How can I conquer my fear of going to a bar by myself?

Question

I've never gonne to a bar by myself, always with girlfriends or a group of friends, but never alone.
I love to travel, and sometimes I travel just by myself but I can't bring myself to go to a club or bar just by myself! I panic!!! I've tried forcing myself by getting all dolled-up and going, but I just pass the club and go back to my hotel. I hate this "handicap" what are your suggestion to getting over this fear?
PS. i'm not a shy peson at all, I'm very extroverted...

Answer 1

I went through the same thing last year when I moved across the country by myself. I went to bars that were small and sat at the bar, not a table. And I sat where I could gaze at the tv, even if I couldn't hear it. The bartender always talked to me. Don't go at a busy time at first, that will make you more nervous. Go at a slow time so you feel more comfortable. Good luck and have fun!

Answer 2

Maybe have a drink first to loosen up and go in their with a plan. I think that your fobia might be all the guys hitting on you. That can happen any where. If you really want to go into a club just go in and sit right at the bar so you can scan the place or start out by meeting someone there and get there ahead of them so you will be alone for a little bit before they arrive

Answer 3

Maybe try reducing the amount of people you go with over a certain amount of time, say a month. Every week reduce the amount of people you go with my one or two until you go with only one person.. then once you get to the bar, spend as LITTLE time with that person as possible, socialise by yourself and maybe get your friend to leave the bar half an hour or so before you do and maybe go get something to eat or something so you can know what it feels like to exit the bar by yourself. Then maybe the next time arrange to meet them inside the bar an hour or so after they enter it. It might be worth a try?

Answer 4

It really is just a matter of getting yourself through the door.
I do have this same problem,even in places where I know people.
Don't get all dolled up unless that is how you usually dress.
Get comfortable.Walk right in and sit at the bar.Order your drink and if possible sit within eye distance of a TV to give yourself something to do until you are comfortable.
It is very hard but once in you will relax.

Answer 5

Uhm, just go?

Facing your fears is the quickest way to get past them. You could also try going to a real busy area - the strip of the town/city - and get out of the car and walk up and down the walk until you get comfortable.

One thing I've noticed girls do is: they find a random victim and hang out with him and his group, but continue to leave the group to go dancing w/ everyone, have fun, etc; but when they need to sit down they come back and flirt w/ the victim a little and get back in the group real easy.

Answer 6

I think that the ray of hope in this situation is that you love them and anyone can tell that you will always be there for them. You cannot change the early years of their lives, but you show great understanding, and have turned your similar upbringing to develop a great understanding of others' fears as well as setting goals for yourself and achieving them. I suspect that very soon you will be able to broach the subject with your father as to how his harsh approach affected you, as you are now strong enough to take that step. Probably he experienced the same harsh treatment in his own childhood and it is all he knows. I also feel that although you have been hurt by his behaviour you have the strength to forgive him and draw a line under it, as your own strength has made you the man you are. Your young brothers will become closer and closer to you, and your strength will be a shining example to them. Very soon, your father will appear older and less effective to them, and as they gain independence they will have each other and you to become the strongest and closest family members. They will have the maturity to rationalise their fears and this will make them kind and approachable people who will be able to empathise with those of us who need support. ALWAYS be there for them, listen to them and share your feelings with them, Find out even silly things that make them laugh, as laughter is a great healer. Encourage their friendships with their peer group, but do be careful that they do not get bullied. Help them develop their talents. Good luck, you sound like the sort of elder brother every kid should have !!

Answer 7

Have your friends meet you at the bar. You can go in by yourself if you know they are already inside. If you keep this up, you will have no fear. One night you will walk into a bar to find your friends and they aren't there. See, you finally conquered your fear.

Answer 8

i never done that before. you should have a buddy with you because sometimes you might gotten into a difficult situtation and needs buddy's help. if you all alone that is hard. there might be a reason why inside of you "panic" . listen to yourself. is going to the bar yourself worth let say "pain " it might cause you later?

Answer 9

Sit next to someone, eventually there will be conversation.. You will get comfortable unless it is a pervert. Most of the time people just go to unwind after work. be careful.

Answer 10

Wow! I wish I had the confidence to travel alone. But going to a bar by yourself is dangerous. Anyone could drug you, rape you and leave you for dead. Going to a bar alone is a bad idea.