have you ever felt as if you have to leave the person you love , but cant imagine life without them ?

Question

have you ever been inlove with a person, who you knew you have to leave as they are horrible, abusive and using, although this is the next step that you are going to take and their is no going back, you cant imagine life without them, although they treat you like ****. How did you overcome those feelings? and why do I feel that way? (my other half an me have a child and are married, but dont live together)
thankyou to you all

Answer 1

first of all, u need to accept that u have done Nothing wrong. u loved, committed, trusted, and took care of this person. regardless of his actions, his negativity, his attitude towards u, good or bad, u loved him. that is AWESOME. u should really be proud of urself. however, the next thing is this: if u are such a wonderful wife and mother, WHY is someone treating u like garbage? is he any better than you? Yes u love him, that's not the problem. the problem is that he doesn't appreciate you. he doesn't care enough to change to satisfy Your needs, when your life is trying to satisfy his. that is NOT a healthy relationship, even if u love him and he loves u. he needs to Take Care of you. make u safe, secure, loved, and supported in all ur needs in order to deserve a woman like u. if he doesn't, then it's not that YOU failed.. it's that you put in your 100% and got nothing in return. that's not ur fault.. u can't control him. but u can ask him to work with you and grow with you; if he says "no", then that's HIS decision to let the marriage fail. accept that, and if u truly love him, let him go.. so he can find help. so he can find someone who makes him want to change.. don't blame urself that u couldn't be the one to change him... perhaps he himself doesn't know what he needs, so how can u know? accept that it's not ur fault, but that u need to do what is right for u. u deserve to be happy, to be safe, and in a Healthy relationship. for your child too.

be Positive and Strong in ur confidence as a good woman, good person, good Wife, and set boundaries for what u want in a good Husband. that way, if someone disappoints u or hurts u, and doesn't try to change, then u will be strong enough to move on. filter out any negatives, and stick w/ the positive. that is how u will know u are in a healthy relationship, if u can work on the relationship, and know and trust that the guy is doing the same! if u cant' trust him to take care of you, there's not much of a relationship there. there may be Love, but not a Healthy Relationship, which is what u and ur children NEED. find someone who can satisfy that need, and work on urself, so u know u can satisfy his needs. good luck~

Answer 2

That happens all the time. even though someone abused you, doesn't mean you instantly fall out of love with this person. You just have to know what's best for you at this point. sounds like you have it together if you are already apart from him. no need to have your child witness abuse and using you or anyone else up, not a trait you'll want him to adopt. let him know you can love him without being with him. sometimes people bank on a person not wanting to leave because they know that person loves them. wrong! what they don't know is that you can move on in life, however it will hurt the person that did wrong because they know you love them but don't want to be with them. they'll be puzzled with how can you move on with someone else etc. when you love them. you have to be safe and share the abuse with a friend. abusers don't want you to speak out, it exposes them and if anything really serious ever goes down, they are automatically the prime suspect. if he is horrible, you can imagine life without him eventually, it just takes time. sounds like you feel sorry for him in a way.

Answer 3

I'm going through the same thing and i 'm taking one day at a time i cut off all communications and i'm focusing on myself and two kids its hard but it will get better. we deserve someone who will love us and make us feel safe and secure. And take a step back the next one you meet let them lead and you follow i think maybe we wont come out short like that. pray and good luck.