. Take the first step and make things a little more exciting, do something every week that you would have never thought about doing, go out to baseball game or what ever he is into, better yet get both interested on new things, new places, reconnect with all those things that attracted you to him at day one, those things are still there they just hidden by routine and everyday life.
2006-08-09 09:29:29 · answer #2 · answered by Koji Kabuto 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like to me he's indifferent and is probably looking for a way out. No one can make you happy.You can only make yourself happy.Many Men and women alike wonder if the grass is greener on the other side. And unfortunately it is at first. There's nothing more thriling and exhilerating than a new relationship. The lovy dovy stage, I call it. When the experience is fresh and new. The feelings that grow.
Also, familiarity breeds contempt. The little things early in a relationship that he use to think were cute, bugs the hell out of him 4 years later. Show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I'll show ya a guy who's tired of _ _ _ _ _ _ _her.
Long term relationships are tough work. Relationships are living breathing things. Like a plant, if you stop watering and nurturing it, the plant will wither and die!
Good Luck
2006-08-09 08:59:54 · answer #3 · answered by Jack 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Many detrimental reviews in my existence have not killed me and that they've relatively no longer made me greater suitable. It VERY uncommon that somebody has a irritating adventure and is relatively greater suitable for it. Your techniques-set is favourite seems very adversarial. My instinct is which you have had some very detrimental adventure(s) and you have developed a severe mistrust of people. that should sound like a grievance yet I assure you it incredibly isn't any longer. A loss of believe can now and lower back be a competent component. it relatively is a tragic certainty of existence that no longer absolutely everyone might nicely be trusted. finally however, it relatively is a techniques-set that isn't going to artwork on your choose interior the long-term. absolutely everyone has to believe somebody quicker or later. it relatively is a probability we ought to all take. My techniques-set then is a few thing greater like "wish for the superb, anticipate the worst" i attempt to grant human beings the income of the doubt yet I too might nicely be very unforgiving if somebody crosses the line. it relatively is plenty much less complicated to do a foul component and show sense sorry approximately than it relatively is to no longer do the component interior the 1st place. quicker or later you need to placed your self interior the area of in all likelihood getting very harm. you could in basic terms wish the different guy or woman does not go with to harm you. you need to bare in techniques additionally that many human beings forgive for his or her own sake. It brings them a level of peace. Somethings are unforgiveable however and for my section should not be forgiven. you could in basic terms attempt to reconcile your self to such issues. now and lower back there are circumstances which make an action much greater comprehensible. placed your self as easily as you could into the different guy or woman's footwear and choose their strikes from that attitude. it relatively is incredibly sparkling what their motive grow to be.
2016-12-11 05:49:53 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
slow down a little.you both are working too much,what you two need is some r and r ,so you two just take a weekend off and dont worry about things back home and go out for the weekend and have some fun,rent a hotel room,swim,horseback ride,go on a picnic,and so forth.what you two are doing is burning yourselves out.
2006-08-09 08:54:56 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to spend some time apart. Instead hanging out with him call up some girlfriends. Discuss it with him and if he really loves you he will understand. Believe me alone time will do wonders.
2006-08-09 17:31:32 · answer #6 · answered by wesonix 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seriously! Get over yourself, moron.
2006-08-09 07:33:40 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
wtf
2006-08-09 07:51:11 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋