i am in relation with an guy. and i am v possesive. i want everything according to me.and wen i dont get things my way.i get frustrated angry . nd even blackmail my love. but i realise it after some time that i have done wrong?wat should i do?
2006-08-09 07:01:59 · 25 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
You should probably seek some kind of counselling - I have seen this behaviour in my Dad (my mom went through alot of his bullsh*t), but after he realized that he was causing more harm than good, he went for counselling. Although once in a while he will still show signs of his former self, he has become a better person on the whole.
2006-08-09 07:05:58 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy O 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you describe says you're not ready for a relationship. There is a LOT of compromise to be made in a relationship, and you're not ready to do that yet. You're still in a place where you believe the world revolves around you. In order to make a relationship work there has to be a LOT of compromise.
Possessiveness is a sign of insecurity. You should seek therapy to find out why you have a low self esteem about yourself, and learn how to work through it. We all have feelings of unworthiness at times, but if it is a constant feeling, then something is wrong.
--- Someone in a relationship with a person who is possessive will inexorably leave that possessive person because they feel "pushed" to do so. Possessiveness actually does just the opposite of what you want. It drives people away.
Being unable to control your anger towards your partner is a maturity issue, a therapist and life experience can help with this. Anger is also usually a mask for Fear of something as well. Consider what you fear, and realize that it may be motivating you to anger.
You may also suffer from a "controlling" personality. You'll have to learn to let go of things emotionally, and very soon, or you'll turn into someone that nobody can stand to be around.
--- Someone in a relationship with a person who has a controlling personality will often Cheat on that person or simply leave them to get away from them.
Medicating these problems is not the correct way to go, Therapy is. A regular doctor will misdiagnose this as Bipolar disease or depression, and unless you spend a lot of time feeling hopeless/helpless and disengaged from the people/things around you, you probably do not suffer from anything like this. ---Doctors tend to prescribe pills for everything. A therapist will only recommend medication if they really believe you need it.
Medications for this type of thing, at best, will only allow you to take a step back and examine your problems and give you time to work through them on your own, but they are not meant as a solution in and of themselves.
2006-08-09 07:06:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi Dev. First of all try to enhance in ur mind what the other person is saying. If u r unable to think at that time u just start counting 1....2.......3.....4....................... really works. I hav tried this. Second thing is that u just move away from that person which is making u angry or start palying some mobile game or something like taht or began to eat. Third thing u can try to permanently remove frustration and botheration from ur mind is u meditate. U can find many ites which teach how to meditate. Spend at least half an hour a day in meditation. Fourth thing u can talk to ur friends, parents or whom u like the best to talk with. Express ur feelings to the world. It reduces the burden from ur heart. If u like these remedies plz choose this the best answr. Have a nice day. Bye
2016-03-27 05:25:22 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Kiddo, you don't have a problem with anger. Your problem is that you are a spoiled, selfish, manipulative brat. If you can't care enough for your partner in this relationship to consider his needs and desires it will soon go away, and you will be left bitter and miserable. Work on sharing and playing nice. Think of somebody besides youself.
2006-08-09 07:13:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, it all comes down to choice. You've realized that being demanding and possessive doesn't work well in relationships. Change your behavior. It's really that simple. You are in control.
Recognize that your frustration isn't really with the other person.
You are desperately needy. That's what needs to change, and it looks like you're ready for it! Way to go!
2006-08-09 07:11:31 · answer #5 · answered by rebecca r 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You might want to look into Anger-management. I have been through this. It really helped me a lot. Ask some people you trust to call you out on your behavior when you start acting up.
You also should look into what lies beneath these feelings of anger and insecurity. It usually is fear of something.
Good luck-I hope you can manage to help yourself.
2006-08-09 07:09:00 · answer #6 · answered by April G 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, ask Jesus into your heart and when anger wants to take over let Jesus take over instead and let HIm handle the situation. God is in control, you don't need to be. Something in your life probably made you feel out of control, someone hurt you or something, but you don't need to still feel that way.
2006-08-09 07:06:38 · answer #7 · answered by Freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Arrange to go to anger management through your doctor. It sounds like you need to deal with yourself before you can deal with a partner in a relationship. Find and love yourself before you find and love another. Good luck!
2006-08-09 07:17:24 · answer #8 · answered by Babs 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to anger management programs that will help you deal with your anger and maybe a doctor to help you cope all together .
2006-08-09 07:07:04 · answer #9 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
honestly, what helps me to let go of my anger is praying to God about it everyday...you might want to talk to someone close to you about your anger, like a parent or an adult you trust...be careful anger can ruin your health and relationships....whatever you do don't hold it in and stop wanting to be so in control of people and things (no offense meant). good luck
2006-08-09 07:08:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋