Any good ideas on how to get my 12 mo old out of my bed and into his own????

Question

He was a sick alot when he was small and being a single mom this was my only way of getting some sleep so I could work the next morning now I am in a rut and want my own bed back!!! P.S. I am really not willing to let him cry it out seeing as I still have to work every day.....

Answer 1

I don't think the problems lays with him... but with you. Kids learn... and quickly. You just have to be patient... and put up with a lot of crying.

Put him in his bed... let him cry. If he gets up... put him back...

Don't read to him... don't give in to him...

I know this sounds cruel... but letting him sleep with you isn't any better. It will only go to spoil him further and neither of you will move forward in life.

If you're not willing to let him cry it out, then you're stuck.. because that's his way of arguing with you. And if you keep giving in, he knows THAT'S how to get what he wants.

What do you think this teaches him? Cry and I get what I want. is that what YOU want?

Trust me when I say that this will only lead to further concessions on your part.

It takes a few days... that's it... I promise.

... and he's not a 12-month old anymore... he's a one-year old. Calling him a 12-month old makes him still seem like a baby.

Answer 2

The answers above me are right. . . there is going to be crying. There always is when a change like this takes place.

However, a few tips may help the transition.

1.) Let the child fall asleep with you or even just lay with you until he is very drowsy and then move him to his own bed. He make wake up upset at first but he will get used to this soon.

2.) When he is used to being moved once he is asleep or drowsy begin sitting with him in his room as he falls asleep. When he is used to this start standing by the door as he falls asleep. Then move on to checking in on him every few minutes. And finally lay him in bed and leave. Check on him every 15 or so minutes until he is asleep. This takes longer than cold turkey but can be very effective.

3.) Something that might help is the mobile type machine that makes pictures on the ceiling. They usually also play music. This entertains the child so that he stays in bed and the music lulls him to sleep.

Hope this helps

Answer 3

Hunny, Here are some tips for making the permanent transition of a child sleeping in his/her own bed: The general idea is you want your child to absolutely LOVE his/her room and want to spend time in it! Depending on a child's nature, toddler beds can provide a nice transition between crib and twin. These beds often are available in theme designs, such as a race car or castle. Make sure your child can easily get in and out of bed and feels comfortable in it. Establish a memorable bedtime routine. The routine does not need to be elaborate; however, it should be something your child looks forward to each night and considers a special time. This can be as simple as reading a favorite book in a special part of the room, having a bath to soothing music, eating a snack and then brushing teeth, singing a favorite song, saying a prayer, exchanging highlights of the day, or even a special bedtime kiss-n-hug ritual. You must take your child to the bathroom before bedtime. Sometimes its the need to go to the bathroom that then causes the child to wake and then want company. Don't lie down with your child, or if you do, only stay for a brief time. You don't want your child to think he/she has to have someone lay down with him for sleep. Establish the rule that your child will now sleep in his/her own bed and make no exceptions. like tell him/her that have to pick the toy he/she want to sleep with in his/her own bed every night. Don't weaken to crying or whining. If you do, your child wins. Tell your child you are not going to keep coming in for kisses, hugs, discussion, begging, or pleading. Stick to this. If your child leaves the room, simply re-direct the child back without discussion. Show no weakness, or your child will know that this behavior results in a change. Finally, even if you are totally exhausted or its an unseemly hour of the night, walk your child back to his/her room immediately if you receive a visitor. Don't over-react or give to much attention; simply say, the rules are that you sleep in your own bed. Never compromise those values or give them up for any person or situation, even when it seems as though that the only way to get what you want, (Not to be bother, or because you don't wanna hear him/her cry or scream) You may win in to the short term by doing this, but never in the long run. You need to be strong, you have the ability and the strength, by doing this you will not hurt your child it will help you both. it will maybe take you a few weeks cuz he/she is little, but kids have young mind and it will learn quickly. You are the mother and you are in control. You must willing to make changes, not only for you, but for both. Your child's life is in your hand. Make it worth it.

Good Luck!!!

Answer 4

I have a friend who just recently had this same problem. She is a single mother of a four year old and she allowed her child to sleep with her all the way up until she was four. I'm sure you don't want to wait that long. But one day her little girl just walked up to her and said, "mommy can I sleep in my own bed tonight." My friend was completely shocked. I'm not saying wait that long but I do have some tricks that you can try. If your little boy ever takes naps during the day try putting him in his own bed to take a nap just so he is able to get use to the surroundes and get the feel for his own room. You have to do it gradually a little bit at a time, just putting him in his room and expecting him to sleep there isn't going to work. But a little here and there and then when you feel like he is ready then switch him over. Perhaps talk to him and persuade him that big boys sleep in his own beds.

Answer 5

Well I guess I'm the odd one out. I don't agree with anyone. My youngest is two now so what I do is go and lay down with her until she falls asleep. Then I go to our room ( my husband and I).
Sometimes she wakes up like around 3:30am and I give her a drink take her to the bathroom and let her come lay down with me.
I say he is still to young, all my kids slept with me until they were about two or three. Since it is just the two of you then I don't really see the big deal. The only reason why my daughter has her own bed now, is I got remarried; other wise we would be sharing a bed.
Another thing it seems like the "family bed" is taboo in western society in the eastern societies this is the norm.

Answer 6

You probably need to try a gradual approach. Get a crib or playpen and put it next to your bed. After your bedtime routine, put him in the bed and sing to him or pat his tummy or whatever. Gradually move him further away from your bed until he's in his own room (or far enough away from you that you can sleep peacefully). Also, try to have a good nap routine, too. It's counter intuitive, but a kid who is well rested is easier to put to bed than a kid who isn't. Your son is old enough that you can talk to him about this. Just say, "Mommy and you need to sleep better, so you're going to get your own bed." Or something like that. He may not understand every word, but he will understand that you're serious. That can help when there's a change in routine.

We had to move our son out of our bed when he was 8 months old because he wasn't sleeping--he wanted to play. It really helped to have a good nap schedule, too. You might check out "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. He has lots of information about what is normal sleep for children from birth to teens. Another good one is by Elizabeth Pantley (can't remember the title, but it's something about getting your child to sleep gently). They both have good strategies.

Also remember, not all crying is sad crying. Sometimes it's protest crying. If you say no to letting your child have ice cream for dinner, he might cry. But it's just a protest. You're not harming him. You're doing your job as a parent. My son protest-cried when we moved him into his own bed. But it was very short (less than 15 minutes) and he would then go to sleep. It didn't harm our relationship to him. In fact, he was a much easier kid once he was sleeping regularly.

Good luck!!

Answer 7

Try putting a pad on the floor next to yours and gently placing him there after he's asleep. Then gradually getting him to go to sleep there and then working you way into his own room. Or lay down with him in his room until he falls asleep and them leave him. If he wakes up at night have the pad on the floor ready for him and tell him he can't sleep with you, but only on the floor. Eventually he'll get use to sleeping in his own bed, mine did. Took about 2 weeks.

Answer 8

My daughter did this. When she was about 18 months old we put a bean bag chair in our room. Over a period of about two weeks we slowly moved the bean bag to her room. It started at the head of our bed, then the foot of our bed etc. Later the bean bag stayed in the living room and she would still wake up every night but she would go to the bean bag chair instead of our bed. It didn't bother me where she slept as long as it was not our bed. The bean bag we had was safe so if you get one make sure your baby won't be able to suffocate in it if he turns his face down. And besides what's wrong with a baby feeling secure in his mother's bed.? It's weird when the child is over 4 but I think it's fine right now. It some cultures this is normal and expected.

Answer 9

You may want to try moving your baby to anothe bed/bedding in the same room for sometime and try moving out to another room gradually. The change in the room smells/bedding feel/temperature upsets the young as they are finetuned to these subtle changes.
Try playing with a cordless child montior letting the baby get used small small changes at a single time.

Answer 10

Try a bedtime routine - bath,PJs, brush teeth,potty, read a book, say prayers, then maybe lay there with him so he is secure when he falls asleep. If he is still in a baby bed, you may want to incorporate a large stuffed animal and make it clear to him that "Bunny (whatever) so and so" is going to stay here all night while you sleep - to watch over you. At twelve months, they are still so young and need security and reassurance. Don't rush things - you, after all, started this and it won't happen over night. Be patient - he just wants your attention. Reassure him you are there!