Why does a husband talk about previous girls he did not date and regrets that he didn't to his wife?

Question

It has been two times already that my husband talks to me about girls that were or are pretty that he really wanted to date, but for stupid reasons he didn't, he says. He is always describing them to me, and of course they are not similar to me. I am not an ugly person or a "fatty". The only thing I found that he points out to me is that I have brown skin. I'm mexican. These two girls that he talked about have light skin or light hair. I don't why he is doing that. Honeslty, he is not a handsome guy. I am 25 and he is 35. He always comes with this kind of conversations out of the blue. I feel like he regrets being with me, or that he feels like he should have had better. I had guys who are very handsome wanted to date me when I was dating him, but I don't shove it to his face. What's wrong with him? or With me?

Answer 1

I don't know this man is thinking. Doesn't he realize how much he is hurting you. If not, I would tell him. I mean if he has regrets about other women, he should keep it to hisself. That's not a thing to share with the woman you promised to love, honor, and cherish for the rest of your life. That's not love, or honor, or cherishing you. That's mental mind game. There is nothing wrong with you. I don't know what his problem is, but you need to tell how much this distrubes you. We all have people in the past, but you don't rub into the spouse's face. Ask him if he's happy with you...be prepared if you don't like the answer, but at least you will know what he is feeling. You said he was 35, that's something a teenager would do trying to make their girlfriend jealous. Maybe that is what's wrong, maybe he needs for you to be jealous. that he's feeling unwanted, and instead of telling you that he needs a little more attention-he's trying to get you to thinking he could have all these women, but he choose you. Insecurties can make you do some pretty stupid things, that's what I think, he thinks you might be taking him for granted, or he's afaird he's going to lose you to a good looking younger man. Try playing him more attention, and talk to him. Tell him that he's your husband, and you want him to stay that way. Please give some serious thought to the fact that he just maybe scared of losing you. God bless us all..............

Answer 2

I had a miscarriage also and was terrified when they said congratulations you are having twins. I am now 30 weeks pregnant with no complications. Just tell her to rest and the babies will be fine. Plenty of people have multiple births. You'll get a doctor who will take good care of her. Tell her she will be giving your other children more siblings. You have been blessed with twins and all you can do is tell her what a miracle you have received. She'll lose the babies if she terminates them. Just because she decides doesn't mean she'll lose them. They can be born small but they will be born strong and fight. Hope all goes well.

Answer 3

This is male menopause which does actually happens. When they approach 40 they are suddenly aware that they didn't get where they expected to be. I loved Dudley Moore and his wife's dealing with it or was it ??? oh I forget but they decided to enjoy his menopause and enabled him together. They went together and visited old girlfriends and buddies and bought him a red convertible and did really anything that he had a whim for. He said it ... oh it was Richard Dreyfus's... ha. anyway, they had a wonderful gay time of it and their marriage survived as they joked about it. I had a man that wanted to do that but he wouldn't tell his wife. I made him go home and tell her and then come visit. I think it worked better for them but they both decided not to visit me.... but thank goodness I knew what was happening. Try it... it can be fun. But keep the budget. If he wants a new sports car... sell something and enough for it or set that as one of the goals. Go fishing, he may even change jobs but if both of you are working at his whims... at least you won't go completely broke unawares. It's the what ifs.... grin. have fun.

Answer 4

Nothings wrong with u , or him, is he actually "Shoving it " in your face.. like.. MAN i sure do wish i would of dated these other girls while i was dating u.. is he being that cruel? if so then yeah he's being an azz.. But my husband talks to me all the time about girls wayyyyyyyyy before me that he wished he would of had the guts to talk to , like when he was in High School.. or even a young adult.. but i dont get offended by it.. because that was way before i entered the picture and i know he doesnt mean as oposed to me, i just think he realizes his shyness got in the way when he was younger.. He married u for a reason.. and im sure that reason wasnt just because your pretty, but because of who u are.. those girls, if they even wanted him back, would of been nothing but a Quest to conquer sexually.. nothing more.. So how offensive this is.. is really depending in the context that he's saying this to u , is it about girls from along time ago , or girls since u entered the picture, and if he wanted them so bad, he would of gone after them but he didnt.. If this bothers u so badly talk to him about it, and let him know it hurts ur feelings to hear about him wanting other girls.. but id hope he's not doing it in an intentional hurtful way.. because that would be wrong.. but if he's just talking to u as if u are his "friend" and talking about when he was younger and before u.. just say , Ha ha tuff luck for u buddy, u ended up with me lol.. or even try once in awhile to say , Yep i had this one guy, he was buff, hot, sexy , smart, rich, ect ect.. and omg he was great in bed, u should of seen the bod on him.. really ham it up, and see how he likes it when u talk about other people

Answer 5

nothing is wrong with you, you are being very thoughtfula nd at the same time somewhat disrespected. you might want to ask him is there something he feels he is missing and look him in the eye with the need and want for an honest answer.

tell him you don't and haven't shared the guys that have eyeballed you down because you are happy with him. ask is there an attraction you haven't fulfilled. you gotta kind of put himon the spot so he'll possibly see how obvious and underhanded he is being.

Answer 6

Sound like maybe he is trying to over compensate for his insecurity. Maybe he wants to remind you that beautiful women have wanted to date him so you will feel lucky to have him and not notice that you may have been able to attract a more handsome gentleman. I would probably just say well if you had dated them you wouldn't have ended up married to a wonderful girl like me. Then if it continued I would ask him if he is having second thought about your marriage.

Answer 7

Yikes!
Sounds as if there are some issues..with both of you! To put it quite frankly, thats messed up to be talking about other women in front of your wife. Id call him on it.

Secondly, I am curious as to why you mentioned that he wasnt attractive? Was this to affirm that you were indeed good looking? What someone looks like on the outside has nothing to do with who they are on the inside.

Sounds as if you both need to have a talk.

Answer 8

Next time he brings it up,tell him you're willing to set him free. Bring up about the other guys too. I think you should tell him, if he think the grass is greener on the other side of the the fence, go an jump the fence! Let him know if he does jump, he can't come back. Then go find a guy who really loves you.

Answer 9

you guys need to work on communicating better --- tell your husband how it makes you feel when he's talking about the other girls he wished he'd of dated....
If He still brings up the subject - tell him he may get the chance to date them because you aren't going to tolerate hearing about them any longer --- spell DIVORCE out to him .

Answer 10

He need to grow up!! I would tell him flat out to stop talking about other girls!! That he is hurting you!! Then, ask him if he want to stay married to you!! You have to bring everything out in the open, you shouldn't have to put up with his childish crap!!! You deserved better and tell him so!!