Why do adults underestimate teens?

Question

I've seen plenty of adults say stuff like "You're 14, you shouldn't be dating" or "How do 12 year olds even know what sex is?" I understand that teens can ask stupid questions and also try to grow up too fast, but we're not stupid. Most teens by 14 are mature enough to start dating and we know whats going on. Most people have to start learning sex ed in elementary school! Does anyone else agree with me on this?

Most parents are looking out for the best for their child, but sometimes they don't listen to them and misunderstand them.

Answer 1

I do agree that most adults underestimate what teens know and do. I think the bigger issue is our experience tells us that some teens, not all, may not have the experience to know the full ramifications of using the knowledge they have. To know what sex is or to be having sex doesn't mean you can truly appreciate what being a pregnant teen can mean to your future or the experience to understand the emotional issues that may go into a relationship or how your actions may be turned against you if the relationship goes bad. It goes back to the saying..."If I had only known then what I know now..." We just sometimes don't relay our experience to you in the best way...

Answer 2

Its not a matter of underestimation it is a matter of maturity. I have kept my diaries from when I was a teenager and honestly I think that the girl back then was stupid, immature and I would not trust in making any decisions. The thing is, is that as you get older you start to see things differently. Do you still see the world as you did when you were 5 years old? No, because you have grown. When you look at a movie the second time dont you always see things that you hadnt notice before... Its the same thing with life... At 14 you can be trusted with somethings but not most...

Answer 3

Complex question actually.

I'm way way past being a teenager and when my friends explode about their kids, it's rather funny.

Yes, you guys are mature and far more "street-wise" than we ever were. But the adults in your lives love and care for your well-being. They fret about things that sometimes never happen to you and lets face-it, the world can be scary especially the people in it.

The reports that filter back ... well they're alarming.

There is also the little matter of a conscience - adults may well be older, but they do remember the things they got up to as kids. The troubles, dramas, near-misses, heartaches etc and they want to protect you from it for the most part. As for admitting to these to their own kids - now come on?

Give them time, they'll reluctantly let you grow up.

Answer 4

Trust me, when you look back when you are older you will see why adults say the things they do. I remember my way of thinking when I was 14 years old and I still have my diaries and poems I wrote and I know now that I was being immature. Preteens and teenagers just don't think ahead to the future and your brain mentally can not predict the consequences of your actions. It seems like adults are treating you unfairly, but until you grow up a little and see with a clearer mind, you can not think that adults think you are all stupid. Just give it some time.

Answer 5

We...as in, adults (I'm 44 and have 3 children 14, 17 and 1) know perfectly well that a 14 year old should know about sex etc. We tell you (or I did mine at a very early age) AND get notified from the school if/when you have sex ed.....we arent stupid either.

It doesnt mean we should support your having sex or even dating though because UNTIL you get past the puberty thing...you cannot get empathy/logic/responsibility behind having a child (main human reason for having sex). What is the point of dating so young if you have school and friends to take up the vast majority of your time?

Sex feel good...ug. People like to feel good...ug. Little boys like to tell their friends about woman who puts out and makes their manhood feel good....urgggh. Other guys want her to make them feel good...but she doesnt fancy them...ohh. Men hunters feel bad being rejected by woman who puts out. Not feeling so good on womans part as her lovey/sexy frame of mind goes to feeling eeewww...as mans boys come on to her or say bad things about her.

Look...main thing is...if you put out a lot, boys/men will see you as fair game (we are all animals right?) If you hold on to what you have, the virginity thing and wait a few years...until you get your frontal lobe section in order (you will know this when you start understanding your parents)...AND you actually like the boy you started getting feelings for.....and dated him for a while and feel that he loves you too...it will mean a whole lot more for you (self esteem wise and to tell the tale in later years) than giving it up for some pimply cheeked or old creep that talked you into it.

We know what you are up against. We may not know how to go into minute details....so we cop out and say the lamest things. Why dont you be creative and read MORE into our lame words...you being so much smarter and knowledgeable than we are?

Answer 6

I COMPLETELY AGREE!!! Im 15 and my parents think i am completely oblivious, they thought that "i dont even like boys in that way" and when they did they were like "OMG WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO? SHE IS TOTALLY GOING TO HAVE SEX AND GET PREGNANT!!" When im not, that is so not me! And whats funny is basically since summer break started i have been spending basically everyday with the same guy, my parents say "awww thats cute" whenever i leave with him, yet they think i havent dated, and everyday this summer i have been with one guy or another, we go to the park, we go to the movies, we go see someplays and such, and my parents think i have never dated. They know i know whats going on, but they are so clueless that they think i am clueless

Answer 7

Look at it this way when the time comes for you to have children..youll be doing the same thing we do, trying to protect them from harms way, teenage pregnancies, Stds, Aids, and so forth. How are you gonna feel if your 14 year old daughter came to you and said mommy Im pregnant and the guy that got me pregnant wont have anything to do with me!!! Think about it Im sure you dont want to hear that from you babies when the time comes

Answer 8

I agree with you, but you have to understand that most teens aren't that responsible. I mean, look at how many pregnancies there's been. Look how many teens are infected with AIDS. And look at how many teens drop out of school.
So yeah, it's understandable to why parents are overprotective of their teen like that.
The generations just keep getting worse and worse.

Answer 9

I agree, but then I disagree. I'm only 15 but can tell you right now, EVERYTHING your parents tell you is right, I've tested the theory so many times only to find out that they are always right in whatever they say to us. It's a curse.

Answer 10

yes 200%