looking for advise?

Question

I am seven weeks pregnant it wasnt planned as i was on the pill
the advice im looking for is weather i should have an abortion or not my boyfriend dosnt want anything to do with the baby but i do i have always wanted kids.I was brought up in foster care so i have no family to help i am trying to start my buisness up i have 9 dogs im 20 years old . Having an abortion will please quite a few people including my bf but having the baby will dissapoint a lot of people i am torn between this as i would love to keep my baby. Do you think i will cope or is an abortion the best thing to do i have been to my doctor and she is phoning me with an appointment for abortion she is giving me a few days to think about it im so confuised

By the way im not totally sure weather i can support the baby money wise should i take the chance and have the baby or do wats best

Please no daft answers this is serious i dont want to regret this decision thats why im looking for help

Answer 1

Oh Sara, what a pickle!!

First of all, you need to think about what's best for you.
You sounds like you have already decided to keep your baby, you are just looking for someone to agree with your choice.
Don't worry about the bf, he sounds like he's a waste of space anyway - if he didn't want a baby, he should of kept it in his trousers. It's a well known fact that the pill isn't 100% safe.

You have to look at yourself in 5 years time... what do you want to do and will a baby settle in with your plans?
If not what would you do?

If don't have your baby, will you be thinking about what it's laugh would've sounded like, what colour hair it would've had, what you would've called him or her.

It is a very hard and emotional choice you have to make, I hope that you choose the right one. Whichever it is, you have to make sure that you make it the right choice for you and no-one else or you could really regret it.

Good luck and take good care Sara

Lou x

Answer 2

Well I was in the same boat you were not too long ago. ( I'm 5 1/2 months now). I am also only 20 and my boyfriend wanted nothing to do with the baby and wanted me to have an abortion. I thought about it and decided against. I was young and scared but I knew having an abortion I would regret it and always wonder what my baby would look and be like. I figured either I would be a single mother or my bf would get used to the idea. He eventually did and he is so excited now and it has actually brought us closer. You CAN do it on your own though and someone else will come along and love you and your child. Do what you want...this is a huge decision and it's one only you can make. Feel free to email me...I love talking about this stuff and if you need help with anything. Good luck! Everything will work out. I know it's scary now but you'll be fine. I am! There are some places that can help you financially.

Answer 3

This is a difficult time for you, only you know in your own mind if you can make the right dissision for you. I used to be anti abortion, untill I was put into that situation, yes I did have regrets, but I made the right choice for that time in my life, and now say no one can judge untill they have been there, so don't listen to all these pro and against people,
Having a child is hard, moreso if you are going to raise it alone, it's not just about money, its many other things, you will need support from your mates and family, having a baby is wonderful, but remember they are not babies for long, and they are not always that bundle of joy at 5 in the morning when you've only had 2 hours sleep. If you are prepared to give your all to this child go for it, be a wonderful mother, your life has to take a back seat for quite a few years, they need to come first in everyway, if not, don't do it. There are pros and cons. Only you can decide.
Good luck with what ever you choose xxx
ps. If you do go ahead think you may need to get rid of the dogs, or at least 7 of them,hygine and safety issues

Answer 4

I had an abortion a year ago feb. I was alone in college, partner told me he would leave if I had the baby... I didn't know if I'd cope, I felt alone and like it was all people wanted... it was the biggest mistake of my life. because I listened to my head, my fears, then I saw other people around me with newborns about the time I was due, other people coping. It mearly killed me all I wanted was a family, then I realised, I never listened to my heart!!!

Anyway 6 month later I got pregnant again... this time I did what was right I had a healthy boy, Thomas, and he's the best ever thing to happen to me EVER. I do regret what I did but I'm soooo happy now I cope. he's everything to me and I making the most of every second with him!!! You have the rest of your life to set up a buisness. You get rid of this child then no other child will replace it . trust me i know. people will help you, your boyfriend will prob change, if he doesn't he's not much of a man not to stick by his own flesh and blood.

Im a single mum now on income support. I manage ok. trust me there's more support out there than you releise.

yeah you need the essentials and things but love is all you need on top of that. I make sock puppets and stuff to entertain my 4 month old...

I hope everything turns out ok for you whatever you decide. good luck and best wishes whatever you do... xxx

Answer 5

I do not think an abortion is the right decison for you. You never know. You may not be able to have children down the road. This is definitely a decision that no one should make for you, and it was inappropriate for your doctor to try and make an appointment for you to have an abortion. You should have received counseling first, as well as information about development of the fetus. This is required by law. If you have any doubts about your decison to abort, you will never be the same afterward. Many people who are perfectly alright with their decison are deeply and emotionally scarred for life after having an abortion. This is a decison that needs to be weighed very carefully, and keep in mind that some of the best supports many people have in their lives are not family members!!! It would be wise to go to a crisis pregnancy center and receive counseling before making your decison. Be very careful about this. This decision is terribly permanent. There is no going back. The best of luck to you! Also, the BF sticking around should not be a consideration in your decision. He already chose by taking the chance to have a child, and he may not have stayed around forever anyway!!! Some men come around later, but don't count on this. The best of luck to you!

Answer 6

i had an abortion 3 years ago when i was 20 & i felt it was the right decision at the time having no family / bf support.

however i would be lying if i said i dont think about the child i could have had every day.

i think you have to do a lot of soul searching & crying - god knows i cried a lot but somehow i found the strength to make my decision.

some days even now i don't know if i really made the right decision but you just cope with it by focusing on other things i guess.

i know this probably won't help you but i've been there & no how hard it is. you aren't alone xxx

Answer 7

Abortion is killing a child that did not ask to be conceived. That is wrong. You laid down and had sex and knew what the consequences could be (a baby, STD or AIDS) so deal with it. If you cannot keep the baby then at least give it up for adoption, do not kill it. There are lots of people out there who are not lucky enough to have a baby on their own and always looking for one to adopt. Babies are not disposable can just be thrown away or killed just like just because one is not prepared for it...anytime you have sex protected or not the main thing in the back in your mind should be is the what if I get pregnant or get a disease or even AIDS.

So do what is right and give that child to a loving family if you feel you cannot do it.

Answer 8

It's dammed hard trying to start a business up and have children (been there) You eventually start to feel guilty that you can't devote enough time to the child. You don't get to see them grow up in the vital early years. Having a kid is tyring if you do it on your own. Your BF is plonker as he forgot he was 50% part responsible for the baby. A business can put a great strain on familly life if you haven't got his support there is a large chance your ideas will fail.
Maybe you need to sit him down and discuss the future (the baby's, the business and HIS!)

I personally think your a little young or you wouldn't be asking this question. These days it's better to get yourself set up for family life rather than struggling through it.

I know this hasn't helped much but remember " do what your heart tells you" you'll survive what ever choice you make.

Good luck and god bless.

Answer 9

You know the final decision is yours. You've basically listed a lot of negative points and not so many positive points. If you feel in your heart that an abortion is what's best then have one. However you need to consider the advantages and disadvantages of having an abortion as well. Therefore before its too late I would suggest you investigate some of these abortion clinics in your area. Knowledge is key. So get knowledgeable. You don't want to get rid of this baby and find out in the future that that prevented you from ever having one because of the mistake of trying to please everyone around you. So do this for yourself and be VERY CAUTIOUS.

Answer 10

No one can tell you what to do, it's totally your decision. If you want your baby then go for it , it will be hard but you'll get through it. I was in the same situation as you but i was 17, it was a very rough ride but I'm glad i did it because now i have a wonderful 8 yr old son. Having an abortion is hard and you need to make sure your strong enough because this decision will stay with you forever


good luck xxx

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