My stepmother once punished me for the whole summer because i got into a fight...After that i was on punishment a whole lot...from things i do not even remember push come to shove and i left i couldn't take it anymore i felt like a prisioner....now i hear my lil sister is on punishment for the whole summer...I hear all the time when you have kids you will understand but i dont think this is normal...how about speaking to your kids...
2006-08-09 07:16:54 · 22 answers · asked by Cassie 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's not necessary to punish a child on restriction for that long. I remember when i was younger my dad restricted me for the whole summer because I failed a class. I think that communication is important. I am a mom and that works for me and my child. He gets things taken away but never restricted. If the parent can't speak with their children then distrust will happen and can result in a child who will become out of control.
2006-08-09 07:25:17 · answer #1 · answered by Kit Cat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Who is to define "normal"? I have two daughters, ages 11 and 8. I personally would NEVER punish them for more than a week. If it was something that they have constantly been in trouble for in the past, than maybe a month. But the whole summer? I'm sure you know that the child will resent their parent for taking away their entire summer vacation. Don't forget, that when your child is punished, so are you. Sometimes punishment is not the answer. It is SOOOOOO important to TALK TO YOUR KIDS!!! About anything and everything...even if it makes you uncomfortable or bored. You need to listen to their feelings in order to determine what the cause of the negative behavoir is. Kids act up for a reason.
2006-08-09 14:25:42 · answer #2 · answered by Babs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your stepmother is not doing so well as a"stepmother" Talk to your Dad about how you feel-he may help you better understand things, or even lift the grounding and have a 'chat' with her about fairness. I wish you the best, and I am sorry to hear that she is like that. Just remember to be respectful to her even if you don't like her- your Dad loves her. Does she have children of her own? Do they get the same treatment? If she doiesn't have her own kids that may be why she delivers such a rediculously drawn out punishment. (no experience) Keep in mind also, that she may not realize she is being too harsh. She may believe in her mind that she is diciplining you to the best of her ability.
2006-08-09 14:28:12 · answer #3 · answered by vhcsmamma 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You say your stepmother. Where is your father? It sounds like a "Cinderella" story to me. Is your mother around? Could she step in and help the situation?
You should have a heart to heart talk with your stepmother, father and other siblings. Take turns voicing your dislikes as well as likes about what is going on in the house. Keep your cool though as you don't want a yelling match to break out.
Also remember when we are young certain things aren't important but as we become more mature with age mean a whole lot more. Think about what triggers your stepmother and try to respect her wishes.
Its just as hard for her to be a "substitute/step mother" as you the "substitute/step daughter". Try building a friendship with her, if you love your father and your father lovers your step mom she can't be that bad. Can she?
Good Luck
2006-08-09 14:33:51 · answer #4 · answered by Pamela M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LOL@ speaking to your kids! You still don't have any do you? You laid your hands on another person with the intention of doing them harm!! There is NO excuse for that, what do you think your 'punishment' is for doing it now?? In fact you are lucky you weren't charged with assault and didn't end up in a juvenile facility where you would certainly have gotten more than talked to!! Your stepmother probably figured if you want to act like a criminal she was going to let you know what it was like to be treated as one! I would! No way I would tolerate my kids attempting to cause bodily harm to another human being! Speaking to your kids can work for some things, but if there are no consequences except for that someone might TALK to you what is your incentive to behave. I don't think you should view it as being on punishment, I think that the way you should see it is that your behavior was so out of line that you lost priveleges and you lost the trust of your parents therefore your life changed, you have nobody to blame for that but yourself. Now that you are on your own what happens if you 'break the rules', NOW the consequences are prison, nobody is going to 'talk' to you about how naughty you are and then send you off to do it again. Sounds to me like you were stepmother was trying to prepare you for real life and make you realize that ONE mistake can and often does create enormous changes in your life and you will be held responsible for that. Don't you see the little kids today? Running around like wild animals, yelling and screaming, treating people (including their parents) like crap and shooting each other? Why do you think that is? I think its because people 'talk' to them and therefore they have no real consequences for their actions. Please don't become a parent until you understand this concept, the world doesn't need anymore spoiled brats that think they can get away with murder and behave like animals and under your theory that is exactly what you would raise, please spare us all!
2006-08-09 14:26:51 · answer #5 · answered by dappersmom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't punish my kids for a whole summer that makes no damn since to me. They would eventually get on my nerves being at home all the time. Plus I don't want kids that stay home all the time, they need to be out in the social world. Your step mother must have something against you kids to do something so stupid like that.
2006-08-09 14:21:59 · answer #6 · answered by lillady 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Punishment is usually done because parents or adults love you... they dont want you to get into worst trouble then you already been in... They punish with the intend of making you learn from your mistakes,not to hurt you but to help you in the long run, and yes it is true once you're grown up you will know why we/they did it... I`m living proof
2006-08-09 14:28:17 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
my friend's eldest son got caught stealing and vandalizing with some other kids - you know, he kinda followed along and got busted.
yeah, he got punished for a while - at least six months. he was older when this happened, though - i think about 14? and he couldn't play school sports again ever. (i think that was probably the worst part for him.)
so yeah, in some cases a long-term punishment does make sense, depending on the infraction.
2006-08-09 14:21:52 · answer #8 · answered by kwanyin_mama 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I always felt, let the punishment fit the crime...having 5 children, if I punished them all for the summer..."who would be punished here"....The Lord, whom I look to for answers to everything, including child rearing....showed me that the purpose of punishing a child is to show her/him the error of his way...to then spank or hand out punishment...(wk w/o television ect) is to make the think, and remember what it is they did...and the ultimate ending to this is "restoration"...not "anialation"....we are to bring them back to us fully restored...explain what they did, the consequences of what they did...and why we feel they needed punishment...and not to have hateful feelings when all is said and done...Now, none of us are perfect....but I would think a month is a bit harsh for any offense...(not requiring Juvenile detention?) Best of everything
2006-08-09 14:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by diane b 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on how serious the "crime" was. Like if the kid pushed somebody, they don't deserve to be grounded for 2 weeks. Now if they went out and got drunk and used drugs, then yes I would say it qualifies. And it also depends on how responsible you believe the kids are. If they are responsible and genuinely say they won't do it again, lighten up the punishment.
2006-08-09 14:21:00 · answer #10 · answered by banana_splitt00 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋