I caught my husband cheating,Hes now trying everything he can to make it right but i think its a little to late.Why cant he understand he hurt me and i cant play games with him anymore.Dont get me wrong i love him but the trust is not there anymore. HELP
2006-08-09 05:06:09 · 9 answers · asked by greyeyebeauty81 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Beauty ~
Trust is the foundation of any type of relationship, friendship, lovers, husbands and wife's even school children acknowledge this. You seem to be a fairly reasonable person that can understand this and know that once trust is broken it's gone and lost forever. It's not his place anymore to "Figure-out" that he hurt you and you can't play his idiotic, childish games. He had you, the very best that he would ever find and he threw you away by cheating on you, with someone he thought the grass would be greener with. Good riddens, I say to you, you deserve so much more.
2006-08-09 05:31:13 · answer #1 · answered by Santana D 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
talk with him, and let him know EXACTLY what u are expecting from this marriage. tell him what u've been doing as a wife, what u've been expecting from urself, and what u expect from him as a husband, and from the Marriage. obviously u expect love, trust, and monogamy....??!! is that So hard to ask? he has disrupted ur ability to TRUST him, which is the foundation of any relationship. of course u love him, that's probably why u married him. that's not the problem. the problem is he's not holding up his end of the bargain. and u know what? that's not ok. give him a chance to work on it; but he Has to understand that the only reason he is getting this chance is BECAUSE u love him.. unconditionally, thru sickness and healthy, til death do u part.... u believed in that, and yet he has disrespected ur marriage. and u as a woman. and a person. therefore, he needs to work damn hard to build up that trust! and there's nothing wrong w/ expecting ur husband to stay faithful! if it truly is too little too late, then u have to make a change, because if u are not happy, satisfied, SAFE and SECURE in ur trust and love, then the marriage will not work. if u can find it in ur heart to try again, do it, but willingly, and he HAS to try whatever it takes to make u trust him again. if he can't or is not able to, or does not want to, then he is not the right husband for u. cuz u are Always going to be dissatisfied and distrustful of him, and that is a predictable, horrible, future for u. if u can see something good in him that Can change, cuz he Chooses to, then give him that chance. but don't let him treat u badly, or make u feel bad about urself. cuz that kind of relationship is no good..ur better off working on urself to be a confident, successful, happy and positive woman SO THAT u can be complemented by a confident, successful, happy and positive man.
2006-08-09 12:15:44 · answer #2 · answered by sasmallworld 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unfortunately.. when your husband cheats on you.. you can have all the willpower in the world.. I don't believe it's ever possible to trust him again... I tried forgiving my husband.. but I couldn't.. I still love him wiht all my heart.. but I keep on thinking about that little b*** he was with.. who is a neighbor by the way..
unless you are willing to live with him... without the trust (it might come back.. but don't hold your breath)... I believe you should go each your separate way...
2006-08-09 12:11:37 · answer #3 · answered by Lyne B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, well, cheating...it is such a common thing among men and I have lived with the absolute worst example..dear, I know you love him but women are like "A Candy Store" they are always coming on to your man to sample the flavor...and Men, being the weakest sex, rarely turn it down. The other problem is "habit" will they let this date lead them to the next time OR will he be looking for the next time? Once they break the "ICE" to cheating..
it's a mental strain on us to get over it and we always in our minds, wonder if he's going to do it again...MINE DID!
2006-08-09 12:30:19 · answer #4 · answered by GRACE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have made up your mind that you will never trust him again...why are you still there??? You are playing games too.Sorry.but it is true. You need to say what you mean and mean what you say! If you are DONE,then leave..get out.I dont know if you have kids..but if you do...Dont let this interfere with their relationship with him.You need to let them still have a relationship with him.This will be tough,no doubt.But if you are through..then MOVE ON. Good Luck and Take Care.
2006-08-09 12:21:26 · answer #5 · answered by mrssmokestack003 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you come to a point when your heart and mind will forgive him, your trust will return. Obviously, its takes commitment on his part and love with acceptance on your part.
PS: I am sorry that your husband was weak minded and has caused you so much pain. Good luck to you and your marriage.
2006-08-09 12:44:11 · answer #6 · answered by A. Sorola 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When you stop taking him back he will listen. Every time you take him back then he will think that he can get away with it again. You are only letting him know that it is ok for him to do that by taking him back. Move on and pretend that he doesn't matter. Maybe then he will be serious about you.
2006-08-09 12:12:20 · answer #7 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a very easy rule to follow with that. He cheats, he's gone. That simple. I have always found them to cheat again. Once a cheater always a cheater. I have no tolerance for that.
2006-08-09 12:20:01 · answer #8 · answered by ♥ Sarah Bear ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesnt want to listen,he wants to play you.
2006-08-09 12:19:17 · answer #9 · answered by sher7us 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋