Me and my husband have been separated since DEC. of last year.
Since then, he has been involved in many aquaintances w different females(even ones that work at our in the same facility). I admit, I messed with one or two guys, but they don't work with us and have never seen my husband. Anyway, to make a long story short. Recently, I met this other guy, and he' sweet, I invited him over to my house for dinner, and to chill out w me. My husband pulls up to drop my brother off at my house(he's stayin w me), and my husband makes up an excuse to come inside my house(to use the restroom). He see's my friend layin on my couch, proceeds to the bathroom, and then left afterwards. the next day, my husband takes me out to lunch, wants to spend time w me( it's like 24/7), and now wants us to go to counceling. He is still some what involved with this other chic he had been messing with, but claims that he's done with her. Should we try to work things out? Or are we wishing on false hope?
2006-08-09 05:30:01 · 32 answers · asked by yelloerose07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
My husband initiated the separation. Initially we were supposed to be getting a divorce soon, thas why I have began to enter that single lif again. I never cheated on my husband while we were together. He supposedly hasn't either. I always wanted to work things out, but the last straw was when he began to get emotionally involved(and physically ofcourse) with another female, and began to put her before me. We always promised we wouldn't do that.
2006-08-09 06:47:41 · update #1
If u really want to work things out u can remember in ur vows they say for better or for worse.
2006-08-09 05:33:18 · answer #1 · answered by leenabootie 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think so because what he is doing unfortunately sounds like a "reflex" that men sometimes have. He'll probably treat you as if you are worth your weight in gold until he is sure that the other guy(s) is/are out of the picture. Then he'll likely turn on you. It's sad but there is usually a good reason that people should be apart and stay that way. He wants you as long as he sees that someone else has your attention. He likely loves the idea of you pining away for him at home...alone.
2006-08-09 05:45:42 · answer #2 · answered by Eboni 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like you both are playing games.... Which one of you stepped over the line to be with another person first? If it was you, then my thought is that if you loved your husband you wouldn't have done that to begin with. but if your husband stepped out on you with someone else only after you did it - it was pay back only! When you get married it means you truly love and respect the person and going out with other guys is so wrong for your relationship. Try hanging out with girlfriends instead of guys it will help make your husband feel there's a chance of making it work.
2006-08-09 05:42:44 · answer #3 · answered by Leila 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
seems like u too have made up ur minds on what it is u want. if u feel in ur heart that u want 2 work things out with ur husband, then yes u should honor ur vows. go 2 counseling r sit down & talk things out with him.
but i think u 2 really need 2 grow up, n a marriage a separation is ment to b a cool off period 2 find out how 2 save the marriage work things out on ur own then come back 2 eachother with a solution. not 2 go out & add more problems 2 what ever caused the separation, by seeing someone us.
2006-08-09 05:49:24 · answer #4 · answered by WhyNotMe 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep dreaming....lets say for you 2 the Dinner Date is never what you want.... 2nd time would be worse than the first...after the separation perhaps you both may need counseling, I think your husband needs it more than you....Lets finish it off and close...you need to move on you can do better....man is begging don't bother..
Good-Luck ! start a new beginning that you have been doing anyway.
2006-08-09 05:43:45 · answer #5 · answered by Carmen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look let bygones be bygones. He just seen that other man and got jealous of what he lost. And now he wants to keep you in check so you will be loyal to him, while he eats his cake. Just continue the way things are now. If he really wanted to be with you he would have did it along time ago before he saw you with another man. Sometimes people don't want other people to make us happy. Don't wait on that. U be happy and move on. Don't fall for that again.
2006-08-09 05:39:56 · answer #6 · answered by Nita C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd say he just didn't like it that you were able to find someone else. He was fooling around before, and he will continue to fool around. For all you know, he's told the other woman he's done with you too. I think you ought to try your luck with the new, sweet guy.
In my own experience, men do not change, they just SAY they will to get you to take them back. It doesn't last, and you are worse off than when you dumped them the first time.
2006-08-09 05:39:53 · answer #7 · answered by homebuyer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he is just acting on impulse. It sounds to me that he just feeling that way for a moment cause he didn't like seeing you with another guy. But the real question you should have is do you still have feelings for your husband as far as really wanting to be with him and no one else. If you still love her husband and i mean in love with your husband then you should follow your heart.
2006-08-09 05:39:37 · answer #8 · answered by raindrop_33 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
In my opinion if you still love him and he is willing and will go to counseling it is worth a try. Don't move back in together and take things slow. Once you start counseling guidelines will be set us for the two of you to follow. If he is simply blowing smoke and will not go to counseling and continue with is as long as needed then don't waste you time, get a divorce and go on with your life.
2006-08-09 05:37:52 · answer #9 · answered by looking for answers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What's the point of being married? It sounds like neither of you are mentally prepared for that kind of commitment. If your interest is still in "messing around," spend a few more years sewing your oats and give yourself time to grow up.
2006-08-09 05:34:55 · answer #10 · answered by Hotstepper 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Work it out,but,only with a last ditch effort in mind.Sounds like all he needed was a dose of reality.To see you with another man made him realize that he is not willing to give you up.Sometimes it takes an awakening.Consider thats what seeing your male friend did,... just that.Good luck to you both sweetie!
2006-08-09 05:40:12 · answer #11 · answered by sandy v 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋